I do in fact recall saying... "I really wanna go travelling... I wanna meet new people, see new things... And just get out of my comfort zone. I hate being too comfortable."

I'll eat my words next time. Swallow them. And poop them out into the sea, where they can never reach me again. 

It seems I've reached a new level of comfort. I'm stuck in a whirlwind of Queenstown, booze and BUNGY JUMPS. That's right folks. I only went and jumped off a sodding bridge! Moses too! I'm not sure we're working properly... I think our brains have malfunctioned, and have become jello. Fermenting jello. 

Yesterday I experienced the most nutty couple of minutes of my life. Me and Moses decided we'd book ourselves a nice, little bungy jump (seeing as we were in Queenstown)... Be rude not to!... Yeah, would be rude not to feel like you're Cheating Death!! Jumping off high arse bridge!! Sorry... I'm still hyped. 

We hop on this bus, happy days! 20min bus ride to this bridge. They whack on this video for us, explaining the creators of AJ Hackett Bungy Bridge. I can honestly say, I actually felt pretty cool after watching the vid. The guys at the centre were great. Real friendly dudes. We got weighed up... Then off we go with our bungy tickets... Towards THE BRIDGE OF DOOM. Which was in fact called Kawarau Bungy Bridge. 

We queued up... like happy little souls. This woman who was on the same bus as us, claimed to have done hand gliding and skydiving in the past. We were behind her in the queue. She began to crumble during her turn. We all hollered, gave her some encouragement. Her face said it all. She turned around and said she needed some time. 

Holy crap. If she can't do it? How were we gunna cope? Mo's number was called up before mine... "GO ON MO!!" I was tempted to Sparta kick him down there... (which had actually been done before, on request). Watching Moses jump off... I say 'Jump'... hopped off like a little seal, was an experience in itself. 

PLOP! 

He got splooshed. Head in water. CAPLOP. Dipped like a Dairylea Dunker mate!! 

He survived!! ... Oh f***. My turn. 

I remained fairly calm throughout this ordeal. Had a bit of banter with the Bungy lads. I did start to wonder...

"Just a standard towel wrapped round my legs then? Nothing fancy... Just a towel?"

"Yep. Think these ones were from 'The Warehouse'"

He laughed. I laughed. Then I looked down. And then I stopped laughing. 

What the actual f***?! This thing was big. Big drop. I gulp. My heart did a thing I never knew it could do... Squeezed dry it was. The blood was racing round my body like a Ferrari. 

"Alright Heather Cougar!" (They tried to make a joke of my name) ... "In 3, 2, 1... Bungy!!" 

"Wait! Wait! Am I supposed to be looking over there?" 

"Where ever you like, just jump!" 

"Holy s***..."

Thunderbirds are go!!! 

From the moment my feet left that platform... It was a CURSE PARTY. Never have I ever shouted so loud in my life, let alone cursing "OH MY f***ING GOD" as loud as humanly possible... 
I honestly couldn't describe to you how this 'boinger' made me feel... Adrenal glands were at the peak of exploding I think? I could not stop swearing. Nothing hurt. No pain at all. Just the strangest sensation. To which my body reacted to in an extremely vocal manner. 

The guys at the bottom were waiting patiently with a pole for me to grab hold of. Turned out to be a bloody mission trying to clutch this pole! Hanging upside down, eyes blurred, head throbbing (from shouting my brains out). Moses described these people as 'backwards fishermen'. 
 
I was so buzzing, that I ran up the hill to meet Moses. I was pumped! Forget speed or pills! Those guys just need a big, fat bungy jump! Would put em' straight for life! 

After purchasing some extremely amusing videos & pictures, receiving our T-shirt and Bungy certificate, we headed back to our chill out spots. 

Moving on to more crazy antics... Couple of nights prior to the Bungy, we decided to go out on the lash for some girl called Amy's birthday. We got boozed up in the hostel... Hiding our beverages like little squirrels with acorns (dry hostels turn out to be a little more entertaining). 
After me drunkenly telling all the people trying to sleep in my room that..."When I come back, I'm gunna make so much noise!! I'm waking all of you up!"... I don't think that's the most effective way of making friends... 

We headed out... Like an army of Wine and Beerions... Slaying down the streets of Queenstown. Hit this Bar called Loca? I think? It's a little while before I realise I hadn't actually met this birthday girl. We're all sitting round the table... I'm swaying, slightly... 

"When's this bird turning up then?" 

"I'm here..."

s***. I must've seemed the rudest person alive. So I bought her a drink like a nice, little traveller. Things got a bit weird after that... I danced... like a baboon. This had a knock on effect on the whole bar. Before we knew it, everyone was jamming out with us. Was so much fun. 

We then hopped over to the 'Find Bar'... Oh things definitely stepped up a notch. More drinks, more dancing. We spiced things up a bit. I decided I was bored of just dancing... So decided to mock a couple who were inappropriately grinding on one another... This proved to be quite entertaining for the others... So I carried on. 

We played a game... Nose Rub. Me, Moses and this kid called Tom, (who reminded us both of Matt Barrie!) Started to nominate poor, unfortunate souls on the dance floor... We had to dance-waddle up to them and rub our noses on their shoulder. This was hilarious. Moses ruined a potentially long term relationship, licked a couple of people too! He clearly was enjoying this game too much. Naughty Moses! I had to get a couple of barmen, and the bar lady... This game carried on for a while. It took a turn down 'Get out this Club' Avenue... when Tom was caught headbutting the light bulbs in the club , whilst we were dancing on the table or stage? I'm not sure what we were on. This huge Maori dude man handles him out the club. I couldn't stop laughing. 

The night didn't end there... Moses summed it up in a couple of texts... 

At the end, when we finally tumbled back to our hostel... I returned Mo's beers back to him (the ones I was carrying all night)... The night watch dude knew full well that Moses wasn't staying in the same hostel as me... After getting questioned a couple of times... Moses finally makes his way towards the exit. As he does this... Butter fingers get the better of him, and he drops his cans... one spraying in circles, out of control. 

"Leave NOW!"

"I'm sorry... bye bye bye bye...."

I was crying with laughter. 

Safe to say, it's been a very interesting couple of days... HahahaHahaha!!! 

Oh, almost forgot!! We saw the Hobbit!! First ones to see it! Midnight release in NZ! Doesn't get better than that! 

Mo's Texts to Me 

I can sum up tonight. LOL. When's this bird coming? Wet socks. It might be because I'm pissed and tired but you're a wonderful hugger. 

TEXT NO2

24 sneezes. Nose massage. Canadian beard. Hottest chips ever. Bad shoes. Lightbulb headbutt.