Having lived with Deborah now for just over twenty (20) years, you'd think that I'd be aware of most of the quaint southern expressions, but having spent the past month here in Murfreesboro and had the opportunity to speak with some of the locals and shop keepers here in the area, I've decided that is simply not the case - there's just too many expressions in the local vernacular.

Over the last couple of weeks I've begun to chronicle some of the more colorful expressions and phrases that I've heard that seem to cover off everyday events. I want to be very specific here - these are not things I've heard around Keli & Joe's, but they did certainly have a hand in helping me put together such an extensive list.

Hope you enjoy these quaint southern expressions.

1. Light Bread - Store bought white bread.

2. Up and Under - As in it's "up and under" the porch.

3. Ain't that Nothin.

4. Well "Curdle my Hemorrhoids".

5. Mawnin - The early part of the day.

6. Orta - You "orta" not talk with your mouth full.

7. Retarred - Paw "retard" when he hit 95.

8. Saerdy - the 6th day of the week.

9. Agonna - I'm "agonna" get groceries tomorrow.

10. Bidnis - Mind your own "bidnis"

11. Bob War - A twisted wire studded with wire barbs.

12. Catty-Cornered - diagonal

13. Cuber - The island that surrounds Havana.

14. Edgy-Cational - As in "he's got smarts but not much education".

15. Goober - Peanut

16. Lawg - The tiny pieces that you cut trees up into.

17. b******s - Expressing disappointment.

18. Ball-Cockery - Suspicion of foul play or dishonesty.

And some of the great expressions that I've heard since coming to Tennessee are:

1. He's shakin like a hound dog s***tin peach pits.

2. I'm going to jerk a knot in your tail.

3. It's cold enough outside to freeze the balls off a pool table.

4. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

5. With those buck teeth she could eat a cob of corn through a picket fence.

6. Older than dirt.

7. That dog don't hunt - means it's a lie

8. Good enough to wanna make you smack your granny.

9. Flatter than a flitter.

10. Bout as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

11. She's as sharp as a bowling ball.

12. He's runnin around like a blind dog in a meat house.

13. It's colder than a witches tit in a brass bra lying face down in the snow.

14. She's as cute as a bugs ear.

15. Hungrier that a fat *****.

16. Crooked as a dog's hind leg - As in a roadway.

17. I'll be on you like a chicken on a june bug.

One of the other things that is kinda funny here in the south is the way people greet people each as they approach in cars. The sequence of events seems to happen quite quickly and seems to be determined by three distinct levels of recognition.

Level I - This is used for persons in any vehicle that you do not know closely. The hand signal here is a "one finger wave", usually the index finger of the right hand that is lifted off the steering wheel leaving the balance in contact with the wheel. Another important fact is that eye contact is not necessary under Level I.

Level II - This is used for men in trucks (this is important) or passing acquaintances. Level II is two fingers (index and middle) raised off the wheel with a slight rightward movement. Eye contact is still not necessary but if it's someone who lives close to you then eye contact is permissible.

Level III - This is the most familiar level and is usually restricted to close friends and eye contact MUST be established before the wave process begins. The wave process begins with the left hand grabbing the lower left quadrant of the steering wheel for safety purposes and then the right hand disengages completely from the wheel - all fingers and thumb straight up - palm out and all fingers make one right hand movement at the wrist.

Appendix - One important point here is that options I, II and III apply only to men-on-men interactions. In cases of women to women interaction - there is no requirement here to begin the wave process, unless it's friend - then you have the option for the full-wave as described in Level III above or stop the car, roll the window and chat for the next twenty minutes.

There are also lesser forms of greeting such as the NOD - this is reserved for younger men in trucks or older men in any vehicle may also use the nod to replace a level one greeting.

There is also the motorcycle wave, which is to remove the left hand from the handle bars and lower the arm, palm facing the on-coming rider in about the seven o'clock position until the pass has been completed.

Stay tuned for more observations as time goes buy. I'd like to thank Keli, Joe and Deborah for their assistance in preparing some of the details associated with this specific blog entry.