Where do I even start?

Well, today I went out to Nikko National Park. Saw some more shrines and lots more cedar forest which was lovely, the shrines were chinese inspired shinto and buddhist themed which made them all kinds of beautiful. Then we headed off, away from the tiny town, to another crater lake followed by a beautiful waterfall and then head back into the city to Ginza. I chose to walk back to my hostel from Ginza, about an hour through Tokyo as the sun was setting with odd people. business men, bright lights, loud noise and the hustle and bustle of one of the worlds busiest cities and was very much at peace. It was a wonderful walk and a perfect way to start my goodbye to Tokyo. And of course I had sashimi and udon for dinner with a weird flavoured fanta. With my bags packed and plans made, I have time to reflect on the last 26 days.

Since March, I have been figuratively pushing s*** up a hill. A lot has happened, and I had pushed it all on to a backburner because it was easier to deal with, but in reality it has been very difficult and took a real toll on me. I put on weight, my skin got terrible and my self confidence plummeted once again, and I spent a lot nights tossing and turning or crying. During this time, the support of my family and friends was invaluable despite having to push me to discuss things, I still kept a lot inside. Then I found out about getting into the course here, and I cried for an hour because it seemed too good to be true, the sun at the end of a cold tunnel. And as things got worse, I thought maybe I wouldn't be able to go.

Alas, I spent hours planning this trip and being terrified of the feat infront of me as a distraction from my building tension and stress. And then I had my party, and then I packed my bag and got on that plane. On this trip, I have shown myself how strong and brave I can be, and how independant I am and I'm beginning to think that it is something to be very proud of. Not everyone could pack a bag and spend a month backpacking in a country alone where they don't speak the language or know the culture, but I defied the odds and I did. It has gone lonely, but again, my friends and family have always been there to skype on lonely nights and I think doing this alone was the best thing for me. The challenges I rose to, and that I set myself and that were thrown at me and I overcame and came to peace with them.

Having spent so much time in nature that I actively sought, I found a lot of peace and serenity that I needed. I do not spend enough time in nature, and I will from now on. And I will travel more, money is temporary but the lessons I have learned and the knowledge I have gained, even from people around me like Hanuka from Japan, Dan from Brazil, Zoe from Scotland....it has changed me for the better. I have got fitter, lost weight and gained a lot of confidence I may not have found. I like travelling alone and I have to travel bug for good now, and if I can take on Japan...whats to stop me? Brazil? Greenland? Who knows whats in store. All I know is that travelling in the forest is the life for me, and if I keep going the way I am, it might not be off the table. With only 36 hours between me and home, I'm happy to be going back to where I understand everything thats going on but will miss the blissful confusion and lack of responsibility for anyone but myself. Back to reality.

I'll do one final update when I'm less depressed about leaving (although it may last a while) and have settled in at home and slept!

Until whenever. Here we go: Oak Hostel Cabin -> Tokyo Station -> Hamamucho Station -> Haneda International Airport -> Singapore Changi Airport -> Sydney Airport -> Mittagong -> Canberra. Wish me luck!

xo Rach