And we're back... 

Apologies if any of you actually gave a flying pooper about what we're getting up to. WiFi is a luxury in these parts...

 For the past couple of weeks... The four Musketeers, Alex, Mo, Emily and myself have been camping out in the Australian Wilderness. 

We figured a swift getaway from Melbourne was the way forward. We set ourselves a marker point to escape within 2 weeks. Scrounge as much money as we possibly can in that time, then swoosh! Thunderbirds are go!! I managed to keep the Greek mafia happy at the cafe I was working at, til I dropped the "I'm leaving in a couple of weeks" bomb on them. Coincidently a friend of Alex's (Dan) offered to pay me $120 for a painting as a birthday present for his girlfriend... Which was bloody handy. We combined all our forces to create money bags for our little get away. Everything came around so quickly... And before we knew it, BOOM! It was Mo's birthday. 

The Day was crazy! With barely any sleep the night before, preparing a 'special, herby cake' for Moses, writing birthday raps and what not, we were all pretty cream crackered when it was time to wake up for work at 4.30am. 
Once we were all finished, we packed our bags, to leave the s*** hole of a share house, 20 Tyson Street, Richmond. Now, as you may/may not know, our landlord was something of an absolute f***ing a*******... Quite an unreasonable gentleman, with strange mannerisms and a strong hate for men with beards... So on that note, we thought we'd leave him a little present, hidden away until the time's right... Nope, not a puddle of piss under the sofa, or piles of s*** through his letterbox... But a magnificent work of art upon the living room wall. We giggled hysterically like Middle School dip s***s, then scurried away. Hehehe...

We hopped in the van, to make the fastest getaway on that Friday night, and made our way to Sam and Emma's house (a couple Alex had found on Gumtree, to stay with for a couple of weeks). They are possibly the most chilled out, relaxed people I've ever met. Always have awesome music playing, cook great food, and share the same hobbies... Buying random pieces of art and ornaments from Op Shops and smoking extortionate amounts of weed. 
It was a sweet set up for a couple of nights... Gave us chance to properly celebrate Mo's birthday, have a decent dinner and plan our route to find farm work, for our departure on the following Monday. 

After guzzling chocolate wine, goon and good, old Jim Beam, we trotted to Revs for one last time. Like a group of wild, scruffy animals, eyes sagging heavily, and slightly boozy... We managed to party hard until the early hours of that Saturday morning. 

The rest of the weekend was spent watching Star wars and munching good food, before settling for crappy camping noodles and burnt toast. 

Monday morning made a quick appearance. All of us were finally packed, running later than expected... This is where our little adventure began. 

ROAD TRIP TIIME. 

So here we go... Three sitting in the front, I'm in the back, lying belly down, amongst huge travel bags and camping equipment. I know what you're thinking parents, 'health and safety' blah blah... And yes, you're right... it wad a bloody stupid idea, but it was the closest I was ever going to get to flying a magic carpet. It was fun... but extremely cramped. 

That was a good 5weeks back now... My oh my! How time flies! So my memory is slightly blurred... We managed to chug chug our way through to Narooma by our third day... Which was a stunning seaside village/town. Lots of wildlife, Kangaroos and Wallabies hopping about the joint. That's one place I won't forget. Absolutely stunning... But not a lot to do... Apart from walk across some rocks and count Kangaroos... Actually, a lot of the east coast points seem to share similar characteristics... Kangaroos, nice shores and f*** all to do... Apart from, getting absolutely baked, smoking weed. I think that's why so many people smoke it out here... If they can't surf and they're bored s***less of counting Kangaroos, they turn into pot heads. 

Camping has been a challenge of our tolerance... Tolerance of each other, the COLD, and not having a good soapy, shower. That's right ladies and gentleman, we collectively as a group went a good 5days without washing. So you can imagine the stench we carried with us, whilst swooping around the super markets on the food pick up days... A tasty marinade mix of spicy, sweaty armpits, flavoured bum holes and all rocking the homeless scarecrow hair style. My hands were black with filth on day 5. 

We managed to reach Port Macquarie, where the weather started to feel a bit more Aussie... Warm, sunny, happy, delightful... And then we got THE CALL. It was our good friends, Sam and Jess. They had found themselves a nice, little farm to work on whilst making their way up North. They told us that the farm needed more people to work there. PERFECT! We all are keen for more money, and are contemplating doing farm work to gain our second year. 

Happy days! Alex then received a buzz from a friend he'd met whilst working at a ski resort in Lake Louise (Canada). He was staying with his girlfriend and her parents on a huge chunk of farm land in Port Macquarie. He told us to pop by and stay for a couple of nights. It was awesome! 

