The train to the north: Left Bangkok Wednesday night (30th) for our 14 hour mission. We found out that Pinocchio from the tourist company that sold us the package slightly elaborated on a few details. Mainly that the promised 'private cabin' on the train was not a cabin but a whole carriage packed to the rafters. The toilets weren't exactly marble - more of a whole in the deck - and the food bill was pricey to say the least.

Chris and Matt had bottom bunks so managed some sleep. Luke was up top with a floodlight 8 inches from his face making sleep a little difficult. Waitress must have been on commission as she was power selling the Singha beers. She was good - Matt bought one.

Arrived in Chang Mai. cooler than Bangkok. Hotel...... first night. Not quite the 'Lodge' but nice. Quote 'best shower', 'best pillow'. Went for relaxing lunch. Quote 'best meal'. Starters turned up after the main which was different!

Pushed out the boat and went for a traditional Thai massage. Quid fifty for an hour! Luke's masseuse was weighty to say the least and probably an ex pro wrestler. Felt good afterwards though!

Rained heavily Thursday night. Braved the storm and hit a few bars. Quite quiet. The Welsh bartering skills were on full display for a cheap taxi home!

Friday (01/02) up early for 3 day trek. Our group consisted of 2 Swedish ladies, 3 OZZY lads, a Yank and a well seasoned German. Our tour guide was called Pan and his superhero sidekick was none other than Ping Pong. Ping Pong was a mixture of Ray Mears, Chuck Norris and Superman. 2 hour ride. Stopped at a market for supplies. Ozzy Dan snapped up some salted bugs. Yummy! We also are unsure as to whether the driver ran over rover on the way. It didn't sound good though.

Had some luch at base camp 1. First of many nice meals. Started trekking in the rain. Luke and Chris dusted off their 'pro' walking boots and finally got them dirty. Luke's zip off walking trousers are now simply shorts. Trekking was more intense than first thought and was actually through a jungle. After 2 hour trek up the mountain we arrived at the village we were to spend the night in. Good look round. Accommodation can only be described as basic. Chilled out around the fire with the guitar. Would of helped if someone actually knew how to play it. Nippy night in the sac. Didn't help with dogs barking and a rooster going to town all through the night about 20 centimeters from our hut.

Saturday. Bigger trek. Sun was out. Went to another village where the kids had traded in their playstation 3's for some TNT. Different. After 2 hours arrived at an amazing waterfall. Water was cold but refreshing. Chilled out and took it all in. After lunch, and a catapult lesson from Ping Pong, we carried on trekking. Really ruff terrain up a river. After about an hour we come to another waterfall. It was literally breathtaking. Arrived at our second hut. We all tested the power shower out. Big bucket and a scoop. Refreshing. Chilled out round the fire. Sunk some Chang's, gazed at the stars and had a bloody good evening.

Sunday: Hot again. Short walk to the elephant 'base'. Chris rode with Evan on elephant that would put a donkey to shame! He looked excited about something. Matt and Luke had what can only be described as the Skoda of the elephant world. So much in fact that they were overtaking by another group. Good ride but not the smoothest! Afterwards it was straight into white water rafting! Awesome fun, we all really enjoyed it. Transferred to a bamboo number and just cruised down the river. Scenery was class although the water was fresh!

Returned to Chang Mai, a little worn, a little sore, but very glad we did the trek. It was amazing.

Sunday Night: Big night out! The whole trekking group (minus the veteran) met up at Heaven Beach. Had a bite to eat at Mikes. A traditional double cheeseburger with chips. Before heading back to bars. We experienced our first taste of Samsung : a mixture of whiskey, red bull and coke. Very Nice!!!!!! Played some killer pool and bopped to a live band. Luke saved face for the British on the pool table. Decided to hit a club - tuk tuk time! 5 people in a tuk tuk. Pass me the vaseline. Monkey club was a no deal so ended up at our second random night club of the trip. The music was Thai techno - not exactly a sing along- and the DJ was not budging despite Matt's persistence and an empty dancefloor. Treated ourselves to a bottle of whiskey for the group (750 bahts). The others were feeling tide so left the British with half a bottle, and about 5 glasses already mixed for us. Just as they left the bill turns up. It turns out that ice, soda and peps costs more than a bottle of whiskey which was a little surprising to say the least. Not impressed Chris coined a famous Ricky Gervais quote 'Are you having a laugh' mixed with some Gordon Ramsey language. Result. One pound off the bill. Wallets out and feeling a tad annoyed - British pride kicked in: 'we've paid for it, we're bloody well finishing it'. Luke the Dyson Purchase lead the charge. Matt the pepsi machine Hamer made the last few whiskey's for Chris and Luke eye watering.

Having given the DJ one last b******ing and Matt chatting up the Thai ladies we exited. Pride intact. Jumped in a Tuk Tuk. Luke sat on the drivers lap, Matt did his dog out of a window impression. Tesco was the destination. Luke and Chris purchased a light snack (pringles), Matt checked out what the Thai shelf stacking man was packing. Quote 'hot' . On route to hotel, Matt showed Chris and Luke his Colin Jackson skills. Having failed to clear what can only be described as a small hurdle, Matt dusted himself off and continued onwards. Quote 'that looks like a hotel. Is that a hotel?' 'Matt it's our hotel'.

Next day we had one last meal with the Trekking group. Nothing major. However we did almost die of laughter. Whilst in a taxi (kind of a bus that takes you where you want after it's dropped off who was in before you) there was a rather camp young Thai boy on his way home from college. Just as he was getting off the taxi he plucked up the courage to ask Luke. 'Are you gay?' Whilst we nearly died from laughter the young Thai chap pranced off. Classic. Early start the next day.

Tuesday (05/02). The visa run! Pinocchio strikes again!! Having all thought it'll be a quick trip up to the border and back we were in for a surprise. It turns out the visa run was actually a full day trip - with the average age on the mini bus topping sixty! Among the golden oldies were Face from the A team and a Japanese statue. Basically we felt as though we were on a SAGA holiday to Brighton..... We kicked off this fourteen hour marathon - with a 2 hour plus cruise to what can only be described as Baldock Service station with a fountain in the car park. Having minced about for 40 minutes - we finally tore ourselves away from the action and got back on the bus. 3 and a half hours later the driver 'Mansell' having overtaken everything in sight on a road that can only be described as 'rocky' took us to the biggest temple in the north. Having looked around a rather large garden shed with concrete feature attached it was back on the bus to see the Golden Triangle. ( The point at which Laos, Burma and Thailand meet)

300 Bahts later and onto a long boat we cruised to the Triangle. In short this is a slab of concrete in the river. Not quite what we were expecting. Quick stop in Laos - where we spotted Evil Knievel - photo to be added shortly) and some dangerous looking Whiskey - snake in the middle of the bottle - we hit a buffet. Slightly peeved with how the day was going we made sure we got our money's worth. A good five plates later, and Luke spotting Face brushing his teeth in the toilets, we set off for the main task. Arrived at the Burma border. A few stamps later and 8 seconds in Burma it was back to the bus. 4 and half hours later, a saw bum and a stop off a stop off at the Cabbages and Condoms resort - random - we made it home!

That was one action packed day!! Early start for Wednesday. We're off to the beaches!!!!