Ok, ignore the titles cause im obviously not in Auckland and ignore the fact that i said id only do this if i was bored. Im doing this cause ive got an hour to kill before i think i should get some sleep so this is volume one of \"complete and utter b******s\" LAST CALL FOR GATE 13 - that was my queue to run like the puppyless freak i am cause despite my fathers assurance that they wouldnt call my flight just yet and his insistence on buying me a pint to send me on my way, they did call my flight. So at this point i set off on what can only be described as a gallop and thankfully i made it just before they shut the gate. It was a bit like a scene from a film, except there wasn\'t a hot chick waiting at the other end for me to say \"don\'t get on that plane\". In fact it wasn\'t like any film ive ever seen so i dont know why i said that. So the plane is half empty and this got me thinking. Has the LA tourist industry taken something of a nose dive since the Fowler started shacking up with Igor? Also, what does it say about me that the word \"cockpit\" still makes me chuckle at age 25? The Brokeback Mountain film was on the plane. I did want to watch the gay film, well 60% of me did but i didnt in the end. My dad rates that in his top 5 all time films, maybe thats why he and Beryl are divorced. After deciding against watching Aeon Flux cause it stars Charlize Theron and she\'s just a poor man\'s Kirsty Ann Nel i plumped for \"Rumour has it\" staring Miss Aniston, who i love. Why on earth would the stewardess look surprised when i don\'t want champagne when im on a plane and its 5 in the afternoon? i just dont get it. To set the scene a little more im wearing my flying tights but i obviously couldn\'t get my correct size so they are actually so tight that it feels like my ankles are swelling up anyway. Ive also got ladders in my tights, it sucks doesn\'t it girls? Im also wearing new tracksuit bottoms and its just occured to me that they are shell suit esq. If you don\'t know what shell suits are then ask laffers, its in her heritage. In \'Rumour Has it\', Aniston and her bloke attempt to get into the mile high club. I went to the loo (alone) earlier and it got me thinking. Who is the tallest person to join the club? it must be impossible for tall people to do it. Maybe Leah you\'d know? That\'ll do, im just about ready to collapse.