I've arrived in Singapore, I make the journey to my hostel its cool its sweet, I go to my room with my bedding - as if they dont make your beds here... whatever. There is f***ing cockroaches on my bed. Seriously. Why me. I am so tired up in Bangkok at the crack of dawn today to get here I just want to lie down and take a nap but now I cant cos there is cockroaches on my bed. I feel violently ill. A bit dramatic but come on there's cockroaches on my bed I cant deal with this right now! Also my room is hotter than an oven, apparently the aircon only comes on at 7pm... wtf. Singapore is one of the sweatiest places known to man and woman. So I'm just lying on my bed covered in sweat with the cockroaches. Seriously could my life be any more glamourous right now? didnt think so....

So i head out for noodle wanton soup - amazing and so cheap. I love Singapore the food is epicly cheap and beautiful. I'm offered a million skin whitening treatments as I'm too brown, offered age defying treatments as I'm looking too old and offered slimming treatments as I'm also too fat. Well that was just a whole load of compliments for me. I decline them all. I will continue looking old, fat and brown thanks! I discover one of the hawker centres does pig organ soup... mmm. The best thing this hostel can offer me free breakfast hell yes all the toast in the world, chocolate cereal and tea!! I decide to go shopping on the hunt for cotton on, I walk as i'm hardcore and I have time to kill and its like 15 mins away which apparently no one should ever walk for that long here... I break the bank and get myself a bracelet and a beach bag spending $4 haha I'm such a tight arse.

I head to the Singapore Flyer as I dont remember if I saw it last time, so I see that then head back. I do of course indulge in a lovely duck rice set which include soup and greens. God its good! But the duck is cold - weird. Its so cheap and delicious though. I end up going for some korean bubble tea before I go back to the hostel purely cos I want to sit in aircon. I get honey and Lemon iced tea with black pearl. OMG its so good!! So my ankles'/feet are now back to normal good job! but I'm in agony with my throat now convinced tonsilitis is on the way and my nose wont stop running its a nightmare. Everytime I sneeze the Singaporeans look at me like I have Ebola... haha its quite funny in some ways but in others I feel I'm about to be deported for this issue of mine. Its definitely off the aircon rooms some hostels just get freezing its crazy. I'm all about the fan room me. I spend some time chatting to guy in my room who has been to Philippines he says its so expensive! He tells me he was just in Indonesia and did a 4 day boat trip to Flores to see the comodo dragon but he said it was all inclusive, best snorkleing in the world hes ever done including swimming with mantra rays and you see pink beach/lake something pink anyways and he saw tons of comodo dragons and all of this for like 100 quid so I well want me and Jordon to do this now when we go there money dependant! Sounds right up our street!!

So I wrote my notes to this when I was on the flight to the philippines, I felt a little scared to be honest cos of whats just happened. Seems to be so much s***g going down these days with planes I dont like it! Especially when the Co-Pilot did it on purpose!! what a sicko!! So this flight is shaky as hell Its a bit freaky to be honest! I do love Singapore airport though, Sunflower Garden, free movies, the M&M shop and you can send selfie e cards so I sent one to Jordan what a lucky lad...

So I land unscathed thank Buddha and we get off the plane have to queue about 30 mins outside waiting to get in the airport in the blazing sunshine haha standard. We go through the Ebola checks a guy on the plane actually had a thermometor gun and was shooting us all on the way off. I filled the form out saying yes I do have the symptoms of ebola but not all of them... they dont seem concerned as luckily I've been in NZm, Thailand and Singapore and not Africa. I have to get a mini van to the other side of the island through the jungles and little villages to get to the port where I then get a ferry and finally another mini van then I finally arrive at MNL my hostel. Jen a fellow northerner approaches me on check in she can tell I'm from the north - or irish as she tells me later. So I get sorted and off we go out for some food and a few beers with a korean girl called Heppy/Hippy or Happy or none of them I dont know, she was very sweet but also quiet apart from when we were taking selfies haha. Me and Jen kind of went off on a massive norther banter thing though and were probably talking a hundred miles an hour. She is so similar to me it was wicked. we ended up spending 5 days with each other and I feel like I've known her 5 years already! She's on her way to NZ for the year too I so wish I was going back again now! But she has said she will visit me in oz so that would be sweet.

