Apologies for my utter tardiness in keeping this motherf***er updated. I've been manically busy. After my rather depressing episode in Rainbow Beach (definite infringement of the trade descriptions act), I made my way to Hervey bay (possibly Australia's top place to go and die) in preparation for my departure for Fraser Island. Met some super nice people on the bus there and then in the end had a really good time. Moved on to Kroombit cattle station where i was allowed to live the trailer trash dream; fire a shotgun and drink beer. Shame I couldn't sleep in a trailor. Made my way to Airlie Beach, gateway to the Whitsunday islands. Got horrendously drunk at a bbq and felt awful the next day. Met perhaps the stupidest girl ever which kept me entertained but infuriated at the same time. The Whitsundays turned out better than I had thought cos I was on a party boat. I met a belgian gril and some extremely boring swiss people. I got to talk french though which was good. After my 5 day stint aroubd the whitsunday coast I f***ed off up to Townsville (vile) and then caught the ferry to Magnetic island which was awesome. At that point I was travelling with 2 really nice couples. Both younger than me which made me feel old. I probably am old. Got absolutely s*** faced by accident one night but made a trek up to some old fort on the island and got some REEEEALLY good photos which you will never get to see(more of that later). The following day, Dan and I hired a moke (looks like this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini_Moke) and zoomed amround for the day. Left Magnetic the next day and got to Cairns which looked ok at first but just got awful. A bunch of us went out to the Woolshed (utter hovel but serves good food). They had goldfish racing. No, really. Guy and I got bored so started playing a drinking game that we made up. I was shattered so tried to make my way back to the hostel. I had no idea where it was and there weren't any taxis about so I had a rest on a bench. I woke up 3 hours later, minus camera. Goddbye top of the line digi cam. goodbye 4gb of awesome pics. I was f***ing raging. Met some really nice girls from manchester at the hostel and hung out with them. Bought a new camera. Caught the plane to Alice Springs and then my new camera decided that the lens would get jammed. i have been to 5 camera shops today and no f***er has anyone who can repair cameras. f***ing c*** . I'm in a really awful mood. I can't wait to get the f*** out of here and back to melbourne. So much so that when i get to adelaide i will catch an overnigh bus back to melbourne instead of enduring a 4 day s*** fest with a coach load of lobotomised gibbons. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with Australia, its just my luck has been a bit s***ty. f***.