Our trip to Paris began on the bus from Bordeaux at 11:30am. It was a b**** of a drive! We ended up getting into Paris after 10:00 at night. I some how managed to score the entire back row of seats to myself so I just kicked back and watched Les Miserable, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Family Guy along the way. I got my first glimpse of the Eiffel Tower as we were driving along the outskirts of Paris. I just about lost my s***. It kind of hit me then that we are in Europe which is maybe a bit strange since we've been gone for over a month now, but it's so iconic and I was actually looking at it. The Eiffel Tower. Not a photo or a drawing of the Eiffel Tower. The actual Eiffel Tower! It just, took my breath away. There's something about it that's so beautiful, and I was looking at it! It had a weird affect on me, because I felt like my head was going to actually pop with excitement. So, to prevent my head from popping, I cranked some 1D, Beyonce and Jaaaassooooonnnn Deeeruuuulllloooooo and crumped it out in the back seat. Brendan kept looking at me with his judgmental eyes, but that's because he's a hater. And haters gonna hate. On the bus ride in we passed a lot of Parisian monuments. We drove past the Louvre, Moulin Rouge, the hospital where Princess Diana passed away, the Opera house, the square where the guillotine used to stand back in the day and the love lock bridge just to name drop a few. Once we arrived at the drop off point, we had to walk to our hotel. The one we had been waiting for - Hotel Kuntz. Everyone was getting drunk along the river and there were people playing boules, but there wasn't a seedy feeling and we felt quite safe even though it was the middle of the night. Everyone was just having a good time. The closer we got to our hotel however, the less safe we felt. Pretty sure we stayed in the Bronx of Paris, but we made it to our hotel alive. We got a little lost, but we made a lot of c word puns to encourage us to get to the hotel. When we got into the room, our hearts shattered over the return of the body pillow.

We smashed our first day in Paris. This was the day that made me fall in love with the city. We woke up early and decided that the first thing we would do in Paris was visit a cemetery. We headed to Cimetiere Du Pere Lachaise and got lost straight away, because the place is massive. Brendan got impatient and asked a strange man drinking from a tap for directions which is always a great idea at a cemetery. Turns out it was, as he used to be grave digger and didn't kill us, but instead took us on a tour. We visited Oscar Wilde's tomb. People kiss it. It's odd. We got to know our new friend along the way, and he got to know us just as well. Brendan's name is now Bernard and he's very tired. Wake up Bernard was said a lot. Poor Bernard had a bad sleep. Our new friend also loved to sing, so we also scored a free concert of "come on baby light my fire" over and over. Just that one line. Come on baby light my fire Jim Morrison is a legend. Come on baby light my fire. That was the entire conversation for about 5 minutes. You think I'm exaggerating? Ask Bernard. So, we saw Jim Morrison's grave. Humble would probably be the word to describe it. It's really nothing special, considering there are people without the fame buried inside of massive tombs, and Jim Morrison's is just a normal grave.
After the cemetery, we hit up the Sacre Coeur. We didn't go inside, but we walked up all the stairs with our baguettes and looked out over all of Paris. The view is amazing, the amount of people trying to tie s*** to your wrists kind of ruins it. One guy lunged at Brendan while he was eating his baguette and I actually thought Brendan was going to kick his head clean off his body. He almost coped an elbow to the head. No one tries to tie s*** to Brendy, especially when he eats. After the Sacre Coeur we decided we would try and find an Aussie pub. We succeeded and walked through the streets of Paris to get there rather than catch the train. We had high hopes for some AFL when we got there. They were quickly crushed when we walked in the door, and were greeted by a game if rugby between New Zealand and Argentina. What? Of course we still had a couple of drinks and we headed off to make our way to the Eiffel Tower. :) <3 We decided to walk and on the way found a small street stall that sold berets. We got on that and looked like the biggest douches. But sexy douches in Paris so it was ok. On the way we walked over the love lock bridge, but I left my lock in the room which was a sad time. We also walked through the courtyard of the Louvre behind the sweetest old couple that were walking along holding hands and stopped for a kiss on the bridge. Aaaww it made my heart smile :) Brendan was like very nice now lets overtake them because they walk too slow and stop taking photos of them you creep. Hater. We made it to the Eiffel Tower and had a bit of time to kill before our night bike tour started, so we went to get some food. We could see a tiny tiny bit of the Eiffel Tower from our restaurant and I was so excited. After we ate, we bought Brendy a beer and looked for macaroons. We found some but there were bees all over them so we bailed.
Our bike tour started at 7 and it was amazing!! So worth it!! I started off so wobbly on the bike because I haven't ridden one in years, and was pretty anxious about riding a bike through the traffic in Paris, but now I want to buy a bike when we get home. I found my groove cycling around singing 'riding dirty' and 'independent woman'. Two cycle themed tunes.
