First and foremost I'd like to wish my amazing son Aaron a Happy 34th Birthday. We wish we could be there to help you celebrate - know that we're thinking of you as we sip our Margarita's. I've been coming to Mexico ever since I was 17. All totaled, I've probably spent close to four months here if you were to add up all those trips that lasted only a week or so. It's really been in the last couple of years that Deb and I have stayed here for one-month stretches that I've tried to be observant so as not to offend the locals. I've recapped the top 50 Things that we've noted, seen and experienced during our time here - things you need to consider for YOUR next Mexican visit. Mexican Etiquette First and foremost: Family is everything! 1. The family is at the center of the social structure. 2. Mexicans consider it their duty and responsibility to help family members. 3. Most Mexican families are extremely traditional, with the father as the head, the authority figure and the decision-maker. 4. Mothers are greatly revered, but their role may be seen as secondary to that of their husband. And, the men may cook at an outdoor function in a park, but the woman is the cook. 5. Children come to the parties; it is expected. 6. At some finer restaurants, it may be considered rude for the staff to bring a customer the check without the customer first requesting it. The customer of a restaurant must ask for the check for it to be brought. 7. Getting the last snack or canape left on a plate without offering it around first makes the person seem rude/greedy. 8. It is considered impolite to "toss" objects to people instead of directly handing it to them. 9. It is rude to place the money on the counter or the seller's table when purchasing something. 10. Make sure you have a few one or two peso coins. In a lot of bathrooms, there is an older lady sitting there who will ‘sell’ you toilet paper. And, really, what’s the harm? I know people who take their own T.P., but these women keep the bathroom cleans and it’s how they earn a little money for their families! Don't be stingy! 11. Phrases like "in America" or "I'm from America" (especially when speaking Spanish) when referring to the United States is offensive to some Latin American people as America is a continent, not just the United States. Therefore, all people born in the American continent are Americans. People from the United States of America are referred to by their nationality, "estadounidense" [ehs-tah-doh-o-unee-den-say] or "Norte americano" [nohr-tay-ah-may-ree KAH-noh or nah] (lit. "United-Statian" or "North-American") - if asked I'll usually respond with, “Somos de los Estados Unidos.” (We are from the United States.) 12. Dancing and singing is a part of Mexican etiquette and culture. Music is a must at every party, and while a family may seem to be poor in some instances, occasionally you will see a very updated sound and music system. It really is that important. 13. In many situations, punctuality is less important than it is for people elsewhere. Showing up exactly on schedule for a party or gathering is undesirable. 14. Slow Down -- The "mañana time" stereotype is mostly true. Life obeys slower rhythms, and "on time" is a flexible concept. Arriving 30 minutes to 2 hours late to a party in someone's home is acceptable -- in fact, coming at the specified hour to a Mexican home might be considered rude, for your hosts almost certainly will not be ready. Here's the "mostly" part: Dinner invitations are less flexible; arrive within 30 minutes of the appointed hour. 15. The courtesy titles "Señora" and "Señorita" (Mrs. and Miss, respectively) are taken colloquially as "Married Woman" and "Virgin Woman." This follows Catholic prohibitions against intercourse outside of marriage. Hence, it is more polite to address even an elderly woman as "Señorita" if her marital status is unknown. To do otherwise impugns her character. 16. Several kinds of food are eaten with the fingers (tacos, tortas, churros, etc.) Eating them with a fork and knife is viewed as both comical and snobbish. In case of doubt, follow the lead of other diners. 17. Before starting to eat it is a common courtesy to say/be wished Buen provecho [bwehn proh-BEH-choh] (as in "Bon appetit") when in the company of new people. This courtesy is almost never used between long-time friends. You will also hear it often in restaurants when you are served your food. 18. As in the USA, unless service is atrocious, tips should never be below 10%25 of the bill total as they are commonly a waiter's main means of income; 15%25 or more is most appropriate. ' 19. When someone sneezes, you should say "Salud" (lit. "Health"). This is the equivalent for "bless you" in United States. The person who sneezed should respond with "Gracias" ("Thank you"). Salud is also used in place of the word “Cheers” when’re you’re drinking. 20. The use of the Mexican flag for any other reason than for national holidays (such as Independence Day) is considered a serious insult and faux pas for Mexicans, as is painting, throwing, making clothing from it, etc., and is also penalized under the law. 21. Using Mexican Spanish phrases and interjections like "Chihuahua," "Caramba," "Ándale," "Taco" (Mexican Taco Bells advertise Tacos as Tacostadas or Tachitos) or "bad words" thinking that by doing so you will "blend in" is sometimes seen as mocking and disrespectful coming from tourists. 22. Tipping bellboys and people who pack things in the supermarket can be considered a must sometimes, thus when not doing so it is recommended to state you do not have change, but never that you do not want to do so. Gas station attendants expect to be tipped if they perform an additional service, like washing your windows. In some cases, this is the only 'salary' they get. 23. A gift should be opened immediately after receiving it. It is expected. Except at children’s birthday parties…it is common for the child to open their presents in private. It can be considered ostentatious to ohhhh and ahhhh over gifts and rude for people to figure out "who paid what?” 24. When taking out a cigarette, gum, candy or packed snack, one should offer every other person in the room. I would not say this was general in a big party, but a small group of people. 25. When offering something, especially food, Mexicans will often repeat the offer several times and with increasing enthusiasm. Offering something only once can be rude. It is not impolite to refuse such offers, and in some cases they may be made just to be polite without really hoping a person will accept. 26. If two or more people are having a conversation and you need to leave or want to leave, it is well looked upon to say disculpe ("excuse [me]") or permiso ("[with] permission"). 27. It is usual to greet family members and friends with a kiss on the cheek. Stick to handshakes until your host decides you rate a more intimate greeting. But don't back away from an embrace -- that would amount to a rejection of friendship. The more you live in Mexico, the more you will starting hugging and kissing and you will even take that habit back to your home country. 28. After finishing dinner, expect to stay for a few hours. Leaving right away might be perceived as that you were there only for a free meal. 29. Entering a household and not greeting the elders or owners of the household is regarded as highly offensive. 30. Mexicans expect to barter when making a purchase…not an artisan, however. Your best bet during that type of “negotiation” is to smile and walk away after they state the price. Say "gracias," and leave. If they’re willing to barter for their artwork, they will start the process. I usually say, “Gracias. Esta muy bonita,” and walk away. Sometimes they will state a lower offer; sometimes they will let you walk away. 31. In a gathering, you must greet each and everyone, especially the eldest, no matter how long it takes. 32. Photographing military, police, or airport installations is strictly forbidden. 33. Saying "Desculpe" before asking a question of someone is a polite way of saying "Excuse me" before launching into a request for information or directions. Similarly, asking "Habla inglés" is more polite than assuming every Mexican you meet speaks English. 34. Say "con permiso" (pardon me) to get past people in a crowd. 35. Giving up one's seat on a bus for the elderly, the blind, and pregnant women is common courtesy. 36. Mexicans call waiters joven (literally, young man) no matter how old they are. Call a female waitress "señorita" (miss) or "señora" (ma'am), if you know she is married. Ask for "la cuenta, por favor" (the check, please) when you want the bill; it's usually considered rude for a server to bring it before a customer asks for it. 37. Have a Little Respect -- Mexicans are lavish with titles of respect, so dispense señor, señora, and señorita (Mr., Mrs., Miss) freely. Teachers, lawyers, architects, and other professionals have earned the right to a title: licenciado for lawyers [lee-sehn-see-AH-doh] (and some other professions requiring a college degree), maestro or maestra for elementary schoolteachers, profesor or profesora for secondary or college teachers. 38. Show Some Culture -- Mexicans tend to divide the world into the well-raised and cultured (bien educado) [bee-ehn ay-doo-KAH-doh] and the poorly raised (mal educado) [mahl ay-doo KAH-doh]. Don't be shy about trying out your rudimentary Spanish; even the most elementary attempt is appreciated because it shows your interest in the culture. It's no big deal to be categorized as a foreigner, so long as it's a cultured foreigner and not one of the barbarians. Speaking Spanish: Do try and speak some Spanish, however rudimentary. You will gain brownie points for trying and might be reassured by a surprise response in fluent English. 39. Gift Giving Etiquette - When visiting a Mexican home, it is common to bring a gift. Whether it is chocolates, flowers or a bottle of wine, it is appreciated. Mexican's are famous for their hospitality and kindness. 40 Gift wrapping does not follow any particular protocol…gift bags are very popular here now. You will rarely find gift boxes, except to buy in stores already wrapped. Do not give marigolds as they symbolize death. Do not give red flowers as they have a negative connotation. White flowers are a good gift as they are considered uplifting. 41. Gringos: Don’t ruffle your feathers if you are called a gringo. There’s no other word for an American. Most foreign residents here have appropriated the term, and call themselves gringos. 42. If you are passing someone in the street, you don’t say ‘hola’ unless you’re planning to stop and chat. You say ‘adios.’ It’s similar to the Hawaii ‘Aloha.’ 43. Taking photographs may not always be welcomed among some indigenous groups in Mexico, and you should ask permission first. 44. You don’t tip taxi drivers. You just pay the agreed-upon price for the trip before you get in the taxi. However, if your driver provides you with extra service…for instance, carrying your bags to your door, it is nice to tip them. 45. If you are sitting at a table with local people, wait until your host starts eating first. 46. DO take off sunglasses and hats if entering a church. 47. Really slow down the car upon approaching a Tope (speed bump). 48. Keep looking at your feet when walking on a Mexican sidewalks. 49. Wash your veggies in Microdyne - BEFORE consumption. 50. Don't get upset with big scorpions on the floor at night - it's the little ones that hurt more.