THE BRAVE HONEYMOONERS AND THE QUEST TO SAVE MONEY

Once upon a time there was two honeymooners who went away on their honeymoon for 7 months. The two honeymooners carefully planned and budgeted their trip for ages so they would not spend too little, not spend too much but spend just the right amount (just like the three little bears).

Unfortunately, neither of the two honeymooners were very good at sticking to their budget. They would prefer to go to very expensive Portuguese restaurants on Koh Phangan and blow a week’s accommodation on Chilean wine and cheese (as well as tenderloin steaks and some cocktails to wash it down with).

Both of the honeymooners knew that if they carried on spending at the same rate then they would have to cut their trip short so what was needed was some severe budget cuts. An era of austerity, if you like. It shouldn’t be too hard. After all, if the Tories could do it....
And we know the perfect way to save money.

How is that you may ask? Cheaper accommodation? Less activities? Fewer nights out?
No, we will do it with water!
Yes that is right.

Small bottles of water at the yoga retreat we are staying at are coming in at a rather extortionate 40p for a small bottle. We know from experience that they are half that price at the local 7-11. All we need to do is to pop to the nearest 7-11, stock up and all our money worries will be over. Ta-da.

All we have to do is borrow some push bikes (for free) and cycle the 2 miles to the nearest 7-11.

That is right, good old fashioned push bikes. They even had an old style basket in the front so that Donna could cart her oxygen machine around with her.

Like hardy adventurers off we sallied, with such cheerful comments as

‘This isn’t so bad’

and

‘You really get to appreciate the Thai countryside this way’

Only foolishly realising that we had been going downhill and would have to come back up at some point.

Fair to say it got a lot harder after that. I had to abandon my lovely wife at one point when we reached the really steep hill. Like Captain Oats, I went it alone.

And unfortunately like Captain Oats, I failed to make the 7-11...the mountains around Chiang Mai being too much for me. In my defence it was a s*** bike, it was very hot and I had been up since 6 doing bloody yoga.

However, all was not lost!! I did manage to find a little restaurant shop thing where the very friendly owners took pity on a sweaty westerner and sold me large water for 10p.

I bought 6 of them. Hopefully enough to see us through the yoga retreat, saving us a total of...well almost a pound at least and putting our spending completely back on track. Hurrah!

I managed to pick up Donna on the way back and eventually made it back to the retreat with cries of

‘I’m not doing that again’

and

‘f*** the budget. when these run out we are paying the 40p they charge’

THE END