The bikini twister: Retaining ones dignity when travelling has certainly become a full-time job. From the 'Jesus Christ, I need the loo RIGHT now' dash through the restaurant, to the 'how do I pretend this sand isn't melting my feet' unflattering trot along the beach, there are many circumstances where, try as hard as you might, it is obvious to everyone around you that something uncomfortable and unbecoming is occurring. Of all the compromising situations we hav...

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's Debs diving onto a moving train: Having sensibly decided that a day train would be far cheaper than a taxi to our next destination (Kovalam - 5 hours down the south coast), we psyched ourselves up for the next leg. We arrived in good time, positioned ourselves strategically on the platform and waited for the beast to arrive. India does not queue and we were surprised there were no fatalities during the hustle and bustle of the...

Gin… you must be joking: Upon arrival in Kochi City, our first stop in Kerala, looking like 3 little feral children, we made our way to any hotel were a shower and bed could be provided and caught up on some much needed rest. The next day we headed to Vypeen, a smaller island located off the main land which lonely planet boasted as being a beautiful retreat… well yes, it is beautiful and certainly a retreat if you are a t-total recluse. Everywhere shuts-up sh...

This is not the Hogwarts express: Having been kindly taken to the train station by Shaan at midnight for the next 15 hour leg of our journey down south, we anxiously awaited the arrival of the sleeper train on platform 9¾. What arrived was a giant, noisy, smelly, Slumdog Millionaire train that spluttered its way into the station and left us feeling more than apprehensive about the night ahead. We embarked and, in the pitch black, tried to locate our 3 bunk beds ...

Peace in Patnem: After our hectic couple of nights with the boys in Agonda it was a welcome change to make our way to Patnem for a few relaxing days on the beach. Having decided that this time we would haggle our way to better priced accommodation, Debs and I set forth onto the beach, leaving Rach in a café with the bags. Two seconds later, and with feet that had literally been scorched to cinders on the sand, we settled for Tantra beach huts and haggled our way...