Oh. The overnight train from Hue to Ha Noi. How can I describe it to you? I asked Chi, as I leaned against my birth, how many standards of accommodation are there on the train? Three, he replied. So, I guess this is the bottom one? He fell about laughing. Genuine hysterical, sides-clutching belly laughs. This is 1st class, he said. Before collapsing into the bunk (I had the upper one, which was scary for Michael, below) I walked the full length of the ...

The last big beast to slay on the cycling trip is the 110km run to Hue. That's the longest run of the holiday, but c40 km in is the intimidating 10km unbroken ascent up the Hai Van pass. Mainly up a 1:10 gradient, it occasionally dips to 1:5 and once to 1:3. When Clarkson was here for his famous Top Gear Vietnam special, he called it the most beautiful coastal road in the world. It may be, but mainly in a car or on a moped. I promised myself that no matte...

Chi, our English-speaking, expert cyclist and tour guide deserves his own entry. His name is cruelly difficult for westerners to pronounce. If you say Chi, that it a man's name, his in fact. But if you say, Chi, well now that's wrong. That's a girl's name. And if you say Chi. Well that's just rude. You just called him your sister. Chi is a very quiet and modest man. But being human, he has his faults. My favourite is his ability to warn you of something ...

Finally. A rest day. Time off for the legs to relax, to sop up the old town of Hoi An. Home of the £1.50 t-shirt (provided you're prepared to haggle down from £10.00). Food so wonderful that I took a cookery class. "Spling rows and caramali". Stuffed white snapper. Crispy won tons in fresh sweet and sour sauce. Don't worry, I have all the recipes written down. Somewhere. Now I know I put it down somewhere safe. So I wouldn't lose them. Ah.

I recommend spending as little time here as I am prepared to spend writing about it. Another 80km to get here. There's a roof top bar. That is all. The photo is of the only interesting thing that happened whilst we were there. The main street was closed for lots of uniformed people. Why? Because of the weekly requirement for the police to run 5km down the main street with an AK47 shipped over one shoulder to prove they are sufficiently fit and strong for thei...