I am lucky to have a luxury that is not afforded by many travellers; constant internet access. So I shall take advantage. J'en profite messieurs dames. Let me begin with a small rant... For the most part, I really like Australia. I have seen many wondrerous things such as Uluru, the Sydney Opera House and an Australian man call my friends and I a 'bunch of Pommy b******s'. Charming. Anyway, I can't help notice how Austrlia, culturally, is f***ing retarded. By about 25 years. American Gangster was only released here a couple of months ago. David Hasselhoff is still a popular musiscian (*may or may not be true) but most unf***ingfathomably tardy of all is their fashion. On a number of occasions, i have been fortunate enough to witness a true australian wedding, a coming together of a 'sheila' and a 'bruce'. However pretty the bride may lok, this will almost certainly be shat all over by her new husband. Why? you may ask. Well, even if the groom's suit has been slaved over by hoards of shrews, Cambodian orphans or whatever, he will, without doubt, ruin the look by wearing white (faux) leather slip ons. NOT A GOOD LOOK. As petty as this sounds, I find it intensely annoying. Why do people do this? In a formal setting, white shoes should only be worn with white, cream or at a stretch, very pale shades of blue. Most morning dress is in black, grey or sometimes navy so white shoes should be left in the caravan. Fr f***'s sake, get it right, it's offending my b****** eyes.

In other news, I went to an AFL game yesterday which was quite good although it rained and was f****g cold and I was a bit preoccupied with texting old flames. I was given a cap to wear to support the local team but couldn't bring myself to wear it. Bad colours. Would have prefered a scarf. Speaking of scarves, I really need a chunky knit.

Finally found some decent Twinnings Earl Grey. It has obviously been imported. They couldn't possibly have made it here. They don't know how.