How's England suckers? Cold? Boring? ... Sorry to hear that. 

For most of you, this will be a difficult blog to read because, you'll basically want to turn into me right now...

So here I am... Lovely jubley Kaikoura (Maori language ... meaning 'to eat Crayfish'... Which I haven't bloody done yet!!) Though, I did have some pretty impressive Thai grub last night... 'Seafood Pad Thai' is what I had. The place is surrounded with huge glacier mountains, forest, beaches and wildlife. Such a stunning place to be. ;) yeah not forgetting a good selection of pubs and gift shops ;). 

I'm currently sitting in a bar, with a NOM hot choccie, licking the sea salt from my lips. Been out all morning and afternoon in the sun... Whale watching. Now I know how that sounds... Whale watching... sitting in a boat, with a group of people, cold, shivering, feelings sick and just waiting for this whale to do it's jig, then b***** off. Well a*******s, you're wrong. This was up there with the Maori Performance, truly something to cherish and remember. 
The guys at the whale watching centre weren't sure whether to head out on the boats today. They hadn't seen any whales for a good week...Then whilst we were waiting to board, we received the factual goods from the Brother Vessel... They'd heard the whales in the area! After doing a quick safety brief, we hopped into the coach that took us to the boats. I met this French lass named Julie. She had been working on a dairy farm, and she was in the area for her 2 daybreak. 

We were on the boat... And Jesus, you needed strong innards for this ride! Felt like I'd left my stomach above my head a good few times, as we slammed down real hard. The seas were rough, ARRGGHH ME HARTIES!! (That was my pirate voice). I was determined NOT to upchuck like some of the fellas on board. I felt quiffy on the ferry from Wellington to Picton, so I wasn't sure how I'd cope... 

"FRONT SEATS ARE THE BEST FOLKS"

Sod the seasick... I'm seeing me some WHALE. Got a pretty good seat, though I stayed outside on the slippery deck for most of it. You got to see so much more that way. The ride began to get even more choppy... My feet came off the deck a couple of times! Once they had found decent spot the guys turned off the engines, used a huge, trumpet-like object, stuck it in the sea, and listened out for the clicks of the Sperm Whale. That's how they communicate with one another, and they also hunt their food by creating these loud clicking noises. It stuns their prey, so they can swallow them whole! Greedy b*****s. 

I also found out that they were named 'Sperm Whales' after some Marine Folk discovered that they had this white, silky, liquid inside their huge heads... They then opened up a female Whale, and found the same white liquid... Had absolutely diddley squit to do with their reproductive organs... But the daft prats had already named the whales by then. So the name stuck. Pure Filth. 

I was doing okay... A few people had started throwing up in a BIG WAY. Paper bags galore! But no... I wasn't gunna throw up... Besides, the kiwi giving the tour was yum. Couldn't go throwing up my milkshake... that's just not how the cool kids roll. 

It took a little while... We were all looking out for the Sperm's Squirt. Haha... Sorry! Fancied being seedy. The blow hole squirt... 

BOOM. There it was. Big beautiful squirt of ocean spray! (Not the cranberry juice, you silly plebs!). We made our way towards it. I had a bloody good position on the boat... got soaked. But it was worth it. The pictures I've taken do not do it justice... there was so much movement on the boat that it was hard to capture the whale. However, we got pretty close, and then stayed there, watching this whale. I genuinely had goosebumps being in this whale's presence. Such a huge creature, blowing its load all over the show, sorry I'll stop with the crude comments. Was an absolutely sensational experience. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life... 
I will also remember the sound of this dude puking up his entire, weeks worth of dinners behind me. Bless him. Sounded painful. I'm pretty sure he missed out on the Whale part of Whale Watching... Shame. 

We waited a little longer for this beautiful creature to dive back underwater. That's when you see the tail!! I tried to get a picture, but again... The boat was rocking out like 'KISS' by that time. And off he went... SPLOOSH. 

Fellas, if you ever wanna please your lass... Take them to see some Whales. I was grinning from ear to ear afterwards. 

We then made our way towards these huge canyons. We were on the lookout for 'Dusky Dolphins'. My word, they were playful little f***ers. As soon as we were close, there they were! Playing around the boat! Apparently, they are quite promiscuous creatures... They get freaky with 3 different mates a day! So, those of you who don't mind sleazing it up... Have no fear, at least you're not a dolphin! They're actually quite intelligent animals... Maybe we should take a leaf out of their book? Might do us a favour... I got some pretty decent snaps of these as the water was a little calmer there. 

Had a bit of banter with the crew. They were lovely! Looking after all the sickies on board. 

We then headed back towards shore. The French lady I was hanging out with asked if I had been to Ohau (The Seal Waterfall Walk). I was planning on making my way there at some point, so we combined forces, and went there together. We hopped in the car the farmers had leant her to use, an off we went! She was a very interesting person. Told me about where she had travelled, what she had studied, seen... And she decided to leave her French life back home for New Zealand, because the farming life is much better here. 

Once we reached Ohau, we took a small trek through the forest where we reached this stunning waterfall. We spotted a seal! It was a little, cute one. Looking all clumsy on the rocks. Slamming it's body on the ground. Made me laugh how awkwardly it moved. Haha. 

We headed out towards the beach... looked out to admire the rocks. Rocks that were heaving with SEALS!! We saw so many of them! Got pretty close too!! They made me laugh so much. A couple of them started fighting, loads were just waddling about, some swimming, but my favourite was the lazy sausage that was laying on the ledge. He was so floppy. Haha! 

Probably took too many pictures of the seals.... 

Julie and I spent a fair bit of time down there. After taking a billion pictures of these little, cute sausages... We headed back into town. That's where I am now. I'm going on a seafood hunt tonight... Shouldn't be too hard. There's seafood everywhere here!!! 

Almost forgot! Saw an Albatross today!!! Turns out, they're pretty massive... Big, f*** off wing span. Impressive bird to say the least. 
 
Had an absolutely amazing day today. Whale watching. Recommend by Hev.