Hi kids, I'm back!

Straight back in to the story of my life…

I had two days of training for Alinta Energy, wowser. Unpaid as well. Super smart me like. So in I go on the Tuesday and there are 3 other guys there from my interview. One of them Steve was the only Australian he was a super cool legend - ex dive instructor had been living abroad for 25 years and had just came back here to Melbourne on my interview day he had long rocker hair and looked like Iggy Pop but today he had short hair and was a wee bit smarter looking as well as he looked 10 years younger after getting rid of the hair! He was mint anyway and complete entertainment for us all. Lovely fella and eccentric and smart! So we spent the first day of training going through all the energy information we might need, loadsa background stuff and information on rates etc, we had proper guidebooks n everything. It was proper classroom training I think there was around 15 of us but the man running it was quite fun and kept us engaged so it wasn't too bad to be honest (proper sales man) We were also given these amazing sales pitches (mine is on my Facebook page in my photos if you fancy a read) it was HUGE. It was also absolutely ridiculously written, basically at the end of every sentence you had to say 'makes sense yeah?' 'You understand yeah?' and 'yeah?' oh my Buddha it was terrible. I've since learned that people do actually say these things a lot over here. Not sure why though but never mind it's a fact of Melbourne yeah? We were sent home with homework, learn the script and read through your training material and get yourself familiar with the content. Fair enough.

I go home and obviously do anything other than learn my script; I go on Facebook, instagram, twitter. I text almost everyone I've ever met. I read a book. Oops. Well it was sooo boring and also did I mention how ridiculous it was? Super bad!! It was actually bulls***. I feel strongly about how bad it was so if you need to read it let me know and I will pass it on yeah?.

So the next day we basically had to practice our sales pitches all day, It was also the hottest day of the year so I was getting a wee bit pissed off about the fact I was missing out on a beach day for some bloody unpaid training. By this point me n this other Russian girl had our suspicions that our wages were not going to be anything like we were promised. So we started asking about the pay all day and we kept being told we would find out at the end of the day but we were getting more n more impatient cos we figured if we weren't getting a base wage we would never earn a penny doing this job - we had also seen the sales board which had shocking results so we were getting pretty annoyed as he was totally wasting our time. As we were unsure about the pay we hid our contracts so he couldn't take them until we knew about the pay, but at one point we were out of the training room for some other presentation we did and he had got them all - what a cheeky b*****!! I complained about us doing stupid practicing with each other in the room when it was flipping boiling outside so eventually we were allowed to do it in the car park haha. Classy or what? Trying to sell somebody cheaper energy bills whilst dodging cars was fun fun fun! Also the Russian hated the sun so was even more angry and was hiding in the shade; she was WHITE as a sheet. And I was like standing right in the middle as far away from all of the shadows as I am a total sunshine lover. So after this palava eventually it was like 30 mins to home time and he broke the bulls*** and finally told us we wouldn't be earning a penny unless we sold. Seriously. Some people on the board hadn't made a sale for 5 days which equals 5 days graft 9.30-6.30 with no earnings! Very bad times. He had been telling us that most people do like 10/12 a day. Ha! As if anyone even does that in a month! So I was furious and when we all left to go home I was well raging, the heat doesn't help the temper like. Me, Colly an Irish lad, Oz Steve and Russian walked up together pure furious and I was like no way can I go there tomorrow and do door to door for free I've already wasted 2 days away from a job hunt because of this training. So I was pretty mad like. Me n Colly agreed we wouldn't be going back and Steve said he would give it a whirl as he couldn't be arsed to look for another job and I don't think Russia was going back either, 2 of the other girls had already quit by this point so it was a bit mental. Basically Steve and probably two German girls would be going back there in the morning but they could hardly speak English anyways. So all the way back to flinders me n Colly ranted at each other then agreed to let the other know if we changed our mind and would actually go in the morning to give it a go. I went home in such a huff I decided I would go to Officeworks to buy the cheapest laptop I could find so I could commence my job hunt at home with no limited time (in library only get one hour at a time) so I got one for $240 brand-new and its teeny tiny and it's been a good investment as I could then apply for jobs all day long and spend more time looking for good ones instead of rushing through it all which is what I used to do at the library. I ended up going to Janine's to watch a movie that night I took wine and cider and decided we should get a bit drunk then go out as it was wed night which is good in turf bar but we ended up staying in, I got home at approx. 5am and text Colly explaining I definitely wouldn't be going to work as I had just go in! He had just done the same too haha Irish n Geordies are kindred spirits for definite.

