Day 82

I have enjoyed a two day complete detox and relaxation treat at the Park Village Resort which was truly superb. Will bring all my visitors here in future! Set in a wildlife park with fresh air and lovely plants, flowers and scents, thousands of little butterflies everywhere. The highlight on the first day was arriving at the pool where four shaven-headed well built men sat around drinking (we assumed alcohol), playing cards, eating chips, ogling bikini-clad babes and listening to gangsta-rap. Triads, we thought and avoided eye contact. Imagine our surprise when several hours later they started gathering up their burgundy and orange robes and prepared to return to their monastery. Buddhist monks! This provoked a lot of questions in Fern who couldn't understand that monks may also be allowed a side-line in frivolty, fun and frolics. To be honest it was diffcult to accept. Maybe they weren't supposed to be there and had sneaked out when the Dalai Lama wasn't looking. Nice to know the desire for hedonism hasn't completely left even the most holy and devout of men.

Fern and Clover had great fun chucking Mittens into the pool, pulling her out again and performing mouth-to-mouth at the poolside, and drinking giant fruity mocktails from the bar menu. They also enjoyed quizzing a fat American man swimming and splashing about with a 5 year old Nepali girl about his intentions (he was adopting her, she would be his daughter 'soon'. A little ominous for my liking - the saddest part was her 17 year old mother quietly watching on). On the first night we woke at 3am to find Clover screaming 'there's a cat on Fern's bed!'. Of course we assumed this was rubbish and shouted at Clover to be quiet. On closer inspection however, there was indeed a large white and brown cat curled up at the end of Fern's bed. I think you know you are truly in a wildlife park when the animals actually manage to get into your room (the exact route was never located) and be confident enough to curl up on your bed. At 3am, being tired and not a little shocked, the cat got chucked out the front door quite aggressively, using a bucket and the universal language of 'f**ing shoo' which we felt bad about in the morning.

Apart from the fright and the mosquitos, I slept for 12 hours both nights, drank 10 litres of water and found I could breathe freely again without coughing up green stuff that looked like Play-doh. We had a brilliant time and I emerged ready for Kathmandu again. Life sure is much easier when you feel healthy. Met the world's most interesting man - a Brit/Aussie/French ex-pat in his late 50's who has devoted his life's work and many marriages to solving the water problem in the developing world - a fabulous, attractive and hugely educated man who joined us in a long, boozy Sunday lunch (retract 'detox' from earlier statement) where we debated every topic on earth and we left him behind with a major crush, mild obsession and a dinner date for Tuesday (or maybe that was just me).

We passed a man skinning a goat's head in public. Photo attached. There were also several nervous looking goats tied with a rope watching the whole scene, which was just cruel. At least give them something to do while they are waiting, like Sudoku, Clover suggested. We also attended 'Teej' - a traditionally misogynistic festival where women were red sarees, visit their in-laws, and fast (food AND water) for 24 hours to wish their husbands a long life, or to wish for a husband if they have none. Over the years however, this festival has been reclaimed by the Nepali women and they tend to use the opportunity to dress up, eat and drink what they like and sing and dance with their pals. Also do no housework and leave the men behind to do all the childcare. I like it. We visited the local temple, 'Sleeping Vishnu' which was without a doubt one of the most beautiful monuments I have seen in the last few months. A giant stone goddess (or god? hard to tell the gender, it is asleep after all) lying on a lily pad, covered in orange silk and flowers in a square pond. Hundreds of worshippers were praying at her/his feet and throwing flowers. A beautiful, peaceful place made even more special by the presence of all the Teej festival goers. We were photographed again constantly. I liked the idea that any minute the Vishnu would get pissed off at all the attention we were getting and suddenly sit up after a ten thousand year slumber and shout 'oi! not them! me! am over here! look at me!'. But it didn't. And then I was thrown out of the Ganesh temple by an ancient Sadhu for wearing a short dress. The local women, rather than being cross with me, smiled supportively at me and laughed at the daft old sage. This once again confirmed to me this was truly a feminist festival, celebrating women's choices and freedom of expression - whether silly men realised or not. Women, like cats, generally only do what they want to do and men need to cotton on. Sharpish.

So until Tuesday... not much to report from the developing world.