Dear Dragon's Den

We would like to submit our application for our idea for how we are going to make millions of pounds. On Monday, we went to a cat cafe in Chiang Mai. We thought this was a brilliant idea and would like to open one in Brighton please.

Possibly it might not make millions, we are not sure, but Donna likes the idea of a job where she gets to sit around and play with cats all day so we thought we would do it anyway.

The idea of a cat cafe is that it is like a normal cafe but there are 20 odd cats sitting around, mostly ignoring you but occasionally making a move to steal your toasted sandwich or drink your milkshake. It gets a bit more exciting when it is feeding time (for the cats, feeding time for the humans is not so much fun) and all the cats raise themselves from their slumber to actually move.

Also we would have to ban kids from the whole thing. When we went, there was a couple of little brats there who thought it was fun to torture the cats by hitting them with the toys until they moved, grabbing them by the tails and shutting them in boxes spinning them around and not letting them out while there dad looked on smugly proud of having such horrible children. Highlights of the afternoon included said cat in a box scratching little boy brat. This schrodinger's cat was definitely much alive.

Donna managed to work out that she could bribe the cats to like her by offering them ibuprofen and she even persuaded one of them to sit in her lap.

We would only need several hundred thousand pounds to start up the project, possibly including a holiday to Japan where apparently there are lots of cat cafes for more research into the matter.

We cannot promise any sort of profit and may need help rehoming 20 unwanted cats when the business goes bankrupt.

Thank you for listening. We await your offers.

Jim and Donna