A pretty regular day involving research, massage, Frisbee training, reggae and free buckets until the boys were sat at X's bar. Or should we call him AXE. We have now being here for around ten days and are friendly with the bar staff, but the stories we hear tonight will change our ways.

The bartender called X - lovely, friendly, upbeat, happy and amazing at connect 4.

Story 1

Last year, someone talked to a girl that he was after so he bottled them, Train Spotting style. Smashed it on the bar and rammed it upwards into some dudes face.

Story 2

A Thai gang fight kicked off a few years ago, so instead of fists, kicks, knives or knuckle dusters (the stuff you would kind of expect to see being used in such an event, most of which is sold in many shops on the high street) what is X's weapon of choice?! You guessed it, a four foot axe. He ran into the fight a hit someone with it in the shoulder blade, severing the guys arm.

This instantly made us avoid the man.

The fact that the local drunk, nicknamed 'Mumbleweed' due to her acrobatic forward rolls down the street ranting, was trying to seduce the lads also made us leave- mainly through fear and awkwardness. Another tropical shower began, this time some areas of the bar were 3 inches deep, so through panic of developing trench foot we made a dash home.

M & C xxxx