Cultural bits and bobs!

Age is respected, very much so! The Nationals in the office call me various forms of mother in Tok Ples [vernacular, their individual tribal language]. At first I thought that they were teasing me but we had a chat one day and to one man told me that I remind him of the woman leader in his village clan! Ken is often called Mr Kenneth and me Mrs Kenneth especially by the staff here. PNGs believe that old people have learnt so much when they were young that with their wisdom and knowledge they can teach the younger generation so much. Too right!

Hand shakes. Oh how in our culture we gauge a person by a hand shake! It took me a few weeks to realise in Church that woman to woman and man to woman it is barely a touch of the finger tips and certainly not the palm touching except in a few cases when in Church a man will give me a strong hand shake.

Eye contact. Oh no, not with the opposite sex. A big taboo. Direct eye contact is considered disrespectful AND blinking eyes to a member of the opposite sex means that you have a sexual interest in them. It is also inappropriate to stand close to a member of the opposite sex when talking to them.

In the market you have to be careful where you walk as it is most disrespectful to step over there mats where they display their veg and fruit. It's all linked to menstruation and if you do they will expect a cash payment and will then throw the food away. Even your skirt touching their food is a bad thing. Also you shouldn't touch the food too much and no bargaining. Actually in most cases they display little price tags in front of the veg and fruit.

Family relationships seem odd and yet quite sensible to work out. So if your father or mother are the eldest in your family you would call your aunts and uncles liklik[small] mama or liklik papa. If your parents are the youngest then your uncles and aunts become bikpela[big] mama and bikpela papa.

If you are described as "fat" accept it as a compliment as fat means healthy I DON'T think!!!!!!!!!!

Had a very interesting conversation yesterday with a local colleague whose brother had recently died. I was asking how the funeral had gone [difficult to know how to ask these things but we get on] and he was explaining their ritual which was fascinating. His wife had gone to be with the widow, along side other women, and to wash her and dress her in black and release her from her home where she has stayed inside since her husband had died. It was up to the family to decide how long that period should be but our colleague was pushing for a year as she was so young and he wouldn't want his wife to put up with much longer. So in the ceremony to release her the women would give her a fishing line, a mock bow and arrow, both are symbols of her becoming the father / mother figure for her children, in other words she is the earner for her family and until the extended family release her she can't remarry.

T here you go, can't think of many more bits except that our haus meri is still uncomfortable walking past Ken even if he's sitting on the verandah! So if he's inside he'll go and sit outside whilst she is ironing for example.