Sorry folks, it's a biggun!!! Get a cuppa tea and biscuit at the ready... Pretty sure I just got woken up by a cat, pissing on some plastic bags in our room. Eww. Why is there a cat in the hostel anyway? And why is he pissing in our room?! Who does that?!! Moving on... So my last day in Timaru was pretty chilled. I checked out the art gallery... turns out I'm a big fan of this dude 'GOLDIE' who paints tons of Maori Tribesmen. He may as well be a...

Alright miserable b*****s? ... How's the weather? Cold?  Take a look at this next picture... I'm not actually cold, or miserable... As you can see. Think 'smug' is the word for an image like that. In case you've forgotten what I look like... That's me :) Visited this nice swanky, garden joint in Timaru. Some kind of tree fest I reckon. Spent most of the Day there, just admiring all the green around me. It amazed me how quiet this place ...

What a mental couple of days... Jesus Christ. I literally haven't stopped laughing. People in the cafe I'm sitting in must think I'm mental. I keep laughing to myself, looking through the pictures from yesterday. Just had myself an awesome breakfast. Massive dippy egg and soldiers. Been so long since I've eaten it, I couldn't remember how you cracked into the egg... Or it could be that I'm actually losing my basic brain cells for good??! ...

How's England suckers? Cold? Boring? ... Sorry to hear that. For most of you, this will be a difficult blog to read because, you'll basically want to turn into me right now...So here I am... Lovely jubley Kaikoura (Maori language ... meaning 'to eat Crayfish'... Which I haven't bloody done yet!!) Though, I did have some pretty impressive Thai grub last night... 'Seafood Pad Thai' is what I had. The place is surrounded with huge glacie...

'Sup Nerds. Before I begin... I'd like you all to know that I've earned myself some bloody good choc, which is giving me brain food for the blog, as I'm currently running on empty. Rum and Raisin Choc, if you please. Whittaker's Choc. Get involved haters. Got smart, was up nice and crispy early at 6am. Was buzzing for the hike, but first I had to get some real boring, sensible housewife s*** from the store. I also strategically dropped my s...