"Live and Let Die", was Ian Fleming's second James Bond, 007 novel. I've just finished reading it. While I do find Fleming's work to be quite well written, his Bond just isn't the same one I grew up with on the silver screen.   
 
In the below excerpt from "Live and Let Die", 007 has rescued the beautiful Solitaire from the clutches of the gargantuan, evil Mr Big. They're on a train, in a luxurious 'private' compartment, travelling from New York to St Petersburg, Florida. They've kissed, far too many times, before nature should have taken its course. 

   "You're very beautiful," said Bond. "You kiss more wonderfully than any girl I have ever known." He looked down at the bandages on his left hand. "Curse this arm," he said. "I can't hold you properly or make love to you. It hurts too much."  
 
Me: Bond isn't able to 'make love' because he has a broken pinky finger, which has been set by a CIA surgeon. 'Shove the damned hand into your pocket, James, and get to work,' is what I shouted at the bloody book before ripping out the page and moving on.   
 
In this next excerpt, Bond and his Jamaican operative Mr. Quarrel, have a harrowing undersea adventure:

  One day they shot a ten pounder (barracuda) that had been hanging around them, melting into the grey distances and then reappearing, silent, motionless in the upper water, its angry tiger's eyes glaring at them so close that they could see the gills working softly and the teeth glinting like a wolf's along its cool underslung jaw. Quarrel took the harpoon gun from Bond and shot it, badly, through the streamlined belly. It came straight for them, its jaws on their great hinges wide open like a striking rattlesnake. Bond made a wild lunge at it with his spear just as it was on to Quarrel. He missed but the spear went between its jaws. They immediately snapped shut on the steel shaft, and as the fish tore the spear out of Bond's hand, Quarrel stabbed at it with his knife and it went mad, dashing through the water with its entrails hanging out, the spear clenched between its teeth, and the harpoon dangling from its body. 
 
Me again: Almost everyone knows that you should leave your harpoon or spear on the beach when swimming in waters inhabited by these menacing fish. Barracudas do not like sharp objects.
  
'Live and Let Die', was good for my ego. I found that there are two things I'm better at than James Bond.