Day 33 (LaTrobe University) - Bendigo, Victoria Australia

I'm sick. And it sucks. One can imagine how hard it is to be sick while at college, but being sick at college in a foreign country is worse. I'll stop being overdramatic, I'm not THAT sick. Just the usual common cold: sore throat, stuffy nose, sinus pressure, runny nose. This is an issue because I'm going on my first trip in a few hours and I'll be carrying this sickness with me. I'm already bringing a handicap of going on a trip with second years and having zero experience. I just want to sleep. I'm already planning for a massive overwhelming feeling of learning how to camp, cook, and safety in the water - all in a few days. Along with being amongst people who all know each other and have established relationships. I just hope everyone understands that I KNOW NOTHING and assist me in my outdoor endeavors. I'm actually doing them all a favor, they want to teach kids about the outdoors and how to live, I can be their first pupil. I already realized that my pack is too small, I couldn't fit my bladder, sleeping mat, fly, or cooking utensils.This is when I thought, "Why did I choose outdoor education? Why am I in Australia preparing to go on a trip with no prior experience, not knowing anyone? Home is so much safer.I could be on spring break right now…"But if I was at home I would be like, "This BCA assignment is killing me.I'm super exhausted from RAing. Why can't I be in Australia right now prepping for a trip in the bush?" If I don't challenge myself or push my boundaries and get out of my comfort zone how will I learn? How can I become a better individual? Some things are just a little tougher than I had previously thought.