What a red letter day. Drew drove us to Arundel Castle for a day of Jousting. He set Siri the simple task of directing us to the castle, using map coordinates he'd found on the web. An hour and a half later, he announced that we had reached our destination. It was in the middle of the countryside with not a building in sight. From the backseat I sang, "We're on the road to nowhere". It's David Byrne "Talking Heads". Drew responded, "and note perfect". This might be the first time ever that I have held a tune.

It still didn't help. We had overshot Arundel by 20 minutes. A Lobotomy for Siri and he got it right this time. It did mean however that the carpark was already ¾ full, which meant the grounds were already teaming with people. Then again, the grounds are so extensive that as they spread out, it was very comfortable. It also meant that as it was now 11.00am, it made the decisions easy as to what we would do and in what sequence.

One hour to tour the castle. We're not so much into bedrooms and museum display rooms/lounge rooms, so we headed for the defensive towers and "the Keep". O.K., we missed out on some portraits by Van Dyck, Gainsborough, Mytens, Lawrence, Reynolds, Canaletto and others, however there wouldn't have been enough time to see and do all that we did do.

My favourite book as a kid was "The Red Keep". While set in Burgundy, it still resonates and seems as relevant to "Motte & Bailey" castles anywhere. The motte is the mound of soil built to a height of 25metres. The keep was built on top of the motte and it was surrounded by walls that enclosed the Bailey and a moat around the whole construction. This part of the castle is celebrating its 950th anniversary this year.

I'm posting the complete abridged history of the castle below, however for those not so interested, I'll just say, "Apart from the occasional reversion to the Crown, Arundel Castle has descended directly from 1138 to the present day, carried by female heiresses from the d'Albinis to the Fitzalans in the 13th century and then from the Fitzalans to the Howards in the 16th century and it has been the seat of the Dukes of Norfolk and their ancestors for over 850 years"

The Duke of Norfolk is the premier Duke in the peerage of England. The queen's right hand man, and he and his wife reunited late last year.

"It may not be a solution open to every warring couple, but the Duke and Duchess of Norfolk have saved their marriage by spending five years living in separate wings of their 11th century castle.

Edward and Georgina Fitzalan-Howard announced in 2011 that they had decided on a "trial separation" having grown apart after 24 years of marriage.

But while that would normally mean one party moving out of the marital home, the couple's huge family seat of Arundel Castle in West Sussex enabled them to live separately under the same roof by having one wing each, with neutral territory in between."

They appear to have discovered that absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they have reportedly rediscovered their love for each other while planning the wedding of their eldest son Henry, which took place last month.

By April they had started attending events together again, including a book launch in London's Regent Street, and they are now said to living together once again.

Their relationship became so bitter that they were said to have turned down an invitation to the Royal wedding in 2011 in order to avoid being in the same room together."

Much of the ancient part of the castle we explored was fitted out with plaques describing the role played in the civil war between the parliament and royalists (think roundheads and cavaliers). By the time we made it to the battlements of the Keep, the crowds had thinned to very comfortable. One section of the battlements was boarded over as they overlook the private quarters of the family. That is, the reunited family.

I went to the last opening in the battlements before the boarded ones and held my camera out over thin air, pointed it around the corner and clicked. Amazing result. A photo of their residential wings surrounding the original "bailey" which now contains a tennis court, swimming pool, orangerie, palm tree gardens and green green lawns and garden beds. I'll post it as the main photo for this blog.

We managed the tour in around 55 minutes and were back seated beside the lists just in time for the jousting to begin. The tilt (a 50m long timber fence), flanked on each side by wood chip paths. The knights on horseback with lances charge down each side from opposite directions and attempt to hit the knight on the other side with their lance. 3 points for a hit to the head or shield, 2 for the chest and 1 for the arms. Bonus points if the lance shatters. The ends of the lance are in sections designed to break off and depending on what length breaks off as to how many points. As the announcer instructed "If you see a piece of the lance flying toward you, don't look at in awe and wonder, duck … and please return it to the marshals as it will be reattached."

We began with three women and one man on horseback competing in field events. In sequence they moved around the field, spearing rings from posts, slashing lettuce on posts, firing arrows into targets, speared a straw man and lanced a spinning shield. Not so easy when you consider that in order to fire arrows into two targets within 25m of each other, they had to drop the horse's reins, fire, reload a new arrow and fire again. It was only one of the women who was able to fire at both, and hit them. The others only attempted one.

Then came a contest between the English knight and the Polish knight. We barrack for Poland. G Grandmother came from Upper Silesia. Three or so goes at each other and the Pom wins by one point … he came from behind.

Flanking the lists were medieval tents and some were open for airing before the tournament began. They were fitted out with double beds, so all the members of the company, including wives and children (all in medieval dress), sleep on site.

Next we walked up to the church where the Japanese guide we had met in the Keep was now attending. Yup, you got it right, she is Japanese and the most enthusiastic guide we've ever met. We only had to glance at something, and off she went with a full explanation. Broken heads on small reliefs around the base of a tomb … the horses knocked them off. What? The parliament army used the church (catholic) as their stables. Graffiti on some of the alabaster tombs (note Lord Nelson 1801) Given that Nelson was commanding a fleet attacking Copenhagen in 1801, he may not have had time to graffiti in Arundel. Bloody hell, those poms attacking my royal family (GGrandfather was from Denmark) all in order to force them to either sign a treaty with England against France or deny the French the use of the Danish navy. They set up cannon on top of the church to fire on the Keep.

