So I finally arrive in Bangkok it taken along time and we ended up delaying in the sky somehow - maybe the pilot got lost... but we're an hour late anyways. So I get on the wifi waiting for my stamp in to see where Rob is as he was meant to be landing around same time as me, no messages from him but I can see he's been online since landing so I message him. I wait for my bag. And wait. And wait. It's literally the last one out - no wonder since It was probs the first one on as it got checked in from Auckland and I did a good few hours in Melbs airport! So still no sign of Rob so I get a taxi to D&D my home in Bangkok. My taxi driver is so cute. He's telling me all the Farang (white people) love Bangkok. He tells me its a government festival in a week which will be street parties and tons of food which is a shame as I will def miss that and I do love a party. I finally get to Khao San Road and off I go, I get the card to our room and as I'm knocking on the door I hear Rob behind me - yey!! So good to see him!! Its been way over 6 months since I last saw him. So we hug it out in the corridor then get inside our room. It turns out Rob has no backpack yet as India where he's just been have given it away to the poor children... or just lost it. So we chat s*** for ages both looking tired from our journeys we agree we need showers and beers before we play out so we hit the 7/11 for Chang and general s*** we need and we drink them in the room while getting sorted I end up dropping one of mine half full too it smashed everywhere oops!! And we finally go out! We go straight to my favourite bar - the no ID required and very strong cocktail bar. What a name. We get a bucket of Sangsom and the night becomes a blur. Quite early on into our bucket a guy is selling scorpions so I instantly buy 2 one for each of us as I think Rob needs to fully introduced to Thailand. He seems horrified but more so because his scorpion is all deformed haha. We eat them and they are just lovely and we make friends with a german guy called Jeffrey who I feel definitely wants more than friendship from Rob haha such a gay icon!! We make him also eat a scorpion to join the club and he's very much against it until we show him our scorpion selfies and suddenly he is game! We all end up dancing out on the street outside a tailors which is hilarious this is why I love Asia always so random but so much fun. We then try to go clubbing but its too late?!

We head to Khao San Centre bar which apparently never shuts so we're there partying away drinking Chang. We are both pretty drunk but with me being a tough northern bird I can handle mind more than him and he is hiccuping like mad, holding his mouth and just not speaking to anyone. He puts his name on the blackboard to play pool where some thai ladies are playing (potential ladyboys) then this white guy (I cant remember where hes from but its not UK amazingly hes aussie or american) starts being really rude to the Thai Ladies. So I kick off and have a few words to peg him down a step. Cheeky b*****, show some respect to the locals. He tells me he lives here. So Obviously my reply to that is 'why does that mean you can be so rude to people?' what a dickhead. He then tells another guy he lives in Spain. Such a jerk he really winds me up I hate people who think they can come all the way to Thailand to disrespect people, well sunshine not on my watch. Me and Rob are severely w***ered so we head home via McDonalds where we dont know how much money we have for food so we order what we want and then I just hand her loads of money and she gives me tons of change back - sucess! We then eat our burgers in bed which to be honest is one of the best things to do ever! Rob literally is crashed out on his bed before I've even ate my fries. During the course of the night we've already decided to stay another night purely because we cant be arsed to move again yet!

In the morning we pay for our room extension at the last second as we are both wrecked, I go do my aussie visa application and he has a wander round. Then we go for a bit of a wander later round the markets and we end up stopping for a cocktail. They are amazing, we of course have more than one - standard. We then head for a bit of food and we have a lot of beers with our dinner. Then we have a few more after our dinner so we go back to get ready to go out. I decide I'll just rest my eyes for 5 minutes... I wake up and its like 3.30am.... oh dear. Rob is always crashed out, the light is still on too! So i go back to bed again haha such rock and rollers!!

We have booked to go Koh Phi Phi the next day so our bus leaves at 6pm so we have a few hours to kill so we hang by the pool in the hotel then go and get some food before we get on the bus. Of course we booked the bus from miles away (kind of) and our bags are so heavy so we are dying by the time we get there. We end up having time for a quick Leo before the bus man turns up. Unfortunately we then have to do a huge walk to the bus stop. The worst thing about backpacking is seriously the backpack!! What a nightmare. Carrying 16kg on your back when its the hottest its ever been in bangkok ever according to some Thai fella we spoke to... Sweaty is not even the word.

