alreet, well from my last update. I had a nice wander round the beach of Hua Hin aka Blackpool of Thailand made friends with a few locals selling bracelets and sarong. I then saw a mad crazy galloping horse bombing down the beach and 4 Thai men tried to stop it and all failed and it eventually ran into loadsa deckchairs and seating in a beach bar haha loadsa angry Russian screams happened then!! I then went to the 7/11 to stock up on raisin bread and water. Kieran was meant to be arriving 12, which Thai time he reckoned about 2pm. he was pretty spot on, I was just having a nice snooze in the lovely sweat box I was staying in when I heard a motorbike in reception and I looked out the window and there he was arriving in style (not gangnam though as he hates it) I think he was massively impressed with the room for the night... the patana guest house was pretty expensive (like £3 a night) and the fan was amazingly good... for nothing! It was literally the hottest room I have ever experienced in Asia, and hua hin is some kind of heat trap and it never cools down ever, even at 12 midnight its still 40degrees! So anyway we went for a nice walk along the beach so I could show him the horses and the Russians (there were a lot there) they all hang our round the Hilton hotel looking super sexy and cool and of course oh so friendly. the sea is pretty dirty round this area but when we got further away from the Hilton it got quite lovely to be honest but there is so many jelly fish there I'm not sure I could go in the sea as I'm so bloody accident prone. I already had 1 close encounter with a jelly fish in koh samui and that was enough for me. Anyways we spent the day chilling out and having a wander and deciding that we would turn in to real flash packers the next day and stay in a hotel with a pool and aircon. This is a big thing for me as I like to stay in authentic backpacker rooms than are hot and dirty haha. I think the cold shower was a bit too much to bear in the guest house too and every time the shower was used it fell off the wall and broke so it was safer to move on before we got caught and had to pay for a new bathroom for them. on the night we ended up in go go girl street where I got to play my favourite Thailand game of 'spot the sex tourist' it's pretty easy in Hua Hin as it's like a more 90s version of Pattaya. All of the men appear to wear white pants there too as if to prove they really are cooler than rod Stewart. This was also the night when I quit chang!! I was starting to feel convinced it was drugging me and making me violently ill, so Kieran changed my beer to Leo beer which was nice and the next day I didn't feel like I was about to die (even though the room was BOILING) so Leo became my new beer of choice. He also told me chang beer isn't regulated so the percentage of 6.2% or whatever it claims to be is actually an estimate and it can be dead weak or way stronger than that. Which explains slightly why my life has been the hangover!! damn chang.

the next day we decided on going to the Amara resort as it had a pool and looked super cool and luxury so we got a tuk tuk there and wow when we arrived it was amazing. It had a real duvet, aircon, kitchen, fridge, and kettle!! It was mad how much stuff it had. the pool was soooo lush. after we checked in we went for some food as we were starving then we had a wander to figure out where we were from the beach and discovered we were about a 10/15 min walk to w**** street so it wasn't too bad. We weren't on the beach either which mean no Russians yey! We went back for a swim and the first we noticed on arrival at the sun loungers was that 2 sex tourist men were there wearing speedos and had their balls hanging out! Two separate men but at the same time. I was pretty convinced we were gonna get kicked out as Kieran didn't have speedos with him but luckily they didnt seem to notice. the pool was really warm and sooo lush. I'm so glad I was treated to a nice hotel for 2 nights!! The aircon was freeezing though and I insisted it was turned up to an acceptable level! Not used to the coldness of it all. even with 10 leos down my neck, We went to Angies Bistro one night for tea where it was ran by a lovely brummie man (when I say lovely I mean annoying) and his Thai bride 'Angie' although I don't believe that was her real name funnily enough. We went in there based on their sign that claimed 'real qualified chef' which is weird as I don't think anywhere else in Asia has that so we were straight in there. They did proper English food and Thai food so we went English as we were promised it would taste like home!! I got mash potato with some chicken and sauce and it was amazing!! So impressed. The only bad bit was that brummie then spoke to us for about 3 hours when we were trying to pay the bill. so so so annoying. He did say he loved Newcastle though; funnily enough he had no idea where hull was haha. He also used to work in Washington right next to me mam and dads house which I though was hilarious. I think he wanted to go home to England but couldn't blah blah blah he was so boring. We told him we wanted to go to phetcherburi and he was like 'aah its s***, don't waste your time'. We had already looked this place up and it has a temple full of real life monkeys and caves so we weren't really sure he'd heard of the place. I later decided he probably thought there was nothing there as there is no beach or hookers there but he obviously didn't realise I wasn't actually a real sex tourist. I'm actually a sex tourist spotter! We ended up in a bar called heaven which really did look like heaven, they had amazing comfy seat things to sit on which well impressed me as the seats in Asia are always very painful and when you wear skirts as short as me your legs always end up getting stuck to the chairs etc as no one has cushions. So to pick a bar or restaurant based on the chairs is pretty standard for me!! In heaven we got a free shot on arrival and we got told we could request any song from 'the book' this book had Jedward, Bryan McFadden and all sorts of amazing artists. We wrote down millions of songs and they put my Rolling Stones one on straight away then they put one of Keiran's songs on and then they ignored all of our other requests! But did put loadsa guns and roses on! How rude! We werent impressed by this we were totally ignored, until eventually they offered us games to play as they realised we were not sex tourists. Another night we were in a bar in Hua Hin and we got there just when the band were finishing and all these couples jumped up and started doing crazy strictly come dancing style auditions! That was very impressive!! They all looked very competitive!! In this bar we saw soon young girls sitting with a old man and we started getting really concerned about the sex tourist thing for real but luckily they ran off in the end and jumped in a tuk tuk so we left happy we hadn't seen anything too bad or left them there with him as he looked really weird.

the next day we slept in massively oops so we missed breakfast which is a major school boy error when you're a backpacker even when you're pretending to be a flash packer... we then went off for a wander round town to look for somewhere to have brunch lunch dinner thing, hours later we found somewhere open, literally everywhere had been shut for some reason! So we were staaarving by the time we made it, it was also sooo ridiculously hot again so we were dying to go back to the pool. We didn't manage to book our transport to Phetchuburi but we did figure out from my bible and google that the buses were every 20 mins and took 1 hour so we decided we would be up early to leave at 9ish… yeah right. That night we went out to a lovely Thai nanas house (practically) for tea, you could buy toys, knickers and talcum powder all whilst buying Thai soup. I had an amazing red Thai curry soup and it came with only 1 hair in it which is good going for Thailand. She was pretty old bless her socks she looked dead happy we enjoyed our tea. We then went to an amazing bar that had a live band on, then some drunk sex tourists came in and entertained us by being general drunk a*******s. We sat at the bar all night we made friends with the bar lady who kept telling us she had no boyfriend but she didn't know why. We think it was cos she appeared to have way to many teeth for her mouth. She also thought we were on our honeymoon haha. We then also got chatting to another English man and his Thai bride; he had been living in Thailand for 5 years with her. We told him we were going to phetchuburi and he seemed impressed, his Thai lady seemed happy too which is unusual so I quite liked him. I seemed to end up getting quite drunk in this bar and at one point we ended up posing on the Harley whom I can't really remember, but the photos prove it happened. Anyway next thing we know its 2am and its kick out time so off we went home and we promised to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon! anyways guys more later xxxx