So the first night we had a few local beers red horse its danger beer so strong and mental. Its 6.9% so def strong. We have food then go to beach and watch a band playing where we have many beers! Its a good night it ends up being quite a late one. We go back to the hostel to sit upstairs on the rooftop but end up meeting more people and then we go back out and end up sitting on the beach with some local kids singing the beatles with a guitar its so sweet they think we're famous maybe its super cute! Me and Jen are sitting there pissed as like should we go home haha it was about 4! The next day I miss breakfast funnily enough I am only awake infact when someone from the hostel insists I move rooms its lunch time! so I stagger to the beach closest to ours which is a kite surfing beach Its so lovely!! White sand proper waves. I'm eating bakery food and get surrounded by 4 of the most lovely dogs whose owner is taking them for a walk you can tell they arent scabby street dogs. They are lush!

My time here is all blurred as me and Jen kept spending our days on the beach then deciding to have a quiet night but then getting sucked into happy hour beers at 4 every night when we would actually be on the way home for a nap and shower before coming out. But instead we'd stay there watching sunset in bars with beers or cocktails or on the beach front with cocktail takeaways! happy days! literally the best sunset there every night of the week!! such a lovely place but so so so touristy! Probably one of the most touristy places I've been since the east coast in oz! Crazy! Some places on the beach charge more for food than NZ too which is just mental.

One night we ended up being really chilled and going back to hostel at about 10pm and deciding to go to the rooftop just for a bit but we ended up playing cards for hours with an aussie girl and a british guy then eventually a swedish guy and a indian guy joined us so we ended up there for hours it was cool though. The indian guy was so funny being all tactical and we were playing s***head and he wouldnt say the word s***head haha! it was funny!! Sometimes there is nothing nicer than just playing cards and chilling out.

We spend a good few nights attempting to go to the Hobbit bar where only midgets/dwarfs work... we kept missing it but one night we went early and made it. Its kind of awkward but its so funny there because they actually work there. We got them to pose for photos.Jen made them hold her pigtails up haha!! What a legend. We were with a guy Andrew at this point and he just seemed a bit embarrassed haha it was pretty funny! He's like 6 foot and I really wanted him to get a picture with them too but he was having none of it!!

Another time we did the whole happy hour thing we were a bit tipsy we'd had a few cocktails watching sunset and were heading home but ended up going in a bar because we both needed wee's... classy birds. So Jen goes straight there I get the beers in and start chatting to a guy at the bar. He's called Patch. He has a eye patch he looks like an actual pirate for real. He looks so cool he has the facial hair to match his pirate look. He's an aussie and full of wicked crack he is so funny. Entertains us with stories of all sorts, we have about 3 killer beers here. By the end we find out he has a Filipino adopted wife... she's called Anita and is popping in and out to see him its so funny I think she's a bit jealous we're chatting to him but of course we arent interested in him he's about 60!! She claims to be 28. No way is she younger than us we think at least 38! She's sweet though and keeps popping off for henna tattoos which are huge here for some reason. She actually has Patch Loves Anita on her boob. Oh Dear. So anyways we are smashed and I think I've ran out of cash - story of my life so we're heading back so we decide to get a few group shots before we leave as these guys are awesome we're telling Patch to marry Anita. Next thing I look at Jen and she is wearing the eye patch!! haha this girl is something else!! She says she just asked to see what was underneath. And then went that little step further haha. So we get back to the hostel get ready and go out for food - we are wasted though So we end up in some nice place I order chilli con carne, Jen gets steak we get a jug of sangria and then order calamari for starters as we're drunk and starving. So the food does nothing in helping sober us up. The sangria is so strong so we're absolutely wrecked by the time we leave. Theres a guy playing guitar at the bar we're convinced he's a migdet he keeps shouting 'go england' at us too haha. Jen is tipping Sangria everywhere. I end up stealing a lighter for her by hiding it in my bikini top. Why I didnt put it in my bag is a mystery?! So we try to hit the hobbit bar after this but they are closing which is lucky as we are a disaster waiting to happen so we head home and crash out!

So in the morning I need to move hostels, I just love the whole moving of hostels. Not. Amazingly its the only day a trike or motorbike dont ask if I want a ride when I'm clearly still a bit drunk and carry everything I own down the street in the 35 degree heat. Thanks guys...