Today, the church is divided by the walls of the castle. Founded in 1390 by the 4th Earl of Arundel and situated in the grounds of Arundel Castle, the Fitzalan Chapel is still the burial place of the Dukes of Norfolk. It is a fine example of Gothic architecture with a carved timber roof and choir stalls. The carved stone tombs are of major artistic interest.

In 1879 it was determined that the Chapel did not form part of the Protestant parish church but was an independent ecclesiastical structure and therefore remains Catholic. A glass wall now divides the Chapel from the parish church; an unusual, if not unique, anomaly in England.

We set ourselves up on a hill beside the fiend games lawns. Here England and France battled it out in one on one and team against team sword fights. France won the day and when I went to have a photo taken with Drew's favourite swordsman, I discovered he was English and lives in Portsmouth. Not a young man either. He said they trained all winter and the tournaments themselves keep them fit during summer. He was exhausted however, particularly after competing in the last two consecutive fights. His 14thc armour which he wears in that period fights, weighs around 30kgs, and the Halberg which is a long pole with an axe head and spike on the end, weighs 35kgs.

Back to the lists for the last joust of the day. We sat ourselves up on an embankment around half way along the tilt. A mother and two children sat in front of us. It eventuated that she was French, however Miss Four Year Old spoke English and counted 8 jewels on her cardboard crown. She progressed up the embankment as the jousting progressed, until eventually she was sitting between Drew and I.

Each of four knights had one run against each other, so three each. So 13 tilts later, the Polish knight Lucasz Dutkeiwicz, was declared the victor.

As we left, the Frenchwoman called out, "aren't you taking her with you". We were tempted.

We spent another hour walking the town and Tea and Scones in a cafe before the long journey home. Long because every car traveling from or through Sussex to Hampshire has to use the A27, and approaching Portsmouth, there are 5 roundabouts with between 4 and 5 roads entering each roundabout within just 2 Kilometres. It takes 15-20 minutes to traverse. Traffic in the UK …. Imagine 6 times the current traffic on Victorian roads.

At home, we managed a couple of hours sitting outside in the twilight and knocked off a bottle of Aperol and a bottle of Prosecco. Felt no pain and was asleep as my head hit the pillow and didn't wake till 6.45am.

There are nearly 1,000 years of history at this great castle, situated in magnificent grounds overlooking the River Arun in West Sussex and built at the end of the 11th century by Roger de Montgomery, Earl of Arundel. The oldest feature is the motte, an artificial mound, over 100 feet high from the dry moat, and constructed in 1068: followed by the gatehouse in 1070. Under his will, King Henry I (1068-1135) settled the Castle and lands in dower on his second wife, Adeliza of Louvain. Three years after his death she married William d'Albini II, who built the stone shell keep on the motte. King Henry II (1133-89), who built much of the oldest part of the stone Castle, in 1155 confirmed William d'Albini II as Earl of Arundel, with the Honour and Castle of Arundel.

Apart from the occasional reversion to the Crown, Arundel Castle has descended directly from 1138 to the present day, carried by female heiresses from the d'Albinis to the Fitzalans in the 13th century and then from the Fitzalans to the Howards in the 16th century and it has been the seat of the Dukes of Norfolk and their ancestors for over 850 years. From the 15th to the 17th centuries the Howards were at the forefront of English history, from the Wars of the Roses, through the Tudor period to the Civil War. Among the famous members of the Howard family are the 2nd Duke of Norfolk (1443-1524), the victor of Flodden, Lord Howard of Effingham, who with Sir Francis Drake repelled the Armada in 1588, the Earl of Surrey, the Tudor poet and courtier, and the 3rd Duke of Norfolk (1473-1554), uncle of Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, both of whom became wives of King Henry VIII (1491-1547).

These were politically dangerous times: the 'Poet' Earl was executed in 1547; his father, the 3rd Duke of Norfolk only escaped the death penalty because King Henry VIII died the night before the execution was due and the 4th Duke (1536-72) was beheaded for plotting to marry Mary Queen of Scots. There have been two cardinals and a saint in the Howard family; St Philip Howard, 13th Earl of Arundel (1557-95) died in the Tower of London for his faith. By contrast, his son, the 'Collector' 14th Earl (1585-1646), as his nickname suggests, was responsible for many of the treasures which can be seen today. The results of all this history are concentrated at the Castle, which houses a fascinating collection of fine furniture dating from the 16th century, tapestries, clocks, and portraits by Van Dyck, Gainsborough, Mytens, Lawrence, Reynolds, Canaletto and others. Personal possessions of Mary, Queen of Scots and a selection of historical, religious and heraldic items from the Duke of Norfolk's collection are also on display.

During the Civil War (1642-45), the Castle was badly damaged when it was twice besieged, first by Royalists who took control, then by Cromwell's Parliamentarian force led by William Waller. Nothing was done to rectify the damage until about 1718 when Thomas, the 8th Duke of Norfolk (1683-1732) carried out some repairs. Charles Howard, the 11th Duke (1746-1815), known to posterity as the 'Drunken Duke' and friend of the Prince Regent subsequently carried out further restoration.

Queen Victoria (1819-1901) came from Osborne House with her husband, Prince Albert, for three days in 1846, for which the bedroom and library furniture were specially commissioned and made by a leading London furniture designer. Her portrait by William Fowler was also specially commissioned by the 13th Duke in 1843.

The building we see now owes much to Henry,15th Duke of Norfolk (1847-1917) and the restoration project was completed in 1900. It was one of the first English country houses to be fitted with electric light, integral fire fighting equipment, service lifts and central heating. The gravity fed domestic water supply also supplied the town. Electricity cost over £36,000 to install, but the splendidly carved chimneypiece in the Drawing Room only cost £150!