Our first stop was Notre Dame. We rode for about 25 minutes before we reached it. After that, we rode over the bridge to a little shop for apparently the best ice cream in Paris. It was pretty kick ass. We sat on the edge of the bridge by the water, with Notre Dame behind us as the sun set and a guy was playing the accordion on the street and it hit me that we were actually in Paris. We hopped back onto our bikes and past another couple of sights before riding through the courtyard of the Louvre. There was a bride and groom getting their photos taken and it was just beautiful. The pyramids out the front are all lit up and it's really nice. After the Louvre we rode down along the Siene River and parked our bikes and hopped on a boat. We boated around the island in the middle of Paris with the Eiffel Tower sparkling behind us. Everyone was out drinking bottles of wine along the river and everyone was in such high spirits it was an amazing experience. Everyone was waving at the boat and one girl was peeing as we passed which was lovely. People were taking dance classes along the river and the whole night (besides for the peeing girl) made me fall in love with Paris. Once the boat docked, we rode back to the bike office along the river and the Eiffel Tower started to sparkle, it was such an awesome night.
We woke up in such a good mood and decided it was the day to conquer the Louvre. We headed in on the Metro again, and got off at a station that we thought took us outside of the Louvre, but instead took us underneath the pyramids. It's really cool down there and chilled. There are almost no lines as well and we waited in line for about 2 minutes compared to the estimated 2 hours, so that was a plus. The Louvre is awesome. Gigantic, but awesome. There's no way you can see it all in one day. We were in there for about 2 and a half hours and saw all the main things. Mona Lisa was pretty cool. Everyone keeps saying its tiny, so I expected something minuscule. It's a normal sized painting, I thought anyway. We saw Venus de Milo too - the non gummy version from the Simpsons. Brendy and I walked around trying to get away with touching what ever we could. Brendan groped a statues boob. That was pretty funny. And I licked a rock in the medieval section of the museum and it made my tongue go so dry. We left after that.
I went on a Parisian rampage trying to find a patisserie - which by the way, are everywhere when you don't want them, which is actually never. They're everywhere when Brendan doesn't let you eat macaroons!! So I decided we would not stop until I had macaroons in my freakishly tiny hands. Eventually we found one and it was like ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh heaven is a place on earth. I expected them to be crunchy but then they're soft and omg. Brendan made a deal with himself that once I had macaroons we had to go to an Irish pub, so I got a chocolate croissant and we were on our way. We just so happened to stumble in on the hurling finals. Both of us were like what the s*** is this game, it is amazing!! It's like a cross of lacrosse, rugby, soccer and every other sport known to man. It's so odd but so good. As it turned out, we caught the best game for 15 years according to all the Irish guys in there. It was a draw, meaning they play again in two weeks time. After leaving the Irish pub, we came across a French version of the TAB so naturally Brendan wanted to go in and we put €2 on a horse. We lost. Today I learnt that a French TAB is a scary place. I don't like it in there.
The next morning we woke up pumped to go to the catacombs. We ventured all the way there and couldn't find it. We walked around and around and it started to piss down with rain. We eventually found it and as it turns out, they are closed on a Monday. We went on a Monday. So, we decided to battle the rain and head to Notre Dame. By the time we got there we were drenched, even though we went by train. Inside of Notre Dame is amazing!! There are stain glass windows everywhere! It's so cool and there is so much detail in everything it's just like, wow. We didn't climb up the bell towers, so naturally we didn't come across the hunchback because that's where he lives. We went during prayer time so there was a little guy up the front in white saying French words about Jesus. I understood amen. That was about it.
We had to head back out into the rain and Brendy bought a Paris jumper to keep warm. I, however in all my wisdom, opted for the I <3 Paris t-shirt so I froze all day, until we went into KFC because I was like b****, I need some chicken. We headed back to the Irish pub after that in an attempt to dry off and get warm. The alcohol warmed us up which was nice of it to do that for us. Brendy wanted a kebab once we left the Irish pub, so I took it as my chance to have a Nutella crepe. Yeah dog. We took it easy that night and went back to the room for a nap. When we woke up we headed out into the Bronx and had kebabs from this small Turkish place. They were amazing! I was so scared in the Bronx so we headed back straight away and just hung out and watched some French pimp my ride because it has no story line to follow, and when that finished, turned it into our only English Channel on the TV - CNN.
It had to eventually happen, and we came to our final day in Paris. I was so sad. I love it so much, so we made the most of our day and set an alarm. We woke up early and headed to the catacombs again. We knew where it was this time and it was open! Hooray! But, of course there was a line. Boo. Once the line got moving, it didn't take too long to get in, but there is a maximum of 200 people allowed at any one time. As expected the catacombs are creepy. You just walk down passages and passages of bones. Some have patterns made of skulls. One wall had a heart of skulls which was morbid. It was a really cool experience but super eerie. From the catacombs we walked to the Eiffel Tower for our day bike tour. Along the way, we stopped at a patisserie, because when in France. The bike tour again, was really really good. This one was more about the history of France and we stopped a lot more to visit more sites which was cool. The tour went for four hours so we covered a fair bit of Paris. After the tour, we headed back towards the Louvre and saw the Arc De Triomphe from a distance. We headed back to the love lock bridge and left our mark in the form of a heart shaped lock bought off eBay from Korea. The sun was setting and the Eiffel Tower was in the distance, the Louvre was to the right and it was a really nice way to say Au Revior to Paris.