So Jen leaves me its awful she has became my life in Boracay haha I have 2 nights left by myself. Theres so many posh kids in my dorm though they are a nightmare. Telling me how they're on a gap yaaaaaah. All 5 of them together for safety reasons as its 'super dangerous' in Asia. They've obviously never watched the news in the uk... They tell me they only eat local when they're travelling to get into the spirit of the culture. They say this while drinking starbucks frapacinos. They are also talking about the tuna melts you get here. As if a tuna melt was a traditional filipino dish. One even tells me with a straight face about how her daddy has packed an IV line in her bag just incase she gets really sick because obviously the hospitals are very dirty in Asia. Again she has obviously never watched the news in the UK.

I cant deal with these kids travelling on daddies money. They just do what they want and dont appreciate it and then there's people like me always saving to do more and more to achieve my passion. What are these kids going to learn from travelling the globe for free on daddies money - absolutely nothing. Just how to get more money from daddy probably. w***ers. I'm jealous of course. But not because I want my dad to give me all his money - i'm the opposite of that I'm happy I dont rely on my parents for money It's nice being independant. Although I am obviously alot older than these gap yaaaahs but quite simply if they cannot afford it with out daddies back up maybe they should wait until they have one of those job things?

So on my last night I go to watch the sunset I sit near a Korean guy he asks to join me and of course I let him as I'm not a nasty girl and we have a chat he's a sweet guy. He ends up missing the sunset as hes talking me but he says its ok as I am more pretty than any sunset. Cute. He's a sailor in the navy and tells me all about his travels and his love of history. He actually knows what my Om Mani Padme Hum tattoo is. Like he tells me what it means! how cool is that? Its cool cos its a lotus flower with tibetan symbols inside so its not obvious what it is!! He then asks me out for beers but I decline as I cannot drink any more to be honest and I also dont trust a navy boys intentions haha.

So my last thing from the Philippines. Its the morning my last morning, I wake up and a bird has s*** on my pillow. Brilliant. Its not on my head amazingly. During the night I heard rats in the roof but no birds. So thats nice I'm covered in mossie bites because the gap yaaaahs insisted on leaving the front door wide open on a night to let the humid 30degree air in. Dickheads. I was on the upstairs floor too so everytime I shut it they just opened it again probably hence the bird s***. And then I went to go to the bakery to get me some food for the day and I discover some little p****has stolen my flip flops my havianas infact. What a backpacker disaster. It was one of those posh b****es. Maybe Karma?! Either way I hate them even more now! They all left earlier than me this morning and the other girl left was not with them so it def wasnt her. So angry!! I have to go to Haviana shop for new ones immediately. Luckily this place Boracay is so touristy they have several of these shops!! So I get some new black with a gold skull theyre pretty cool but seriously everytime you try to save a bit cash it gets gobbled up!!

So I get the van, ferry van to the airport it takes less time so less time I have 3 hours to kill in the worlds smallest airport. I chat to a german girl who is cool as and an older aussie guy whose a nice chap! On the plane I'm sitting next to an English couple who discuss the Pilot the whole time and at one point they're getting all edgy cos they think he's gone to the toilet. To be honest I could do without this s*** they're stressing me out. But I fall asleep anyways and wake up as we land I s*** myself and turn to them as I have no idea we're landing and the lady says 'its ok we made it, we carry anti depressants in our bag in case the pilot was sad' Oh right so its all ok then. I made it back to Singapore.

My Hostel is a different one this time funnily enough the cockroach place put me off going back. So this one is a bit weird I ask for a bottom bunk and I am taken to my 'dorm' which is actually a corridor of beds leading to other peoples actual dorms. So weird. But anyways I dont care. I just want a bed. I go to the Bugis street for money exchange and get a really good exchange rate i'm buzzing about that, I get some lovely lemon juice its amazing and wander round. Eventually I grab some food and head to bed to watch 'How I met your mother'

Today was my last day in Singapore I went on a cotton on hunt again as they had shorts I wanted last time. They have them but they're to expensive but I do get some bargains and I manage to get Jordan a birthday present from a hippy shop inthis cool street I discover its called HaJi Lane I think. Its cool as hell. Lots of grafitti and unique arty shops, buzzing bars and hippy shops everywhere!! I really do love Singapore! Just when you think you've seen it all something else just jumps right out there in front of you!! Such a cool place I must admit. So I am now just chilling in my hostel its 5.30pm I have to leave for the airport at 7 so think I'm gonna have my last shower now before I get home!!

Thats right I'm going home tonight!! Only a small 14 hour flight to London then a few hours wait and I'll be back in the toon!! I get to see me Ma, Pa and Sis and get to meet little Zack!! AHHH so excited :) So peace out guys see ya on the flip side xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx