So I'm at Jakarta Airport I just landed from Borneo, I demand the next flight to Bali as I need to be somewhere normal I cant take this horrible sexist side of the world where they seem to hate females. So I get a flight it leaves in 1 hour so they tell me to push to the front to get my backpack checked in and head straight to my departure lounge. So I do all of the above. And I'm in my departure lounge and I realise this keeps changing from like 1 to 4. This has however happened a million times to me whilst spending time in time airport on previous visits so I accept its normal, the lady who checked me told me which departure lounge. It doesnt appear to corresponde with the screen but whatever. There's barely any white people as without being racist here I figure more white people would be flying to Bali to be honest but of course I dont think many white people particularly visit this part of Indonesia anyways (as its s***) so there goes that theory. So by now my flight should be taking off and I have had no 'board your flight now' tannoy announcement. So I wander around, my flight has no dissapeared off the screen which is concerning so I ask at the desk in my lounge what is happening with my flight as I need to be in Bali now. and theyre all like yeah dont worry its fine sit down, and she pushes my ticket back. 10 mins later I'm concerned I'm about to miss my flight I ask again and she's like yeah fine sit down blah blah blah. Then I hear my name being read out with lots of gobble de**** (indonesian) so I jump straight back to the desk and I'm like 'hello, this is me' where is my flight so they tell me to run to a whole new gate and look really pissed off with me. even though its their fault. Did I mention I hate this country!?! Absolute dickheads. So I run to my whole new gate everyone on the plane is waiting for me, and hates my guts as we are now and they have had their safety brief and everything haha f*** them all I am furious to be honest.

I finally arrive get my bag get in my taxi to my hostel and off I head to the land of normal people woohoo.

So I am in Kuta which everyone says is a bad part of Bali. To be honest, f*** that its great its like Australia but really cheap with nice friendly Indonesians so i am loving it. They also have Maccas, Burger King, Dominos Pizza, Bubba Gump and Boost!!! OMG! and it has a beach and surfers and did I mention nice people its the best place I've ever been at the moment for me. My hostel is brand new but not quite finished yet its a triple bunk bed situation. I'm on middle bunk happily and the best is so comfy and when I go to the toilet its a real toilet not a squatter. I'm buzzing repeatedly during my time in Kuta.

The first day I'm at the beach this hot (but weird) french guy accosts me on the beach he sunbathes next to me and demands he takes me on a date tonight I'm like 'hell no' but he's all like 'yeah baby' so I agree to meet him at Maccas as I dont have phone number here (lies) and I dont have internet access for Facebook (lies) of course I dont meet him at all and go for dinner with a crazy girl from Norway instead, then for a few beers.

The next day is more beach bum time and on the night this german girl in my dorm invites me out with her friends as she leaves the next day so we go meet them. 3 girls 1 other german girl and 2 girls from Finland maybe (some scandanavian anyways) and guy called Luke from England wahey!! He's living in Perth and we well hit it off its so nice to speak to proper northerner too its a awesome night we party hard, dance like dickheads, get all these really cheap vodka and red bull vouchers so get wasted. When we all head home we all go to Luke and the Finnish girls hotel to play in their swimming pool and have some more beers, I love this night out, me and Nathalie (my hostel girl) we end up in Maccas on the way home which really makes me happy I love this place. So easily pleased.

The next day I meet the Finnish girls and the other german girl for lunch in this cool street food venue. I then head back to the beach maybe?

The next day I get the bus to Ubud, I make friends with a Canadian guy there called Adam we get off the bus and go get some beers to figure our accomadation options. I plan to head to a hostel but on my way there (now tipsy) I encounter the monkey arena and there is monkeys down this creepy alley way where my hostel is so I decide I cannot stay here and beg a lady on the street to find me somewhere cheap to stay as I am sweating so bad its so hot here I cant take any more stress. She of course calls her friend who turns up 4 mins later to pick me up and take me to his homestay he is an older man and says if I dont like it he will take me somewhere else instead, it sounds reasonably cheap so I decide its fine before I even get there haha. its just off the main street and no where near the horrible monkeys so I am happy about it. Its an amazing place, 4 generations of family live there its just wow! I have an amazing huge lovely double bed, balcony, I have a bath and my own toilet! It is a happy assed little moment I have completed scored by getting this place in such a random way I get the last room too so I am happy his son is making up my room as I appear to check it out. I say YES YES YES and he gets me a cuppa to enjoy on my balcony while my room is prepared.

So after thats all sorted I decide to stay for 2 nights as my time is now short and I go and meet Adam and we head back to the Monkey Forrest together after I have some lunch, I tell Adam I hate monkeys and I dont agree with the whole feeding the monkeys banana situation. He still insists on buying bananas (douche) and instantly regrets it. He obviously has never encountered evil monkeys before unlike me! He carries bananas and the monkeys fleece him, I am a bit pissed off as I hate them things and I cant take it as they are everywhere and its freaking me out big style.

So we survive the monkey place he is still kinda impressed by them but also scared now too. We have a wander around Ubud its an awesome place I really love this place, there is just random alley ways that lead to rice paddies where people are working and actually rice picking and they are just absolutely beautiful! Its just a beautiful place here it has such a good vibe. We end up going for a few cocktails and people watching. I then head on back to my homestay to chill for the rest of the night as I need my bed!!

The next day I just wander round loving life bascially, there is some really cool art shops but its not like normal boring art its all awesome graffiti stuff and also some just really nutty crazy stuff thats painted all messy but its awesome loadsa propaghanda stuff. Its nice just chatting to the locals there too. I do at one point slip on a ramp path and hit the deck awkward haha. I am find though although I have smashed my hands up a little bit. Its all fine. That night I meet up with Adam again for some live music at this cool little bar, we meet an aussie guy from Bussleton WA which is 40 mins from Margaret River so we get on great this guy is awesome about 55 a bit of hippy I love him. The band playing this night is so cool they have a very rock n roll lead singer who is a crazy awesome female shes brilliant. Obviously not a muslim as she is quite sexy haha. Then this little 13/14 kids joins and does some guitaring for them and he is absolutely amazing. The guitarist who he replaces for the remainder of the set says he wants him to have live music experience as alot of band people cant deal with the whole audience thing so he is making sure he gets all the experience he can now while he is young. Awesome guy. I get myself a moto driver to this bar as its past the monkey place and I cant deal with that in the dark and the guy says to call him and he will drive me back too, so I take his number and call him when I'm done as its safer than walking back I accidently burn my leg on the engine, the guy is really concerned and I'm a bit like ah its ok as it doesnt hurt and he's worried and asks if I want to go to hospital and of course I dont as I'm fine haha so I head back to my homestay and when I get in and get my stuff sorted as I'm leaving in the morning, so when I'm sorted I'm lying in bed reading and it turns out my leg is fricking killing me!! its so sore. it looks ok but wow the pain is insane, so I get my leg under the tap in the bathroom. it appears to make no difference so I go to bed and hope for the best.

In the morning I get picked up get the bus to the ferry place and get on the ferry eventually after buying a new sarong off this lovely lady who tells me all about how naughty her kids are and we chat for ages she is adorable and then Its time for me to leave so on the ferry, its all very confusing where to get off as it makes tons of stops but I end up on Gili T the beautiful island. meet the guy from my hostel which is nice and he says we can cycle there. Great. I'm so not a bike person. Especially when the bike has no breaks and the road is an absolute mess of pot holes. Oh and my big huge backpack.

So he gets my big backpack and I getmy small one, its a disaster so I almost kill about 70 people which is on average 70% of the island resisdents. So Its a very bad moment eventually the guy decides my backpack is too heavy to cycle with so we walk the rest of the way now with 2 bikes to push. Doh! I told him I dont like bikes. So I make it check in and my room is s*** and stinks of sweaty people and there is no windows and its kinda like a boat cabin. Oh great.

My leg by now is a huge bubble sticking out of my leg, so I head straight to the medical centre and demand help its a mess I am not happy. He ends up having to drain my leg which is really lovely (not). Its very clean anyways so I'm happy about that. And he uses a sterilised needle which he seems very proud of bless him. He says its almost a 100% gaurenteed I am going to get a badly infected leg due to my surroundings. He gives me drugs but says I cannot drink on them. Erm, what?! He obviously sees the fear on my face and then changes it too have 3 a day but if you are going drink as you are on holiday then you can have just 2 and not one on the night. Thats more like it. He says keep it dry and open and clean. Ha!

There is no cars or motobikes on the island the only mode of transport is bicycle and horse and cart how cute. So this means there is poo everywhere and it keeps raining here on the afternoon as its wet season here so basically I will continually get s*** on my leg for real which is bad crack. So he dresses it up and sends me on my way and tells me to come back if I'm not happy! Nice guy.

My lovely crazy canadian friend from Fraser Island Justine is currently living here learning to be a rescue diver so I'm excited to catch up with her she is awesomesauce and I love how mental she is. So we meet for dinner that night, she brings another girl she's met there who is living in Liverpool Fiona, we hit it right off and we have dinner in this amazing restaurant where there is a divine salad bar and you get fresh bread and real butter. It is a happy day for me I get BBQ'd spicy fish and rice. This is probably the first proper meal I have had in a long time. So I am very happy again in Gili T. Im not even having a drink tonight (One beer does not count...) we all end up having a very un rock n roll nice as we are all shattered we agree to meet the next night at the irish bar party woo hoo.

The next day I chill at the beach and meet Jess from Liverpool who coincedently is my friend Liam from Melbournes friend who he met when she was working in Hanoi, Vietnam. Small world again people. We really get on so well northern monkeys together and spend the day together and her friend Oli joins us and we have a nice day of eating and chilling on the beach together, we meet Justine for lunch and its a nice day. That night me and Jess get pretty drunk and party hard at the Irish Party. The next day I'm moving in to Justines as she requests my company and she has a double bed so that saves me some cash and it means I get to see more of her which is cool as she is quite busy with her diving stuff. Its just down the road from hostel which is nice so not to far to walk. its a lovely little apartment. That day Adam who I met in Ubud is coming to Gili T so we meet him for dinner and Fiona too and some little jerk who we meet in a bar comes too hes an aussie and spends 3 hours telling us he's an amazing trained Barista, trained by one of the biggest companies ever and sells him self so much and we dont care but in the end it turns out he works for McDonalds so he is a world class barista in the f***ing McCafe. Wow. Good advert for how smart the aussies are haha its so funny we all spend alot of time laughing at his expence. During the dinner Justine and Adam continously argue as they are from opposite ends of Canada its so funny because Justine openly admits she is very obnoxious and truthfull and doesnt back down we love her for her she's absolutely one of a kind!! Me and Fiona spend the night rolling our eyes at each other and loving the moment haha. That night me and Justine lie in bed and talk for hours about our lives and its so nice just to have that, we both havent spent a long amount of time with good friends so its lovely that we're reunited here we get on so well. After realising we need to quit the chatting we go to bed finally. As she has a big day diving ahead of her and I have a big day on the beach... haha beautiful life.

Of course her lovely little aprtment comes complete with this evil cat that stalks our place, and spends all night jumping in the window and Justine kicks it out each time, so when we go to bed it been gone for ages. Cats really freak me out to, and I wake in the middle of the night and the cat is asleep on my side of the bed which I do not appreciate, In fact i'm quite scared by it as I always think cats will try to kill me. So I try not to move in fear and hope Justine wakes up quick to kick it out. She does not wake up at all and I lie awake basically all night freaked out. The next day I meet Jess, Oli and Ben from the hostel at the beach we chill out then start getting on it. Oops. It's oops as my leg is by this point definitely infected but I still have a few tablets left. We drink alot of beer on the beach watching the sunset. That night is Full Moon Party at one of the bars so we all head back finally to get ready for that. