Kochi is a large city straddling various islands on the entrance to Kerala's backwaters - tributaries rolling down from Munnar hills. We got a ferry 5Rps for the two of us over to Fort Cochin - heritage town. FC was a strategic port and trading hub, battled over for centuries, won by the Portuguese (Vasco da Gama settled here), the Dutch and the British. The result is a charming collection of old buildings, some of which have been restored. We stopped with suitcases at a pavement restaurant and ordered lunch, right next to me a girl started feeding a mangy stray cat. Paul reached for his water bottle and drenched the cat which went running with a screech. Paul carried on talking as if nothing had happened, the girl was horrified, her boyfriend amused. The girl then called the cat back to console it. Paul reached again for the water bottle so I quickly explained that I had a cat allergy - she led the cat away with more calimari. We did not have a hotel booked so Paul wandered around to find a hotel while I relaxed with a masala tea. We landed our cases in the Hotel room and waited for someone to check us in - 30 minutes later and no sign of the manager, we left the reception boy sleeping and headed out to explore Fort Cochin. When we returned reception was deserted which was not a good sign, so we grabbed our cases and moved to another hotel, same price nearby.

Saturday - we got up early to find FC still asleep, none of the heritage sites were open despite advertised opening times, the Dutch cemetary was locked with a sign warning that trespassers would be prosecuted. Most of the heritage sites are privately owned or converted into public buildings such as schools. Even the basilica was closed to foreigners during the morning worship. Only the Chinese fishing nets were viewable by tourists. (We've have both a video and photos). We watched as the huge nets were lowered and raised with varying and infrequent success. We decided to head over to Ernakulam, the modern part of Kochi via the ferry to sort out a backwaters boat trip at the Tourist Office....but that was shut too! We had a drink in town and then returned hopefully to the tourist office to find the woman arriving to open up. We returned to FC and had a pizza (only place with wi-fi was an Italian). We also went to a place called Teapot (see photos) for Darjeeling and chocolate cake - very quaint place - the 'London' teapot that we were given had St. Paul's cathedral looking suspiciously like the Taj Mahal. I wanted a bit of culture so twisted Paul's arm to see a Kathakali performance at a local theatre. Kathakali is a play set to traditional music where the story is acted out using mime and facial expressions. Actors study the artform for 6 years before they can perform it. You arrive early to watch the performers apply their make-up. You then have a demonstration and explanation of the meanings of the facial expressions and hand gestures and then the performance which lasts about an hour. Absolutely fascinating and a real visual treat - see photos. We finished the night off with a meal at a Kerala restaurant - the owner explained that despite Kerala's reputation for hot spicy food, the Keralans were becoming more westernised in their tastes and no longer wanted spicy food. We both felt that the food at home was spicier than what we've experienced out here.

Sunday was our amusing backwaters boat trip, a backwaters cruise, followed by a canal canoe cruise. We were on the tour with 1 Belgian, a Norwegian, 2 Australians, 2 Canadians, several Germans, a woman from Oman and a group of crazy Turkish tourists. From the start we knew the Turks would be trouble - one guy was surrupticiously photographing the Belgian girl's backside. In the middle of our tour guide's first chat one of them got up and announced that he would be translating for his Turkish friends. We had a one and half hour cruise along the river before stopping for a walk to a spice garden. We watched a local guy with his 4 year old daughter arrive at the bankside in a canoe and the Turks descended like paparrazi - scaring the little girl to the point of tears. After the locals had got out of the boats one of the Turks decided that he wanted to be photographed in the boat - seconds later there was a big splash as he landed in the water, backpack and all. We all giggled as the rest of his group took photos of him before helping him out. The boat was completely submerged but he made no attempts to rescue it. We then had a demonstration from a strapping Indian guy who climbed to the top of a coconut palm to collect sap to be turned into 'Toddy' the local brew. Another of the Turks decided to compete with him by climbing another coconut tree. Not satisfied with this feat he then tried an arm wrestling competition with the guy. The paparazzi continued to photgraph every local we saw, sometimes holding their cameras inches from their faces. The last embarrassment was when one of them decided he needed to go to the toilet and promptly headed into someone's private home. Our guide was furious and insisted he come back out. The trip was pretty uneventful otherwise. The canoe trip took us down narrow waterways past small settlements. Women washed their clothes on flatstones in the river outside their homes, snakes swam alongside the canoes and children bathed in the canal and begged for school pens. That evening we wanted to avoid yet another tourist restaurant so we asked around FC for an authentic Indian restaurant - Sree Krishna cafe was the famous one suggested. We took a 1.5km autorickshaw ride to the place, which looked like an office instead of a restaurant. We had veg masala dosas, veg cutlets and onion uttapams washed down with several cups of tea and it only came to Rp180 (£2.40) including the tip. We ate with our right hand only as is customary. Monday we were moving to the hills for cooler climes and exercise. Munnar is a tea plantation area in the hills of Kerala. We arrived at the bus station in Kochi hopeful of an air conditioned bus for the 5 and a half hour (165kms) journey. Our bus was departing at 8:40 - it had no windows, fresh-air conditioning. We drove through several urban areas along the coast before heading inland and upwards to Munnar where we would be based at Misty Green View Homestay for 5 days......