Next was the long coach journey from Queenstown to Christchurch via the spectacular Lake
Pukaki which was an electric blue colour due to a substance called rockflower. Also of note on that journey was a cracking pie that I had, they love their pies over here, could NZ and kev be a much better match!? In sunny Christchurch we arrived at tea time and so I just went for a wander around the botanical gardens with a felow future lawyer Jane who I had met on the bus. The conversation we had on the stroll was wide and varied from law, travels, family, and ex's to duck sex (which, so she said, takes the form of gang rape). Anyway an early pick up to Kaikoura awaited and so it was an early bed.

Alarm never went off the next morning and so I had a maniac 5 mins getting dressed and my bag packed. Not waht was needed. There were 10 of us due to be on the bus, a small but select group. I met Rich at the coach stop and he seemed cool and we were heading ion a similar journey which was good. I decided to book myself on the dolphin swimming trip in the afternoon followed by a lads fishing trip in the evening, which would be me, Rich and a legend called Chris, who was a booze-hound Sunderland fan, i sensed we would get on well.

Upon arriving at the dolphin encounter is where the day started to go awray. 3 hours out at sea on a boat in a wet suit, bloody cold and flipping windy, saw some dusky dolhins which was great but didn't get to swim with them bevause they were too sparse and it was breeding time...selfish b*****s. Then the fishing got cancelled because the sea was too choppy! But being a local hero the fisherman came down to se us to apologise and gave us two freshly caught and cooked crayfish, which were a local delicacy and worth 40 quid each in the local restaurant. Shortly after a filling beef nachos preparted by our driver Lauren the hostel owner showed us how to gut a crayfish to eat it, which he did with expert precision. For the next few hours we all bonded over a few drinks on the big deck (or big 'dick' as Lauren prounounced it in her kiwi accent).

The highlight of the evening turned out to be me gutting the second crayfish much to everyone's amusement and horror in equal measure. A better description would be that I butchered it with my samurai of a knife. I will never forget the feeling of shoving my fingers ina crayfish's guts and ripping it open, crayfish juice (for want of a better description) going everywhere. The night was rounded off in the TV room to the soundtrack of Chris's snoring.