So after a loong trip to Koh Phi Phi we arrive wahey! And we get off the boat and follow the worst directions known to man to find the hostel we've booked. We end up asking a guy from a dive shop on the way and he points us in the right direction by the time we've fought the crowds and get there we've already decided to stay there for the next 3 nights no matter how s*** it is just so we dont need to move again haha seriously hating the backpack this time round but this time mine is so much heavier than usual as I'm coming home I need to bring some clothes suitable to wear there and shorts and beer vests probably wont cut it! I also have heels in my backpack for when I play out at home as I dont know what I even have at home now but I'm pretty sure its not a lot!

We check in and there is two beautiful blonde dutch girls in our dorm, they definitely think we're the oldest people they've ever met - probably older than their parents... they've been backpacking for 4 months - they're 18! Scary thought! I'm discussing my love for Cambodia with them and they agree so I ask did they visit Kampot as its my favourite place there and they say 'yeah but we didnt like it - we can see why older people would though...' hahaha Oh my fricking buddha! As if they just did that!! Bloody Kids!! Na they're nice girls actually but it was hilarious!!

But anyways in the course of my travels to Koh Phi Phi starting from NZ my feet have swelled up, so annoying they were bad in Bangkok then a 18 hour bus journey obviously didnt help my situation so I head to the pharmacy to demand drugs for this as its not good. She has not but sends me elsewhere and where I end up the nice pharmacy lady gives me something to make them smaller. I ask if I should get electrolytes but she says no. I assume she's giving me duiretics which do something to do with salt in your body - take out the excess salt which i think is what causes my fat feet and ankles. But she says take 1/2 a tablet a day so I decide to double dose and just do a full one a day as its teeny and I have to leave again soon. So I sleep with my feet elevated and take my tablets and they get better. This is a sure sign of old age!!!

We head to find the beach and its obviously gorgeous with a lot of longtail boats all lined up soit looks soo Thai. Lovely white sand too. I fall asleep about 2 minutes after lying down so Rob goes for a few beers without me. That night is chilled and we eat then end up going to watch live Muay Thai boxing in a bar. Its not proffesionals but tourists fighting tourists its very entertaining and we get well into it and picking sides and screaming support at them its pretty cool. Rob and the ref try to make me fight this fat girl but I refuse my boxing career ended in Queenstown at Thriller in the Chiller! This girl then smashes the life out of the girl she ends up fighting its so brutal she's like Rocky! Rob is convinced he's gonna fight tomorrow night, in the middle of one of the fights the ref actually gets stuck in the corner and hit and he goes down its so bad!! shame on the lad that did that!!

In the morning we are up so early as we are going to 'THE BEACH' so exciting. I've been to Maya Bay before but its stunning so I'm excited and I love a long boat trip as they get well rough sometimes. We do some good swimming and snorkle stops which is cool the water is so clear and pretty and the fish are amazing!! So many tropical fish its insane!! When we get to the beach its like a Gangnam Style video remake. Literally Asian's everywhere. Infact its just rammed full of a million people. We manage to get pictures so it looks like we're the only people there but in reality its mental how many people are there!! Its so loud and buzzing. When we're posing for photos an Asian lady takes a shine to Rob and is photographing whilst he is unaware. She ends up asking him for a photo with him! They just love his ginger hair, or they thing its Ron Weasley perhaps...? Random!

On the way back we stop at my least favourite place in the whole wide world 'Monkey Island' which is of course an island full of monkeys. Sick. A few years ago when I was here the boat men were all full of warnings 'be careful - monkey dangerous' 'dont feed monkey, money will kill you' now its like they think if you cant beat em join em. And the boat men were throwing food at them, giving them drinks, giving the boat passengers fruit to feed them with. They're literally throwing them all the food in the world. In Africa the kids have nothing, in Monkey Island the monkeys have f***ing everything. I'm hugely against the feeding of wild animals especially ones that are so agressive. I absolutely hate this s***, this is why monkeys are so bloody dangerous these days because all these uneducated people are feeding them. Its a fundamental no no. No good will ever come from feeding a monkey in Thailand so you get a nice, cute picture. Its so ignorant that humans are so happy to go along with this without a thought in the world for. For one the area on monkey island is filthy with rubbish, the sea around the island is full of rubbish and its all from what people are feeding them. Because funnily enough they might be able to drink your can of coke but they dont exactly have a recycling system in place cos they're f***ing monkeys. You're feeding animals that have food in the trees for them to eat food out of your pocket but you wont consider helping the starving kids in the world. Makes no sense to me. Its a shame that society has became so photo obssessed to get the best pictures for their friends. Well I can honestly say I will never be impressed by any of your feeding a monkey picture. Its going to lead to them attacking humans more frequently - they already attack alot of people each year this number is definitely on the rise. Having nearly being attacked by monkeys in the past I know how vicisious they are. Stupid people.

