Is It For Me!?? I woke fairly early this morning and seen as I wasn't tired I laid in bed listening to the rain and contemplating life. Class started at 9am with meditation and most of the group decided to do cacao today but as it makes me squeamy in the stomach I decided against it. Meditation was really nice none the less and I was able to be the observer of my crazy mind. Yoga was taken by Kyle again and after a 30 minute extended break between meditation and yoga I completely lost all concentration and inner peace. The session was all over the place, sloppy and hard to follow; making me realize I will have to create my own program that not only engages me but keeps my concentration. The lecture was about self-study and unfortunately the teacher went off on complete tangents and we were all lost and board out of our mind. It was at this point my monkey mind came back into play and I shutdown and was unable to except or listen to anything that was being said - maybe a protective mechanism. This also made me realize how lucky we have been to have the amazing Jennifer as a teacher and how important it is to have someone you believe in giving the class content. I left class feeling all kinds of doubt but worst anxious; anxious to get going, feeling like there's nothing left for me to learn here. It's also a good sign that doing the 10 day silent retreat would not be in my best interest and I wonder what more I would learn from it. The weather wasn't so great today so I only went for a short walk into town and then headed back to the house to cook up some vegetables for dinner. The day disappeared as I hung-out with some of my housemates and made plans for Mexico.