As we approached the farm, we were greeted by Martin riding a monkey bike, followed closely by a pack of barking dogs. It was like he'd turned into a wild man! We followed him to the front of the house through this beautiful stretch of land. 

We enjoyed the company of Martin, Ellie and Lioni (Ellie's mum). I offered to cook dinner for the two nights we were there, which won me some thumbs up from the clan! It was so nice to chill out and actually finally have a wash!!! 

It was soon time to b***** off out of the comforts of this cosy spot of land.. and flung ourselves back into the wild! 

We were all pretty chuffed to receive some real, paid farm work! However our joyful smiles soon turned into sour frowns, when the weather became bitterly cold. In the minuses can you believe??
After we crept up to the warm Australian weather... We took a tumble down towards Griffith. We hunted for 'free campsites' (which ended up being non existent)... And set up camp in a rest area (picnic spot). Our t*** were frozen. We tried cooking dinner... But the wind, and ice cold spits of rain kept blowing the stove out... Which resulted in us slurping down a cold pesto poo pasta mush, cursing Sam and Jess for finding us a farm in the Antarctic. "It's all about the experience!" We keep telling ourselves. 
We chugged on further the next day whilst kangaroo spotting, cashew nut shooting wars, piss stops... and listening to Genghis Khan history podcasts. We finally made it to Nerrandera! Jess and Sam were staying in the work hostel which was only 10mins away from the campsite we were staying in.
"Come to Top Pub! That's where we're staying!!" 
Chug chug chug... We pull up outside this hostel/pub in the middle of this absolute Ghost Town, to find a sea of dusty travellers, dressed in high visibility jackets, all hollering down at us from the balcony. Jess was already galloping down the stairs to come and see us. She greeted us all with a huge hug... All smiles and Scottish. 
Slowly following Jess, Sam trudged downstairs, grinning from ear to ear... and passed around his Swedish love to each of us. It was so good seeing them again!! 
Sam took a step back... "Ahh hello everyone! Man I'm pretty stoned already!" 
It was around 4pm on a Friday night. They had all finished early, and they also had the whole weekend to look forward to. I later discovered that the farm workers only usually get Sunday off... 
We walked through the pub downstairs, then followed Jess and Sam to the upper floor where we were greeted by a whole rabbit burrow full of travellers! In every nook and cranny there were travellers! Tons of the b*****s! 38 in total... All living above the tiny pub. It was hilarious. Some were pretty giggley already, clasping hold of cans of beer, and pouring themselves mixers. It soon became very clear that this was going to be a messy weekend. 
Alcohol turned out to be an effective ice breaker. 
The owners let me and Alex stay in the camper van outside, and help set us up a little fire pit area for warmth. The owners of th pub are pretty decent. We chilled out with them Saturday night, and they brought us out some warm, homemade moonshine, (which was f***ing exquisite). Delicious... but dangerously potent... As on of the Irish lads demonstrated as he spat a drop on to the fire. Flurmp!! Managed to get us pretty whoozie before the night began. 
It's been a crazy few weeks. Alex and I managed to get away with a mild alcoholic initiation... Whilst Mo and Emily weren't so lucky. Haha... Picture this... Mo and Emily having their hands duct taped to two cans filled with goon... They then had to race and complete an obstacle course, including a hop over the sofa, without spilling any goon, then mouldy orange bobbing in a bucket of goon punch. 
Poor them.... Hahahaha! 
So these guys party HARD. You have to! It's an absolute must when your job is to differentiate between a good stick and a bad stick. That's right. The farm work is on a Ferrero hazelnut farm... pruning trees. Choosing good sticks, bad sticks, cutting sticks, moving sticks from a bay to a tractor, pushing down soil into a stick pot... then repeating the exact same thing, 8 hours a day, six days a week. My motivation... I like Ferrero, I like Nutella. 
The farm is run by a group of Aussies... One of them being the most retarded, blithering old man I've ever met. It's hilarious... We're constantly taking the piss out of his stupid antics. Helps us to get through the day. 

Anyway... So that's our life at the moment... Sticky and Clicky. 

Quote of the Day

Tony (the retarded farmer) "Everyone grab your hoes!" 

I run over to Oriana and pick her up. 

After smoking a spliff with Mo... Holding a stick with no marshmallow on it... 

I quote from 'Hook' - "You're doing it Peter! You're imagining!!" 

Mo starts hysterically laughing.