Oh dear. I'm becoming quite the travel slut. I'm falling in love with Vietnam too. It quickly becomes clear that this is far and away the most 'foreign' place I've ever been. As always, it's the little things... Phone wires are hung above the streets in magnitudes that block out the sun. The architecture is a miscellany of communist horrors, shiny glazed blocks and French beauties. The language is utterly impassable. Yogurt bars are where young people hang out...

French fried eel. Barbecued venison in Five spice. Sautéed frog in curry. The food here is almost as wonderful as the gaffs in the English translations.

I seem to recall there being an arab form of execution called Death by a Thousand Cuts. If you need to fly into Vietnam you will face a variant: Near Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts. Take a chair, take a book, take a Valium, take a deep breath, and take the pain. There should have been a sign saying 'Welcome to the Visa Desk. Today we are celebrating F_ck with the Foreigners Day'. Oddly that would have been helpful. It would have involved having a sign, for exa...

In a jet 10,000 feet above Nam. That sounds so cool, if I say so myself. I feel the urge to quote the stats about dogfighting from the start of Top Gun, but I shall restrain myself. However, it may just be the laid back or amateurish style of Vietnam airlines, but I am entirely sure my pilot was never a Naval Aviator. His call sign was never Maverick or Goose or Iceman. It would have been the Vietnamese equivalent of 'Coo, Aren't We High Up' or maybe 'What Do...