Oh dear.

Uluwatu is a temple at the southern end of Bali, famous for three things: an idyllic temple built on a rock outcrop surrounded by sheer cliffs on all sides, a regular showing of a traditional dance called Kacek, and a large colony of monkeys.

The more alert reader may have wondered why I started with an 'oh dear'. Now, obviously, I've not plunged down cliffs to my death, nor was I trampled on in the traditional dance. So it is fair to assume I got stiffed by the lesser primates.

Of course there were warning signs: beware the monkeys like to eat spectacles. You know where this is going. But having been round the monkey strewn temple for about an hour, I'd got sloppy about assiduously keeping a finger on the bridge of my nose the whole time.

I'd looked down to check the settings on my camera. It was only second. They were off my face and being chewed by an angry old male, who reminded me slightly of Geoff Boycott.

Embarrassed and powerless as I was, I was transfixed watching the little b***** through my spec-free blur.

There were two tiny little silver linings. Firstly, I happened to have a spare pair with me, the chances of which are usually minimal.

Secondly, a more enjoyably, I'd been wearing my usual work pair. They are made of that special bendy wire that deforms and then goes back to shape. More than a match for your simian teeth! Other than getting the plastic ear thingies off, he got absolutely nowhere. A small victory, but a little comfort.