So the next day instead of getting up and going to my volunteer work for door to door sales I have a lie in as I got in so late, then apply for tons of jobs online. I then go and meet Janine and we go for a nice shopping day where I purchase a few items of clothing from the DFO which is short for amazingly cheap as chips outlet shopping mall which is nothing like the royal quays kids it is amazing!! We then celebrate our bargains by going to Port Melbourne Beach which I love. We have a beach picnic kinda of sandwiches from 7/11 and crisps! We know how to party that's for sure, we then go back to Janine's so she can spruce up and then we go back to mine via the bottle shop where we are accosted by a drunken man from the bush - Darwin. He rides bulls for a living and smells like he ain't ever been washed and his teeth certainly ain't been cleaned and his wife just left him so he wants to buy us some expensive wine and some Alco pops. We eventually manage to do a runner with our cheap wine and get to mine so I can spruce up. We drink the wine which is lovely and then we head to an Irish bar a wee bit tipsy and then we attempt to get food there but we can't as its stopped serving as its after 9?! So we go to Ludlow where Janine works and we get some cheap drinks and some nice food there and some more drinks and we stagger home eventually! Good times indeed. There is a definite theme that when me n J9 get together we get a wee bit drunken!!

The next day is of course Friday which is one of my favourite days, I go out round the nice fancy street round where I live which has a lot of nice bars and restaurants on it and hand out my CV round some of them and I go into this Mexican which looks impressive it's called Taco Bills so I go in there and ask if they have jobs going and the bloke is like 'nope' so I start explaining my life story to him 'aw that's a shame because I just got to Australia 3 weeks ago and I am desperate for a job and I have my work travel visa etc.' I'm a good story teller right, and I'm really good at smiling so these tricks both impress him s*** loads I think and he instantly changes his mind and he's like 'ok well the manager will be in very soon and I think we can sort you out with some waitressing work and he will definitely ring you later on tonight' so I leave all happy with myself. So I go home start watching Neighbours on my amazing laptop and my phone rings and its Taco Bill, I can barely understand a word he says but basically it's like 'yes you need a job, you must come tonight to fill out a form and I must also bring someone with me who can be a kitchen hand/dishwasher and you must come asap' so I'm like who needs a job. So I text Joanne as her brother is looking for a new job as he is on the door to door sales trap bless him but with base pay which is very lucky to be fair! And I remember poor Irish Colly needs a job so I ring him and he agrees it sounds like a plan so I go and meet him at flinders as he has no idea where it is so off we head to Taco Bills so we get there fill out an application form which included the questions 'have you eaten Mexican food?' 'What is your favourite Mexican food?' best app form ever completed. So we wait for ages to speak to the manager and jus when he's ready we realised we hadn't even done the back of them! Ah well never mind. So they tell us we both start tomorrow night me 6pm and him 5.30pm. So we leave all like hell yeah we got jobs! Woohoo! We do mini victory dancing on the street n everything. So I go back home buzzing I have a job woohoo, he said he couldn't promise many hours but any hours are better than none. Sweet… yeah right.

