Today in Australia we all choose between a Ranga and a Budgie Smuggler. We have had a Clock Collector, a Champion Beer Swiller, a Hotel Lobby(ist) with no pants, Tin Tin, a Lover of Queens....twice, a Swimming Russian Sub Chaser and now we choose again.

Yes.... for those of you off the big island it is federal election time again. And this year we have less chance of getting it right than ever. The campaign to get our vote has been so dull our options are really below the belt......literally the only difference between the two. Hence a 'natural' Ranga, and the Budgie.

Anyway I am over it, in fact I was over it about 4 weeks and 6 days ago 'after the knives were out' of Kevin's back and an election was called. Instead I am going to write about my trip to Sydney on the Big B******ks Tour now that you have had time to digest the photos. There is more variety in our beaches than our Poli's.

As I had the entire day to get to Helensburgh I decided to take a leisurely drive with several stops to look at the world rather than let it fly by. First stop was the Big Merino at Goulbourn. Just for a few pics and a coffee. I took my life in my hands driving along the Federal Hwy around Lake George with 3 'P' plate drivers, of the limited brain cell variety, who thought racing each other would be a fun thing to do. I actually saw one of the cars at the Big Merino and seriously thought of letting the tyres down while they were in the servo. But decided to just leave it.

Back on the hwy and I took the Southern Highlands exit with the intention to go down to the coast through Robertson to Wollongong. I pass through Bowral; it is NSW's answer to Beechworth, all antique shops, bakeries and English trees. But like every other place in Australia at the moment the new development is by the same designer. All gray boxes with the imagination of a gnat. I am so glad you have retired Dad as you would be embarrassed at the lack of imagination in the modern Australian architect.

Down the cutting from the Southern Highlands to Albion Park. I got stuck at the train crossing at Robertson on the way into town, then by the road works at Albion Park which gave me the opportunity to observe the locals. I was unaware stem cell research had gone this far cloning an entire town's population from the same piece of knuckle dragging bi-ped. Some people ought to get out, and stay out, more.

I then travelled along the road into the city of Wollongong. This is a city designed for locals only. All signs lead to Bulli, at one intersection both left and right. How can people need this many signs? Bulli is the huge mountain on the left if you keep the ocean on the right. Perhaps there has been some confusion in the past between the two. Trying to move along I spent an hour looking for signs to any of the northern suburbs or beach side towns on the coast road. Eventually I found Thirroul and stopped for a quick Kodak moment.

Back in the car and clinging to the coast until at last a sign to Fairy Meadow and I was on the coast road to Helensburgh. If Pippa and I ever came back to Australia to live I would consider this coast. It is really beautiful. Weather board homes clinging to cliffs looking over the ocean. Each year surviving another land slide that takes out the road and rail network. Plus the town names are really cool Austinmer, Coledale, Coalcliff, Stanwell Park.

The road along the coast, I discovered, is very popular with cyclists. Not surprising really as it seems popular with cars, motorbikes and joggers as well. But it really is a great stretch of coast. I cruised into Helensburgh via the cake shop and bottle shop as per regulations when visiting friends.

Very nice Indian and Thai dinners and several wines made for a pleasant couple of days. Got to fulfil my need for football with the Helensburgh Under 8s v Bulli (I think) See everything leads to Bulli. Well done AJ for all the saved goals, you did better than The English Goalie in the South African world cup. You knew which side of your goal to keep the ball.

On Sunday Tina and I met her Mum, Lotus, to do the Coogee to Bondi walk. Another very nice coast I was to discover as I had only ever been to Coogee prior to this. We met Lotus at Coogee and had Hot Chips (the way we eat them in Australia) then donned the sunnies, hats and day packs and headed north.

Lotus made a very good early tour guide pointing out 'Wedding Cake' rocks off the Coogee head land. Apparently named for the white splash on top to look like icing. We carried on along to Clovelly where Tina demonstrated her Tour Guide skills pointing out the 'natural' rock pool inlet. Lotus and I pointed out the natural cement and straight edges of the inlet which were perchance influenced a little by man.

But undeterred we carried on through Waverley Cemetery, Tamarama, Bronte and towards the headland that makes the south end of Bondi. Here we stopped for a rest and I was interviewed for 'National Science Week" Six questions on my knowledge of science.

1) How many days does it take the earth to go around the sun?

2) How are seasons created?

3) Why does the moon change shape?

4) How much of the planet is water covered?

5) How much of the water is fresh?

6) Does science contribute to the Economy?

Answers in brief: 365 and a bit, the axis, suns angle to the moon as seen from the earth, 70%, 1%, only applied, environmental and health, pure things like physics and chemistry not really contributing to the economy.

Apparently I passed which was nice and Tina got the photos of a bronze lizard for Pippa while she waited. Unfortunately I have no idea where the film will be shown. I think it was a University Science Survey thing or something. They were young Scientist as the guy did not yet have a beard.

Around the headland and down past the Bondi Iceberg swimming club. A club for seasonally challenged individuals who think it is never too cold to swim. Nutters basically, and there was one guy in the pool at the time who I really thought was not going to make it to the end. His Breaststroke was becoming less breath and more stroke with every metre.

Into Bondi and search out a coffee. Today was the City to Surf fun run so it was arrival to the aftermath of 80,000 joggers. But luckily for Tina, Lotus and I the fat lady had sung and there was not a crowd at the coffee shop.

Lotus had a walk on the beach to reminisce as she grew up here and Tina and I sat on a wall, as we have done many times in the last 29 years and talked. I miss the coast and the people who live there. Another reason to leave Canberra as Global Warming will not happen fast enough to provide a decent coast here.

Taxi back to Coogee and drive back to Helensburgh. Another great dinner, Happy Birthday Lotus, and home to Canberra in the morning.