Now then kiddywinkles - what next is Messner going to produce from his satchel of banter? He has been marauding around the world for over 20 months now - he is already doing his second lap of honour, his much heralded means seem to be inexhaustible, he is weighed down by the cardboard cut out figure of his fictional girlfriend 'Rosina' that he rolls out for pictures at international beauty spots, and most worryingly of all has started to refer to himself in the t...

Messner is back on the air waves! Actually these aren't really air waves are they? More of an elaborate electronic series of pulleys, cams and conterweights that allows me to write banal entries of my travels to you, my adoring masses. So New Zealand has been left in my wake (note more like the big marauding wave than a function after a funeral, that would just be depressing). New Zealand was very nice but slower than a really slow rock ballad and so I am on...

A 2 day stopover in Hong Kong with a stinking cold. This place is dangerous for the budget traveller - not just because accommodation is so expensive (unless you opt for a 4 quid a night hovel like me) but the shopping is pretty damn good as well. Apart from that, Hong Kong is the manic place you would expect - with the nice touches of rural areas you wouldn't expect, a lovely view of the city lit up of an evening, and the most active OAP's you will ever see...

Ok - my last weeks on the Philippines saw me run like a hound from hell away from the seed. This first plopped me in the countries capital Manila via an entertaining plane flight which included a pub quiz...... Genius! The steward read out a famous line from a film and the first one to raise there hand (on a boeing 737) won a free bag! Mr. Kostalopididocus at easyjet has a lot to learn..... In Manila I gave my local chum a ring who took me to ..... bars of s...

All together now - "God Bless The Philippines". I left you last high, dry and shoeless in Bangkok. What krazy (note crazy spelling of crazy. Crazy!) skrapes (note cr....etc.) have you been getting into since then Simon? Gather close children, gather round t'open fire, and I'll tell thee. I donned the oriental shoehorn and prised myself out of Thailand (Frying Pan) into Cebu City, Philippines (Fire). First stop was the island of Bohol where I turned up, ...