The next day me, Kee, Tommo, Sarah and some of the others decided it was beach day but since I have to be back for work we go really early like 10am so we.re all sorted on Brighton Beach by 11am its lush and hot soo happy! I love beach days. Been there a whole of 1 hour when Taco Bill texts me saying we can't start tonight we'll have to start later on hopefully this next week. So I ring Colly and give him the bad news he's like me not too bothered as it's a lush day so now we can hit the pop! Sweet. So off we head for some beers it's about a 1hour round trip as its miles away as Brighton is posh so no bottle shops near the beach dammit. On my way back I stub my toe that I had already stubbed the other day on my way home from Janine's its soo painful and now it's bleeding again and I have to go on the beach great. I just love getting sand inside my toes… not! So anyways after the whole trek we made to Safeway the beer fridges weren't even on. So I take my warm cider back to the beach and drink them. Most of them lot are going out but me, Kee n Tommo go back to Tommo's instead to drink more at his and watch the Rugby and getting some pizza!! So all in all minus the job start a pretty good Saturday! And my tan was topped up!! Amazing!! Tommo got huge burns as we think he only put cream on his arms so his legs were bright red and he has proper shorts marks haha! On our way to his via Coles I recommended some lovely moisturising cream to stop him peeling and to calm the burn down.

Sunday and its Chinese New Year, I go to Southbank and discover its full of amazing stalls that are selling dim sims and noodles, things on sticks. They have lantern making stalls, and Feng Shui stalls. It is RAMMED full of people it's absolutely mental indeed I can't take it. I try to get to the DFO and struggle and then on my way back I get some lush dim sims in honour of Henry Wu cos he's a real Asian and I'm just a fake one. They are amazingly delicious and super cheap too so I end up getting enough for about 4 people when there is just me, I am so greedy!! I then go and meet Kee and Clayton and we head to the St Kilda festival woohoo, it's the last day of the festival and it's a DRY day. Why o why?! It's all this $100 on the spot fines if you get caught drinking on the street in the festival. Shameful. So we realise we can't do our usual park drink - I swear since coming here I've regressed to drinking in the park but it's much more acceptable here as its actually nice weather and we are all poor backpackers so everyone does it… it's not cos were too young to drink in real bars we just choose not too! So we end up going to Si's flat he lives with a lot of lovely Irish girls so we chill in there for a good few hours drinking beer and goon. We then finally hit the festival when it's dark and its super cold!! Bad crack indeed and I have a jumper on! Clayton and Johnny go on the reverse bungee swing thing and they say it was pure s***. It went up once and then basically came back to earth! It was only $30 which isn't bad for here to fair in Ibiza it was like 100euros I think although it did look way better there haha. Me n Kee then go and head to a bar where Sarah N works so she gives us some cheap drinks bless her and then we head home as we have work tomorrow morning, mine is a interview in a café called Barista Express in the city. Which I go to of course and it goes very well as I am such a damn charmer, he says I probably need a lot of training as I can't do coffee and my goodness the Australian folk are obsessed with their coffees! And they have so many diff types that I ain't even ever heard of!! Hilarious. So yes despite my training issues he says that I would get the waitressing job based on my award winning personality as I am a people person. As if! So he says he has other interviews but he'll def have me in for a trial on Thursday for a 4 hour shift to see how I impress him. So I leave there with a bigger than normal ego. And I head to hardware lane to canvass for other waitressing jobs, I end up talking my way into a trial at a place called Max's they say they don't need any staff but I tell the manager that's because he' doesn't know how good I am so he agrees I can do a trial the next night. I realise when I am in there that it appears only men work in there so I am quite excited about being the only female at work I think I would well get looked after. The manager and one of the waiters was also excited to hear I was a Geordie as they like people who can drink and that's a fact for sure. I then have another call centre job interview miles away in a place called Moorabbin. So I get the trek train over there it takes over 30 mins and when I get there I'm almost at the building when they call me and cancel my interview. So happy about that - GRRR. So I then end up having to wait 45 mins for my train back. How annoyed!!

That night me n Scouse Sarah realise we both have the same group interview tomorrow for a call centre so we're pretty happy about that. I love group interviews I have became amazing at them since my time here! Although I'm not sure I ever would have been bad at them I love talking my arse off about anything! I'm just like me mam!! So we go to the interview together and it sounds like a good little number for sure, it's all Monday to Friday and hours between 7-7 it's a 6 week contract and pays canny and chance to earn an extra $2 per hour for OTE. And in the interview some of the people just bang on for hours when they specifically say they don't want life stories. We keep our stuff short and sweet so we are pretty sure we are going to get these jobs hopefully fingers crossed!! I then go to Sarah's for a bit before my trial at Max's as she lives opposite the restaurant! When I do go there another girl turns up for a trial too at the same time what a disaster so they won't do both tonight so they ring the manager and he says send one home to come back tomorrow so I am told 'you can work tomorrow which is valentine's day' so I'm well annoyed goddammit. Not because I have a date like but so annoying as I'm here now. So I go back to Sarah's for a bit chatter then head home via Ludlow where good timing or what J9 has just clocked off so I have a few beverages with her and her work mates who are all lovely and it's a lush hot day so I well enjoy our nice evening drinks!

The next day is my trial at Barista Express, it is a lovely café and they do some amazingly good food there. It's right in the city on a posh street so all the rich business men are in there all day buying their coffees with $100 bills etc. I'm literally running round like a maniac for my full 4 hours shift I did really enjoy it though it was quite nice being a work weirdly and it was nice meeting actual Australians as I've hardly met any still. One of the nice business men there is telling me good luck all day as he's a proper regular and at one point he's like 'although I shouldn't be poaching their new staff, are you any good with kids as we need a new Au Pair' haha bless him. I explain I am not good with kids at all and if I lived with him he would inherit a new child to look after, he loved that though he was like 'aw that's a shame I think you would have been perfect' then one of the waitresses tells me he's a super millionaire and totally lovely fella. Dammit!! Why am I not an Au Pair!?! So after my shift I get paid $40 which is basically unheard of for trials so I am over the moon! He says he will get back to me and he knows I will need trained up but he thinks I might be worth a chance, he explains 2 other trials the next day but they are both very experienced and there are 2 jobs and 3 of us. So I tell him 'well they might have more experience but don't forget you ain't ever gonna get a smile like mine from anybody else' which he just loved. I swear the worse s*** you come out with the better everyone loves you for it. Haha I think everything must sound amazing over here if you have an English accent!! Not long after leaving my trial I get a phone call saying I have the call centre job I wanted and so does Sarah and we start Monday for 8 days of PAID training! Mental or what! We are so happy!!

So that night I head over to Max's restaurant again to be told no trials tonight as its valentine's day and they forgot and I will have to come back again tomorrow. Yeah right. So I go and meet Kee and Tommo who are having some sort of gay night out in a dumpling house, we then go for a few drinks in a bar that seems to be a strippers from the outside (our cheap beer app told us to go) but when we went in it was a really nice bar! We then went and drank super strength cider in another bar it was 8% scrumpy and it came in all flavours pear, apple, berries and they were all amazing!! Accidently it became hammered.com night out.

The next day despite the strong ass cider I get up pretty early and as its possibly my last work day off in a while I go to South Melbourne Beach as I'd not been there yet and the tram from my house goes straight there in 10 mins its amazingly hot!! I sleep, listen to music, eat and drink a whole lotta water then decide its way to hot to go back to that stupid max's restaurant so I don't go instead I just go back to sleep on the beach and chill out!! Perfect way to spend a Friday. I then head home and decide to have cider and pizza and when cooking my pizza I accidently somehow set the kitchen on fire… kinda anyways. I had accidently left some baking paper in the over and it caught alight which led to the great fire of number 33!! Ooh s***. Lucky I noticed the min it happened I think! I then hid all the evidence so Miki doesn't find out, I was also extremely grateful the fire sprinklers we have in the flat didn't go off as I'm not sure how I could have explained that… haha oh dear. Never a dull moment, even when I'm alone!!

one last job story here...

I was also offered a job in sales where i would be working in shopping malls trying to get the good people of Oz to give up their cash to donate to charity every month, some weird australian charity... I asked how much cash I would get and they said 'basically if you get someone to sign up to $20 a month donation you get 40% of that monthly figure... erm so basically i was going to be stealing from charity? I dont beleive I ever would have recieved this cash to be honest though so obviouslywith no base pay I did not accept. I think had an interview for a call centre and it was based in the same dodgy building as my door to door sales job which made me not go as the whole building was full of dodgy non real companies i thought! Australia has a lot of dodgy characters thats for sure!!

Anyway guys I think that's enough for one day I have well been rambling on… love n hugs xxxxxx