15th of July, my 6 month point here in Songjiang, China and where do I start?
Firstly, it's been pretty up and down for me here, not with my emotions but keeping myself focused to stay put in one place, as my travel bug has been trying very hard to be let loose! Unlike in Uganda where I had numerous holidays, many months to travel around East Africa, here I only two weeks in a whole year.
I really like this quote and it was especially true back in March when I was debating on whether to pack up and leave China; 'The Buddha likened pleasure to 'licking honey from a knife' - sooner or later we will get hurt by it. It is not that there is anything wrong with pleasure but the compulsive pursuit of it leads to unhappiness. Even if we are sat comfortable and all seems well, in no time at all we have to move and find a new position. To probe a little deeper, something inside human beings is restless and unsatisfied and craves now for "this" and now for "that". Nothing seems to be enough. As Pascal said, all the troubles in the world arise because man is unable to sit quietly in a room' There is so much more of the world out there and my desire to travel to all these places is un-real but this is a life experience; this is what changes me, something that is embedded in my heart. And so here I am now, writing this blog, feeling very pleased that I didn't leave and waste this fantastic opportunity of being able to say I lived and worked within a Chinese community.

With my two days off in the week, I've been trying to do as much travelling as possible. I've been to quite a few small towns outside Shanghai and I've seen most of the world's fastest growing city, Shanghai
Suzhou, is a beautiful river town, a township on water. It was like travelling back in time, away from the loud music and flashing lights that the city has to offer. It was what I was wanting from China; The old buildings and the traditional ways. Apart from the stunning scenery, the biggest part of being in Suzhou was the opportunity of living like a celebrity for a day. I read that Suzhou is extremely touristy, reading that I thought they meant where all the foreigners flock, nope tourists meaning Chinese people from across the country. Walking through the many alleyways, you would constantly hear the squeals of "Picture, picture!" I soon came to realise what it's like being famous. Some people were polite and actually asking for a photo, others grabbing you or the classic of standing just beside you, so it looks like a profile photo of them but they were sneakily having one with you!
Wuxi, was an experience as it was the furthest town from Shanghai and therefore having the least English.
Before I found Project Trust, I was going to travel the world and China was high up on the list. Looking back now at the person I was, I don't think I would of survived travelling in China and probably would have even left. The guide books are useless as taxi drivers can't read the road names in pinyin only in Chinese characters and unless your tones are pretty good, you're usually stuck. Being here I have a lot of respect for anyone who has little or no mandarin knowledge and hits the beaten track. I know it can be down as everyone is kind to you, but it's hard work.
So in Wuxi I saw the world's (?) biggest, bronze palm, standing at 12 metres tall and again perhaps the world's biggest, standing Buddha, towering over me at 88 metres. I remember when the bus turned the corner and you could see the top half of the Buddha rising above Maji Mountain, it actually gave me butterflies, I've never seen anything like it! There always seems to be 'the worlds this and the worlds that' but that's because they put about 5 extra describing words in front so they can claim the title, like the world's biggest, sitting, outside, bronze, blahblah!
Another stop on the train was Hangzhou. I enjoyed Hangzhou as there was no traffic noise, no bright lights, just peace amongst nature.
And I've also made 2 trips to the pleasant Hong Kong.

Everywhere I have been and seen so far I have enjoyed immensely but more so, anything related to Buddhism, so that's nearly everything then! I really like the beliefs and attitude within Buddhism and so I really want to learn more and perhaps lead myself along their philosophies.
At the moment, Buddhism is a slow process, just like my Mandarin. Actually my Mandarin is VERY slow! Anyhow, I feel that Buddhism is something I'll start when the time is right, perhaps when I can fully practice Meditation and then hopefully the philosophy of Buddhism life will fall into place then.

I always want to learn more, squeeze every opportunity possible and this goes for food too. I must admit I've never been so open to eating as much as I have done here, especially as back in England I wouldn't even eat mushrooms, yet here I have tried: Chicken Feet, Chicken Heart, Pigeon Feet, Cow Stomach, Toad, Pigs Leg, Pigs Nose and Duck Gizzard. For me though the biggest accomplishment was the amount of fish I have eaten. The closest I got to fish in England, was battered cod (if you want to call that real fish?!) Yet here I've eaten crab, prawns, shrimp, local lake fish, starfish, salmon eggs, clams and oysters to name a few!

