Sorry folks, it's a biggun!!! Get a cuppa tea and biscuit at the ready... 

Pretty sure I just got woken up by a cat, pissing on some plastic bags in our room. Eww. Why is there a cat in the hostel anyway? And why is he pissing in our room?! Who does that?!! 

Moving on... So my last day in Timaru was pretty chilled. I checked out the art gallery... turns out I'm a big fan of this dude 'GOLDIE' who paints tons of Maori Tribesmen. He may as well be a camera. Literally feel as if you could shake hands with the person in the painting. Crazy realistic. Even the greeny veins old people get protruding out their hands look real. Bravo GOLDIE... "Ere, have a balloon." 

The hostel I was staying in was super cool. Real friendly people there. Made friends with some German girlies, couple of German chappies, a super cool lass from South Africa and this Japanese gem called Meg. She worked in the restaurant down the road,and brought us back THE BEST SUSHI I HAD EVER TASTED.... EVERY NIGHT. Because they make it fresh everyday, they always had loads left over. We stayed up late just chatting away. Told her about the stag do, which she found extremely entertaining. Just a lovely Japanese lass. 

As I was leaving she asked if I'd like to take some crayfish with me. Definitely! She said they're in a lunch box in the fridge. Opened up this lunch box... To my surprise, they were not the reddy, pink coloured, cooked crayfish that I was expecting... but a pile of LIVE crayfish. They we're like giant woodlice!! One of the b*****s was trying to crawl out. I jumped so hard that I very nearly tipped out the army of grey coloured creeps. Tried to shut the lunch box, but this stupid crayfish had his antenna hanging out the side. Meg was nearly crying with laughter. Glad she found it so funny. 

I didn't fancy carrying around a living crayfish. I had no idea how to cook him? And people on the bus would think I'm a nut job carrying around a giant woodlouse as a pet. 

 So I hopped on a bus to Dunedin. My plan was to eventually catch up with my Uncle and Aunt who were having my cousins over at the end of the week. Haven't seen the girlies for TIME! Years in fact! Since they were teeny toppers. So I was super excited on the bus. 

My hostel was in the centre of Dunedin's Octagon. This is where all the bars were... Ching ching!! I met a couple of lads in the room, an English chappy and this dude from Melbourne. We decided to head out for a beer... Or alcoholic ginger beer, was dead tasty! They were a funny couple of people. Telling me their chat up lines on girls, asking if they worked. They were awful. I gave it to them straight, there was a reason why they were both single. 

Got a terrible nights kip. Forget 'Central Backers'... More like SNORE CENTRAL! Never heard anything like it. Think I got all of 2hours sleep. I was tempted to go all Incredible Hulk on them, start tearing up the room, throwing their bags across the room like an ape. But no, I'm a polite lass, and tolerated their grundling noises. Grundling isn't even a word. But they were definitely grundling.

I was pretty much already awake, when I received a delightful message from my Uncle Danny, asking if I'd like to have breakfast with him and Tracey that morning. Definitely took him up on the offer! Was super excited! 
There they were, waiting outside... Felt like a wee nipper, ran up to them both like a child, and threw my arms round them! Was so good to see them both. There's something a bit magical about seeing family after being away from home for so long. 
So off we went, escaped the snore palace, and found ourselves in this little cafe having breakfast together. I ordered pancakes with bacon and bananas... (seemed totally acceptable after munching on that bacon and banana burger back in Abel Tasman). Was pretty NOM. But I did find myself eyeing up Danny & Tracey' s eggs Benedict... Scrummy stuff. So it seems... I did in fact spend the whole day with these guys. They didn't seem too mad, so I guess I made the right choice ;) 

Spoiled me rotten they did!!! After breakfast me and Danny went to Baldwin Street. The Steepest street in the world!!! Heck. Yep. It sure was steep. Almost vertical in fact! We climbed to the top, and had our pictures taken like cool kids. There was this kiddy riding uphill on his bike. Must admit, he looked pretty unstable... Wonky Donkey style... lucky he wasn't using that 'free of charge' hostel bike back in Rotorua... He wouldn't have lost his gonads, FOR SURE. The guy turned around and came zooming down. Surprised his wheels didn't catch alight!!
  
After visiting Baldwin, Danny and Tracey decided to take me to New Zealand's 'Brighton' Beach. My giddy God. This place may not have had a pier, or a line of bars & clubs, full of drunken students frolicking about the show, but what it did have was bloody breathtaking. They showed me the sea, where we climbed over these huge great big rocks, that had a barky texture to them. The whole place was teaming with tiny limpets and mussels attached to all the rocks. We climbed further and found a SEAL. Big b***** he was too! I guess that was the closest thing I could relate to the Brighton back home... Something you'd usually find around 3am on a Sunday morning... West Street, maybe outside Wahoo... Some poor mite rolling around on the floor like a sausage, grunting every now and then... I personally preferred this seal. 

It really was stunning. There were some people surfing further along the beach. We ended up finding a tiny cave, that I couldn't resist popping into and posing like Gollum... Prat. We ended up having a nibble there. I tired New Zealand's Hokey Pokey ice cream, that was gorgeous. Puts Ben & Jerrys to shame! Bold statement there, I know! But it true folks, get involved. 

After hanging out in Brighton, we nipped over to Otago Harbour, where Danny and Tracey treated me to a wildlife Cruise and bus ride. We were a little early so decided to nip into the Customhouse for a cheeky vino session! We shared a fancy bottle of Pino between us. Was delicious! Though we had to pour the left overs into cardboard coffee cups to drink on the cruise... We got class innit. We followed Portobello road all the way up to where the cruise started. The bus dude was giving us information on Dunedin, however, we sat at the back of the bus like naughty school kids, with our wine and had our own little conversation. Hehe! 

The cruise was bloody awesome. Managed to see a whole bundle of Albatross birds!! ROYAL ALBATROSS!! I'm not a birdy person... But GEE WHIZZ! The flappers on these beasts were gigantic! I say flappers... they barely flapped their wings... They were so big, one swoop would glide them through the air like a team of jumbo jets! Never see a creature like it. The seagulls looked like little flies compared to the Albatross. We saw some other birds... The Shags were funny. They kinda looked like small Stalks with ruffled hair... maybe that's they got their name. "Look at the state of that bird's hair, looks like it's just had a shag!" ... Another animal that reminded me of the minions found in Brighton... Hehe. Sometimes, I'm just too funny for my own good. 
We also saw some more seals,some penguins and a slightly different breed of Albatross. Was such a nice day. Whilst on the boat, the crew offered us complimentary hot chocolate and little pie type things. Proper cosy! 

After the cruise we decided to go out for dinner. All that talk of birds regurgitating squid (strangely) got me fancying seafood. We rocked up to this oriental restaurant called 'Chopsticks'. They had a huge menu to choose from! I went for a fish soup thing... The bowl was bigger than my head. Had loads of fish and this cabbage stuff, all swimming in a spicy broth, and then they brought out a huge plate of rice!! Core! Would definitely go back! Was super scrummy. 

Sadly, I had one more night at the backpackers... So I headed back there. Was a Saturday night. So it would've been rude not check out the Octagon... Me and 3 chappies all decided to nip out for some drinks. An Ozzie from my room, an American dude and this Scouser prat. They were funny. But this Scouser dude was grafting a little too much for my liking. We all headed to a club. Bar 10 it was called. Was a pretty snazzy joint. Got boozed up on these banana and Malibu shots... and pranced around like a toss pot for a bit... Purposely made my dancing as unattractive as possible, in hope that this Scouser would ease up on the grafting. No. Apparently that just made matters worse. I scurried away like a mouse... Made up an excuse... "Erm, I have to be up early."... "Well, just give it to me straight, can I get a kiss?"... 

"No thanks"... not after him telling me all about his sexual rendezvous in Australia... Here, I'll quote for ya... "I once cracked my ribs from having sex."

Why on earth would I wanna know that? There was nothing I could do with that information. Nothing. I needed saving. 

Me and this Ozzie chap, Duncan headed off. The American, Will had his hands full with a kiwi lass, so he was alright. We decided to visit the 'Mac's' beer bar. Was full of people. Rammed. Ended up jamming out with some of the locals. Some kiwi guy offered to take me to one of the Lakes in his motorbike for next weekend. Haha so bloody random. 

I headed back to the hostel... Was still knackered from the night before... Lack of sleep and what not. Must've been about 2-3am. I'd gotten all cosy just about to drift off, when Duncan climbs up to my bed and asks me for a snuggle. It did make me laugh. He was smelling a bit boozey, so I let him off... as for the snuggle... "Nah, you're alright mate." 

