I went out with Jackie and her flatmate tonight to Darling Harbor. We ate at this thai, type place with a huge Buddha in the middle of the room. I must say the food was unbelievable, but the company was even better. Jackie has been traveling all over and 4 years ago came to Australia to "find herself" and never left...her story entails leaving ireland because she wanted to do a certain type of architecture, more space clearing, and needed credentials she couldn't get in Ireland....she came to australia looking for one thing and found another. She has lived in the bush, the desert and experienced things most people really dont ever get a chance too in life...her firend chifley who she has introduced me too, who introduced me to the english program...has been lived in ashrams all over the world, specifically India and Bali, where he followed his guru. Now, he teaches and practices the art of meditation through clarivision and teaches english....

I cannot help but be utterly jealous of both of them. When Chief speaks I find myself not really listening, but always ready to ask my next question about how can I learn, when can I go to the secret temple in Bali, what guru can I use? He senses the anctipation of every question i'm about to ask...cuts me off at the turn and somehow keeps me silent. Pretty impressive I must say, as I've found it's difficult to get me quiet. I am jealous though. For so long I have been searching for a "spiritual teacher." I started with trauma work, then tried yoga, then read Geshe Michael Roach-tibetan heart yoga, I've read all the books, anyone who knows me...knows they come to my apartment and it is flooded with books, cds, buddism, reiki, massage therapy...I tell this to cheif secretly hoping he will say to me..."Ah, well because you have been searching, i'll introduce you to my guru, he will take you up the mountain, and you'll be set for life."...It doesn't work this way....Obviously he knows what I want, so does Jackie who has had formal training. It's just not my time, everything is falling into place, but its just not time. I'm angry! when is it time! When is it my time!? I want ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing they both will tell me is to go on my 21 days up the coast, get on the bus at 630am monday, and the rest will fall into place. After reading Eat, pray, love...In Italy we called the book..."Eat, Pray..Vaffancula"...(eat, pray, go f*** yourself) that woman made it sound so freakin easy! she obviously had connections...and money perhaps...and being a well-known author probably didn't hurt her situation either...

according to astrology when you turn 28 years old, your moons align...possibly i'm not explaining this correctly, but the day you were born the moons were a certain way, when you turn 28 years old, the moons align the same way they were the day you were born. this means that 28 is a year of change...and whatever happens in that 28th year for the next few years you will feel the consequences, rewards ect. While all of you quickly think about your year of 28... i'll tell you about mine. My roommate died the 85 year old judge, my grandpa died, i had 3 stress fractures a rotated hip, BUT completed the NYC marathon, I endured some bad relationships, lets see...one guy was afraid of muppets yes hand puppets (he was harmless though), one didnt find me attractive enough, and couldn't figure out how to control his mind?.. this hurt the second worse, as I understood him the most, because i can't control my mind either... one was just plain mean no better way to put it, and the other disappeared during a huge time of need this hurt the most, my dog jumped out a window and got hit by a cab-plate in her pelvis, I got layed off from my job, but did get another s***ty one, and I booked my trip to australia....28 was a crazy year....

So,, now I am in 29. No one has died, the dog is safe with mom and dad, I dont have a job at the moment, but thats OK, at least its not a job i hate, I am not injured, and I am celibate, and single, and finally in Australia. I turned 29 on May 29th...2 months so far...we are doing much better so far i'd say...

Past 6 months have taught me I need to be more patient. So I will get on the bus monday, and just go enjoy my 21 days...