Wanting to sample some of the crazier things on offer in Melaka we decided to have a massage, try some food stall delights and ride the ubiquitous trishaw. We had passed a Thai spa and massage and had promised ourselves a treat, I was interested in some reflexology and Paul wanted a repeat of his massage experience with the 'Sihanoukville pig strangler'. We got there as the shop was opening and so the muddled assistant hurried us to a curtained area, where I was given a top and large pants to change into and Paul was given some larger pants (Chinese style with a cloth tie around the waist). After lying down a bit confused, the assistant realised that I wanted just a foot reflexology and ushered me to the massage chairs in the front. Paul remained in the curtained area. Another assistant appeared to do my reflexology. First she gave my lower legs a massage, I say massage, but I mean a serious pounding. Despite the pain I lay there eyes closed. If I had been in a fight with someone and they had hurt me that much I would have begged them to stop. However, in a spa with gentle music; and as you are paying for it; and as it is supposed to be good for you etc. for some reason I just endured it! I wondered what tortures Paul was silently enduring behind the curtain.... My reflexology bit was much better and I only opened my eyes with a start when the reflexology bit was over and the masseuse was pushing my knee up to my body and leaning heavily on it. The grand finale was to put my hands on top of my head, contort her legs and arms around me and twist my upper torso until something clicked...so scary! Paul appeared from behind the curtain flushed and bedraggled. Paul's masseuse - who despite her demure smile - had elbows of steel that she used with frightening accuracy to pierce every muscle and sinew in his back....but he enjoyed every minute of it! He was also given the 'Giant Haystacks' treatment with similar brutality. Despite all of this we felt great on leaving and only £15 for the two of us for one hour of tenderising. Up for more adventure, Paul and I headed in the evening to Jonker Street to sample the bizarre food on offer. I had wanted to try durian - the smelly fruit - at some point and we had noticed a stall doing durian spring rolls. Rick Stein had described it as custard like in texture and taste, so I was intrigued. We took 3 for £1 (RM5). Well...it is sort of custard like and sweet but with an undetaste of onion and a smell of body odour. We forced down one and a half each - not pleasant and the spring roll was to repeat on us for the rest of the night! Next we saw some rectangular pork meat substance that looked like thin fried spam - it was called Loong Kee. We shared a bun with it on and it was delicious, the closest thing to a bacon butty that we have had for three months - result! Next radish cake - wok fried cubes of a lard-like substance with egg and a chilli and soy sauce. We got a tray of this and it was quite tasty, although the texture was a bit jelly-like and by now the Durian spring roll was back to haunt me. We needed a drink to keep things down now and opted for a mango snow ice drink - sickly sweet concoction made with powdered yoghurt, ice and mango syrup. On to the next delight - otak otak, described in Rough Guide as "fish mashed with coconut milk and chilli and cooked in a banana leaf" or in our experience a pink jellified tongue-like slice tasting of sour fish. We hurriedly bought a bottle of water to take the taste away. The food smells, the 28 degree heat of the night and the crowds of Jonker Street were not a great mix with this experience - not forgetting our ever present old friend the durian spring roll.... Still, there was more to sample - Yam coins! Tapioca and yams mashed together and moudled into coin shapes, these are cooked with garlic and chilli and a black fungus. Quite tasty, but the texture again was a bit offputting - a bit like gnocchi. Paul was excited about trying the octopus balls - a Japanese (Osaka) dish. It is like a profiterole with a soggy centre and a piece of cooked octupus in the middle. The food stall holder deftly spun the balls within little moulded trays (see photos) until cooked. Four balls were then boxed, squirted with chilli sauce and mayonnaise and topped with shavings of dried fish. Despite the description these were not bad - once we had scraped off the dried fish! Next we saw a guy deep-frying what looked like a piece of vegetable or fruit in batter. There was a queue so it might be good. We waited a while and despite asking for one were served a portion of five Goreng Campedak. We found a space on the steps of a nearby shop and tried our Campedak - oh God it must be durian again, but this time swimming in oil. We finished off the one we were eating and binned the rest. We later discovered that it wasn't durian at all but a cousin of Jackfruit used in curries....so strong was the psychological effect of the durian! Well we had had enough, but Paul wanted something he liked before we returned to the guesthouse, so he polished of a Melaka egg custard tart! I continued to sample the durian spring roll throughout the night!!!