So that was my last night at the hostel. I met up with Danny the next morning. He picked me up, and helped me with my bags, absolute legend. Dropped my stuff off at their house... Which, by the way, is beautiful. Their house is right up in the hills, about a 5min drive to the town centre. It's surrounded by forest. Big house too! Like a blooming holiday home!! Views are absolutely stunning! Couldn't wish for a better place to live if you tried. Definitely beats staying in the muggy hostels, that's for sure!! 

We had some delicious scrambled eggs, with fresh chives, all cheffy and posh! Tasted bloody good. And I was given a homemade fruit smoothie... must've been looking rough from the night before... 
 
We set off in the morning together... Visited Danny's long time friend Lyndon. Danny introduced me, and then took me round Lyndon' s garden. I say garden, it was more like a bloody rainforest. Absolutely thriving with life and beautiful flowers. He also had a bird cage at the bottom, which he kept parrots in from the Solomon Islands. They were so cool. But dead squarky! Danny told me how he knew Lyndon. Was a brilliant story. I understand where their friendship had stemmed from. Lyndon seemed like a lovely chappy! He'd recently overcome a major back operation, and now could stand up pretty straight! Clever doccies and their gadgets had fixed him up good and proper! 

After visiting Lyndon and making quick stop over at Tracey' s brothers place (Jason), we headed on to Port Chalmers where we stopped off for a coffee and nibble. Bloody good nibble I must say!! May need to do some kind of marathon to burn off the nibble... But it's all good.. Besides, it was the weekend! 

It's a real stunning port, and the town was full of these little quirky shops and gimmicky places. We went into a jewellery shop that was crammed full of these stunning, old pieces of jewellery. My favourite was the Australian Opal jewellery. It's this stunning stone, that's white an iridescent. So lads, if you're planning on making me a happy woman... Just knock me up one of those in a box or something, cheers. 

I got to see Port Chalmers from a height, and got a snap of where my folks stood up on this monument when they visited NZ. The view was awesome. We were so high up!! Made me giggle that there were these random little hens clucking about up there with us. 

We headed down to Long Beach. In my opinion, every human on this planet should visit this beach. Was friggin massive, untouched, surrounded by beautiful, colourful flowers, trees, long grass, and these huge cliffs embedded with caves. I was there ages picking up these shells that were just laying on the beach. They kinda looked like Paua Shell, only they were shaped like curly snail shells. Seen nothing like them before! 

Me and Danny walked right down to the bottom til we reached these huge caves. I climbed right up to this cave that was up high in one of the cliffs... Took advantage of another geeky Gollum snap. Hehe!! Then as I climbed down we spotted this dead lamb that had obviously fallen from the cliff top. Stupid, clumsy lamb. Blooming heck. That could've been me!!? 

The caves were big. Would be an amazing place to have a party. Massive speakers, BBQ, maybe some medicinal wine... Get jammy, then fall asleep in this cave. Whoever is up for this next year, hit me up. 

Long Beach guys... One for the bucket list for sure!!! 

Decided to go for a nice run through the woods nearby, and up this bloody great big hill. Saw Dunedin from up high. Checked out the lake from a distance too. Just thought how amazing this place really was. There is nowhere that can compare to NZ. Surely? 
Got smart with my exercises. Must've looked mental...lucky no one was... Oh wait, yep, there was someone there. He must've been laying down or something... I turned around after doing high knee sprints. He must've found it hilarious. I'm not gunna lie, I let a couple loose whilst doing these, they were probably loud too, seeing as I thought I was alone. 

Farting pixie. Trumping away whilst doing high knees... Lucky I'm a cool kid hey? 

Dinner was so awesome. Fine dining with the Farringtons, Tracey, Danny and this bloody Australian parrot, Pickle. Still got some bonding to do with this one, as he gave me a nibble when I first met him. He's a funny one though. Hops about the place, imitating the phone, people, cutlery. He likes saying 'Hello Ratbag'. Also shared the dining experience with a couple of Falkland Islands folk, Lisha, and Codey. Two students that Danny and Tracey are looking after. We all tucked into a scrummy slab of steak and salad. Medium rare obviously. 

Truly and utterly spolit. 

Got myself my own bed too! Fresh sheets! Nobody to climb up on my bed frames asking for a snuggle! No snorers! No smelly, farting Japanese girls... Just me!! 

Thank you Farringtons for giving me a little extra love and cushioning on my travels! I'm going to abuse the hell out of this... Just you wait! Mwahahahaha!