So that night we decide is a night to party hard, so we have dinner playing 'Never I have I ever' and then we go straight into the beer pong bar. But the beer is really expensive, its more than you'd pay for a beer in Christchurch!!??!! so we get a sangsom bucket instead - thai whiskey pong is the game we're playing!! It's like 8.30pm this is a bad way to start the night! Sangsom buckets are mixed with M120 which is thai red bull. its like a million times stronger than normal red bull so its pretty hardcore - basically rocket fuel, it knocks your socks off. So just imagine the effect of drinking this while playing beer pong! Rob is in the good end located directly next to the aircon and fans. And me? I am basically out in the street with no fans or aircon just getting the outside humid sticky 32 degree air... I am to put it mildly sweating my t*** off. There is literally sweat running down my neck, forehead and back all night under pressure and after downing 3 cups I am definitely wasted and there's 3 more to go. However after a long game I manage to win as of course I am beer pong champion. Go me. Rob demands a rematch - I almost cry! He gets us some chang to play with so that is mixed with the remainder of the thai whiskey bucket so double potent now! Of course I win this game too I am the champion, Rob is gutted!! It did take forever and I now smell like I've never had a shower since 1999 but it was worth it!! I refuse to play more and we head back for more Muay Thai Boxing as I really want Rob to fight especially now he's blitzed. Unfortunately no one will fight him, he asks 2 old men too such a shame!! We meet a couple a kiwi guy and a english girl they pursuade us to play beer pong against them so off we go me and Rob vs them two. I'm pretty sure we get more Thai Whiskey but to be perfectly honest I have no idea what we're drinking by this point - whoops. I think I could have been drinking pints of bloody by this point and I wouldnt have noticed.

The couple are getting beaten from us pretty quickly and they dont like it and the lad is proper kicking off at his girlfriend its mental, we obviously win - beer pong champion for life me even when smashed I can pull it out the bag! The bloke pisses off and leaves his lass with us so we look after her and get to get some shots in and we have a good few of them and she decides she wants to stay at ours tonight as she's proper scared of him. She's like 21 - what are these kids doing with these dickhead boys? Its crazy! She's kinda desperate to look for him anyways and we're kinda avoiding going to find him as I cant be doing with this drama, so we end up meeting a glaswegian guy who I swear I cannot understand at all, I'm usually fine with proper scottish but not this bloke! He demands we get some shots in and I tell Rob after this I'm going home. The girl has gone missing by this point so we do the shots and I head home and I am absolutely gutted to discover there is no pizza man open! So I go to the 7/11 and get myself a cheese and ham toastie with egg! Its a new flavour - well done asia always pulling it out the bag just when you think it cant get any better it does! I also remember a conversation with a guy in the 7/11 discussing waking up hungover and starving so we buy cake to eat in the morning too. So in the morning I wake up dying of hunger and thirsty and I go in my bag to check my phone and I have a banana muffin in there OMG!! Best day ever!! Rob it appears slept outside last night as he didnt have his key to get in and it turns out he was in hospital during the night as that mad kiwi bloke jumped out of a window decapitating his arm or something so Rob ended up going to hospital with his gf to find out the crack and when he was there a bloke cracked on to him again hahaha! The tales of holidaying with a gay icon. He says he slept outside now I'm not so sure!!

So I get up and go for pizza for my breakfast at 1pm and Rob stays in bed. Some posh backpackers check in to our dorm and they will absolutey not get an overnight bus anywhere. Some backpackers they are... I have images of them doing video conferencing with their pals back home explaining how they're seeing so much poverty and poor people and that will just be me and Rob and not the Thai people at all. They seem extremely sheltered - definitely went to the same school as Prince William!

