RECUPERATION…A time to heal and gain strength…

There are times in our lives that lend themselves to starting something new. The beginning of a new year, finishing school, leaving a job, or changing homes…countries…these are all times that turn our minds to fresh starts. With 2010 approaching rapidly, I have been thinking about what a new start truly means. We can choose to start anew anytime. In any moment we can decide that a bad day or a relationship that's gotten off on the wrong foot can be started again. It is a mental shift that allows us to clean the slate and approach anything with fresh eyes, and we can make that choice at any time. 
I have found starting new is most powerful when we focus our attention to what we are choosing to create… Giving all of our attention to the unwanted aspects of our lives allows what we resist to persist….We need to remember to leave enough room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to ourselves, because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new, no matter how much we may already like it. There is no need to get down on ourselves if we don't reach our new goals instantly… Instead, acknowledge the forward motion and choose to reset and start again, knowing that with each choice we learn, grow, and move forward. I have had to restart and reset so many times over the past few years, that I have exhausted myself. It has been difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that once the journey has begun, it may take unexpected turns. It was not until I settled into Australia a bit, that I realized the reason I came here and chose to start anew was to dedicate myself to becoming the best I can be. Once I had this realization, everything shifted once again.All the plans I had in my mind, all of a sudden seemed like yet another opportunity for me to run away from what my heart really wants.I have had a few people over the past months ask me "Ilyssa, have you taken any time to grieve your grandfathers death?"…My reply is always the same, a quick "sure, I have"…but I have been lying to everyone, but most important myself.The most ironic part is that my grandfathers death, allowed me to be reborn.It wasn't until a few days ago…I was running, pushing my body ridiculously hard up and down hills, completed 15k…and then I sat down by a lake in the park…and the tears just started pouring.For me, it's not about grieving his death, but simply just saying thank you. I looked around at how beautiful everything looked I felt my insides starting to relax. I felt at peace. This was the moment I knew after years of mistakes, I finally had made the right choice.Along with knowing I made the right choice there were people I had to cut out of my life for the moment. There were plans I had to cancel. I had to come to terms with the choices I made for myself and believe that difficulties and challenges along the path we choose can be an important part of the project's overall meaning. 
Through my difficult moments, I found that my sense of self-reliance has expanded, and my ability to endure and keep the faith is stronger for having been tested. We are all capable of confronting and overcoming the obstacles in our path, and I believe this empowers us to dream still bigger dreams…However, when we find ourselves facing difficulties with a particular plan, project, or person…chances are we know already whether we are meant to continue on or let it go… We simply need to look within ourselves for the answer. Most of all trust your instincts.When an idea, plan or relationship is "meant to be", it comes back to us time and time again. You go forward when you know no matter what challenges arise, your still going to pursue it.

Our individual journeys take us into many unexpected situations where we encounter a wide variety of people—some quite like ourselves and some very different. Every person we meet can affect us profoundly, just as every situation we find ourselves in can teach us something new… 
When I was in Italy, I met wonderful people. I had amazing experiences, memories of running through fields of sunflowers…a sense of absolute freedom.I met a man there that truly helped me to believe that dreams are possible love is possible even under difficult circumstances, and most of all never to give up.The lessons I learned from him ended up being more valuable then actually pursing any type of romantic relationship with him.

Sometimes we have these experiences that we don't understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events. All that we have created in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences.Experiences that don't make sense, as well as any that we regret…are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as "good." 

I have found this is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do… In my own experience, it has been when I have been afraid, directionless or unsure that I have met someone who becomes an important friend, or I have an experience that changes how I see things in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don't quite make sense…remember that there may be some other reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having. 

It's been quite enlightening for me to look back on my past experiences with an eye and open heart to uncovering those pieces—the dreadful job that made me finally decide to move, and no longer be complacent; the relationships and patterns with men I couldn't understand or tolerate, but gave me the courage to change my life and not settle; the time spent living in a city and apartment I didn't really like that led me into a deeper relationship with myself. Remembering these past experiences helps restore faith in the present. Life seems to be full of these buried little treasures...

It sometimes requires "time" to allow ourselves to fully recuperate; it's then when we can finally appreciate our present moment in time…

A Happy healthy positive New Year to everyone…xx