I seem to be quite the medical mystery or perhaps some people might say a medical annoyance! No matter what country I'm in something happens and China hasn't been any different.
I'll start from the beginning, my second week of being here I had to have a CT scan after suffering bad headaches and my body slightly shutting down on me. It was because of bad blood circulation in my neck.
I shall list the rest…
- An allergic reaction to chillies causing hives on my neck and my face and eyes puffing and going as red as chillies for a week.
- A panic attack causing my resting heart beat to be at 125bmp. I had an ECG, Echocardigram and a heart monitor for 24hours. Result, no result!
- Something had caused an allergic reaction and my eye went crazy, swelling. An emergency muscle injection in my backside was needed and then followed by a 1am trip to A&E after only just being able to see out of a slit in my eye.

After 6 month of living here in Songjiang, China, I think it's fair to say I'm a local, but unfortunately Mandarin wasn't a hidden talent for me!
I seem understand more than I can speak. I do remember many words that I've learnt but I can't get the tones right. There are 4 tones and if I was to slip my tone just slightly then that word could mean many other things!
Of course I would love to be able to interact with the local more but even with the lack of communication it hasn't been a problem for me and I've got by just fine. And travelling now I cheat and get one of my Chinese friends to write my destination in Chinese, it saves a lot of hassle. I was even going to write a suggestion to Lonely Planet, that they should really put names of places in Chinese writing too..

I'm not going to lie, I originally looked up Kindergarten jobs as I thought it would an easy way to make money whilst living in an interesting country. Living in an interesting country has been true to its word, as for having an easy job; Well I was very naïve about that!
I thought it would a walk in the park teaching the abc and all that jazz, nope! Each lesson is 40 minutes and every minute I use every ounce of energy I have inside me. I can't quite get over myself really, where does all this energy come from? Even when there are days when I don't feel very well, as soon I step through the doors, anything negative is left outside.
I stepped into the role of being a teacher quite easily and I've been proud of how my teaching and confidence within my job has grown as time has gone on. It seems to of come naturally to me. I get assigned to any new classes and asked to demo classes to any potential new students.
The newest classes are the hardest, trying to plan a fun, engaging 40 minute lesson on "Hello, how are you? I'm fine thank you" 3 new body parts and 3 new animals. And although I do get on well with the older classes, who are around 11-14 years old as we can exchange humour with each other and have interesting conversations, with the younger classes, where the children are between 4-8 years old, I come into my own. Singing, acting, laughing, smiling, everything is so genuine, something that parents who have been watching commented on too. (Yes that's right, the parents either stand at the door and look through the glass pain or at the window and even though the blind is down, you can still see them, which can make it quite off-putting) When I laugh, smile, play with the children, it is all real. I do enjoy being in their company and when a child after many lessons of hard work, finally stands up and says "My name is…" I can't help but jump up with joy!
But saying this, I have signed a year contract with my school and won't be extending it. I have made some amazing friends, seen interesting things, immersed myself into this welcoming culture but I don't feel passionate here. Although some days the children are great at school, trying hard, wanting to learn unfortunately a large percentage of the children can be rude, with little respect for teachers or even their parents! To go to this training school, then you need a decent amount of money on Chinese standards and you can tell, as the children act spoilt or are bad-mannered as they don't want to be in class, it's only because their mother or father has made them. So how do I put it? Basically I don't enjoy teaching 'rich kids'!

Hopefully the next stop for me will be teaching in a refugee camp. I have found a great position in Palestine and now just to wait for their email at the end of year, so fingers crossed! I have looked at other refugee camps in other countries but I have my heart set on Palestine now, as just like here, it would be a new, interesting culture for me to immerse myself into.
I think too much about the future and I shouldn't be as I'm young with all the time in the world but I have concluded what I do want in my life, I want a purpose. I want my job to mean something to myself and more so others around me.
Working in the refugee camps, we'll just have to wait and see. 'If it's for you, then it won't go by you!' And so if it doesn't work out, then I guess that's not the path for me.

I'm not complaining; My working hours are good, my wage is very good and my free modern apartment is brilliant. The area I live in is safe, the shop keepers, restaurant owners, guards, okay well everyone has been very kind and friendly to me, which I have hugely appreciated otherwise I think the culture shock would have been a lot harder to deal with.
I guess I can say, I defiantly think I got an excellent deal here in Songjiang!

In Uganda I found myself and here I've defiantly grown once again.
I'm feeling great inside and out. I'm constantly smiling (I'm going to have terrible wrinkles when I'm older!!) But now, I'm looking forward to my next adventure…

All my love from China,

Yáng Xué - 杨雪 Emma x