8th May

Sarah was coming round before we headed to Red Bar to watch the Man Utd vs Chelsea game. She text me saying she had become a bit lost on the way. I told her to pass the phone to the taxi driver and I'd explain. She laughed as she said she was the Chinese person, "Ha, let me try" I told the taxi driver my address in Mandarin and told Sarah she would now be on her way now.
It was hilarious; Directing a Chinese taxi driver on behalf of a Chinese person. I did indeed feel very proud!
I can't understand why but I felt at times emotional watching United playing. I miss football. The adrenaline, excitement, happiness it used to give me. I would love to just have a fun kick around in the park once a while. I wonder if there is a team at one of the Universities that I could perhaps just join in on their training or something like that?...




10th May


Happy Birthday to the Buddha!
I rode to Xilin temple, as I knew there would be many people going there for the Buddha's birthday but upon turning up, I looked through the gates and saw many people entering the temples, lighting incense sticks. No, I told myself, this is their day and I didn't want to intrude but just standing by and so decided to go on a exploration on my bicycle around Old Town Songjiang.
An hour and a half later after going down many little alleys and finding new shops and roads I was very pink from the sun rays at 28 degrees and so headed back to the apartment for a quick shower before school. I must buy some suncream!

11th May

Checklist:
Eaten Toad

The toad looked like it had been dancing as it was killed, with it's legs bent out at different angles. The only body part missing was the head. Holding the bottom half of the toad with my chopsticks, I sucked the meat off the front legs and the rib cage, there wasn't a lot of meat, but it was actually very tasty

10:00pm
"Darcy I feel a bit sick" I said, as we walked to Tesco's. Upstairs we were trying to find some sun cream, when I suddenly felt nauseous and lightheaded "I need to get some water!" And we quickly made our way downstairs. Grabbing 2 bottles of water, my hands and legs began to shake, "Sugar!" I said taking the first can I could see, Pepsi.
Queuing up my legs were getting worse. Finally outside I sat down. My heart was racing, my breathing was rapid and my hands and legs were having a party of their own! Darcy wanted to take me to the hospital but I said I was beginning to feel better and we walked back across the road to her apartment.
Sat down on the sofa, my shakes were beginning to calm down but mama took my pulse; 125 beats per minute!
After realising the Pepsi of course had caffeine in it, Dinn made me a mug of sugary water. My right hand began to feel very light, 'calm Emma, calm!' I told myself. I sat and watched mama dress in a black robe, light some incense sticks and pray to the Buddha for good health on my behalf. Watching this magical scene, I became composed and apart from my clammy, sweaty hands, the shakes were basically gone.
I had eaten plenty, the weather had been cool after some rain, and I hadn't been drinking alcohol. I think I just had a slight panic attack…
Even though I was feeling better, Dinn and Darcy accompanied me in the taxi back to the apartment. We sat out of the balcony for some time and then Zao Zao and Steven joined us. We talked and laughed until I realised it was 2:30am!
Although this evening incident wasn't enjoyable, the night actually turned out to be lovely, being with my Chinese family and close friends. I am so glad they were there for me!

12th May

Although hungover, Beth joined Darcy and me to the hospital for the next hour and half.
Beth was sleeping peacefully in the waiting room, as Darcy and I went to see the doctor. It was quite a funny scene seeing a foreigner sleeping surrounded by many Chinese people, but she was happy!
Darcy translated everything and I was handed 3 pieces of paper requiring me to have an ECG, a heart monitor for the next 24hours and an Echocardiogram (I think!? It was like a heart ultrasound)
Laying down on the table for my Echocardiogram, the nurse told me to take of my bra. "Ooo, I don't want to!" She just stared at me. "Okay" I sadly said and laid back down. Well it brought Beth, Darcy and me closer together ha!
I was tired being shipped from room to room and things being placed on me. £45 later, we had finished I was leaving the hospital with 7 sticky patches over my chest, with wires leading down into a little machine within a bag, which I carried on my waist.

13th May

"Thanks for coming to the hospital with my Dinn" "No problem, you're my little sister" and we began the short walk from the apartment to the hospital.

Dinn and the doctor pulled of the sticky pads one by one, I told them to be quick! 10 minutes later the doctor called us back into the room after analysing my results. "Nothing. Normal" she said smiling at me. She said some more in Chinese to Dinn and Dinn translated "She said, maybe it's not your body but your heart is broken" I stood and thought about this. 'I am normal, yet my heart is broken, now that doesn't sound good!' Dinn continued "Perhaps a boy hurt you or you miss someone" Ohh right, not like literally torn in half! I laughed, "No Dinn, I was buying suncream in Tesco's"
The other scans and examinations too were fine. It was frustrating that things just happen to my body with no explanation but of course no news is good news and I walked away relieved.

Well with no real conclusion on Tuesday's incident and even Januarys, I think it's time I seriously get into my meditation. Along with this I found a swimming and yoga centre just outside the apartment. The swimming doesn't start until June and as for the Yoga, well the man behind the desk, his Mandarin became a lot more complicated that I didn't understand and so I need to go back with a Chinese friend. But yes, Meditation and Yoga, it's time to relax the mind and body :)

Finally finishing work at 8pm, I slowly walked back to the apartment, thinking about this and that. It was a peaceful walk.
Outside Fangta Park there was a projector screen showing what seemed to be a film like Chinese CSI. The cool wind blowing past, I stood with others and watched for a little bit, before continuing my journey back.
I stopped by my local corner shop and bought some Chinese Dynasty Red Wine. A glass of red wine to finish of my day. Amadou & Mariam play in the background as I lay, relaxed on the sofa. I feel better!

x x x