Unfinished buisness

Ive been staring at this blank screen now for a good 15 minutes. How do I sum up the past few months and even year?

let's play catch up dear readers. (I will try to cliffnotes this re-cap of my life as quickly as I can)

So, I no longer live in New Mexico. the girlfriend and I have been broken up now for a good 2 months or so. I won't get into the gruesome details, most of you probably know the whole story anyway. I guess to fully appreciate the good things in life, one must experience the horrible things as well. I'm still dealing with the break-up, but life goes on. Although there will be a whole lot of really good people that were in my life that I will severely miss and that hurts the most.

So, last year I left for my epic round the world trip, and only made it about half-way around. To put ones self in the right head space for that kind of trip takes time. It took me almost 2 years to get into that zone. The whole leaving everything and everyone behind to go off and see the world. It was epic, and huge, and became such an amazing part of my life.I loved every moment of it, met some amazing people and saw some beautiful places that I never knew existed.

I postponed a HUGE chunk of my trip around the world, for yes...(sadly) a girl. Which wound up being the very reason Im leaving (as a single man this time) to go BACK to New Mexico to pick up my bike and continue my trip. I should add that I also postponed this part of my trip for certain and great people who were going through some really tough times. Family problems, and cancer, and I only felt it to be the right thing to do, to stay behind and help out with a new family as best as I could. I don't regret my decision one bit. I do HATE that I gave myself to someone, took care of them, and loved them unconditionally only to get COMPLETLEY f***ED OVER

Ok, thats out....

So, tomorrow I fly to New Mexico to go pick up my motobike and gear, and it will be the first time walking back into enemy territory so to speak. I can't wrap my head around this trip just yet. I'm not looking forward to going back into the house that I lived in for the past almost year, to pick up the remains of my life there and ride into the sunset. I am heading west, it's pretty fitting like an ending to a movie...an end to a part of my life.

I'm not even so sure that this blog will make any sense. Sorry readers, but it's going to be quite the bumpy ride for the next few days.

I am ridiculously nervous...

Thank GOD for friends, and I have GREAT ones. I love them all, and they all pulled together for me when I returned back to PA after getting booted out by the Ex. They all listened to me babble about incoherent things, they all offered that friendly advice, and most of all, they all told me to just come back home, and everything will be OK. My friends ROCK, and without them, well, I would'nt want to imagine life without them. But they were all there for me. Put me up, gave me a roof, a bed, a place to call home. Some gave me a smile and a beer, while others texted or called to make sure I was doing OK. Even one who probably stayed on the phone with me for at least 1,000 miles. I'm sure I made no sense. My world was taken away, ripped right out from under me. I had no say, no explanation really, just a "I want to be single now, you need to pack up your stuff and leave." and with no remorse so it seemed. When you get dumped, and have to drive 2,000 miles, no song is worth listening to, your brain and heart become mush, things that once made sense, seem to no longer make ANY sense. I was choked up the entire ride...

sigh

my next blog will be from inside enemy lines. If any of you pray, please say a prayer for me that things go as smoothly as possible.

My only prayer will be:

"GOD, I hope the bike starts."