So its mine and Robs last night we're just having a nice chilled night, he's watching the footy and pretending to listen to me - such a man for a gay icon, its been so nice to have a sherwood reunion in Thailand though! He was one of my favourites from QT so its been absolutely wicked catching up and he's gonna be going to oz after Asia to so will def catch him there too which is good news. Most of our Sherwood crew will be in Oz actually but all spread out everywhere! We head back to pack and sort our s*** out - Rob leaves early but lucky me I dont leave until about 3 so i have all morning to bake on the beach which is exactly what I do obviously. Reading on the beach is how I know when I'm super relaxed its the most peaceful thing I can be doing!!

I then get my stuff shower despite the fact the way to the ferry is gonna have me caked in sweat again, Phi Phi was cool but definitely not somewhere I will ever go again. Its just wrecked in terms of it being a nice Thai resort. Its a proper party island and I'm so over that part of Thailand. I like a nice chill out place these days where I can have a few beers but cannot be arsed to be partying all night surrounded by the kids. Getting old for sure haha. Kinda gutted I've not went to Koh Tao as I always go there when visiting Thailand as its my ultimate best part of the country but not enough time here this time to do much!

Halfway on my way to bangkok on the bus a big fat smelly man gets on... he of course sits next to me - happy days he stinks so bad its gross. I know I smell bad right now but this is not just sweat its just vile. Urgh. He's from Austria we have a wee chat as neither of us can sleep. He's so loud! He tells me he did a 2 day bus ride from Singapore via Malaysia to get to Bangkok as it was cheaper than flying. Jesus mate I dont think a 50 hour odd bus ride to save myself a tenner is ever gonna be worth it!! What a nutter. The flights really arent that much I cant understand who he was flying with but I bet he paid more in the end bussing it!! He has saw a lot of world anyways so we chat about our travels. He's a tour guide and takes old sick people on holiday basically. Fair play to him, I couldnt be dealing with that I dont think! no way!! But he tells me he has been to Newcastle Upon Tyne and he loves it! which is awesome to hear haha I love it when people have been to my home and they love it when I have been to theirs. He tells me I absolutely must visit Vienna to go to some free festival in the summer in island on the lake/river which is in June time - one for the bucket list maybe.

I get to Bangkok at 5.30am so tired, disorientated and a mess. I find my way to Khao San Road its a 5 minute walk so I reject the offers of tuk tuks. I get to D&D's and pray they let me check in - amazingly I can at 6am so I grab a pot noodle from the 7/11 as I have a terrible sore throat from all this evil aircon and ignoring all the cockroaches crawling around the hot water stand make it up and head back to D&D's to await check in. I'm feeling so asian right now with my spiciest pot noodle and so happy!!

So I sleep for hours then get up and decide to head for some street food I just grab some fried rice with egg in this sweet lil street food cafe, some rude lady in there keeps sending her food back saying she doesnt like it for some reason. eventually poor chef cant take any more and he kicks off at her saying no he isnt making her a new one shes had 2 already now and he's making what she asked for and shes like 'but I no like spicy' and apparently she's ordered the hottest thing on the menu so he aint happy. Shame on her I hate people being rude to the Thai people cos they're nice people just getting on with life, like show some respect pet you wouldnt get away with that in Newcastle. There's a way to send food back and its not like that. And also when the dishes here are about 20p you wouldnt send it back any way you'd just order something else if you didnt like it. The chef knows I agree with him so when I leave he is all bowing at me and thanking me so much for coming to his cafe. What an absolute sweetie!! This is why I love the Thai people.

So on my wanders a huge storm hits bangkok and it rains and rains and rains all bloody day so I cant go anywhere!! nightmare! I just wanted to chill by the pool so rude!! I spend my day in bed watching peep show drinking water - so rock and roll!! I manage to skype Jordan which is lush, its so lovely to see his face and hear his voice I am missing him loads - I've turned into such a sap what is happening to me!? We've decided to meet in Bali now when I get back to Asia from home, he's booked a flight there from NZ so we get there the day before his birthday and hopefuylly we'll be able to afford to stay there for mine too. We just wanna live on the beach in the Gili Islands like a pair of island hippies. It'll be nice for us to reunite there anyways and have a bit of a holiday before we hit Oz and have to work our asses off!! We've had more holidays than some people who've been together for years in just the few months we've been together haha I def have found a good match there! He's all about the hippy life and living life!! So Indonesia watch out, we're coming for ya!!

So i think thats enough rambling I'm off to Singapore next how exciting... xxxxxxxxxxxx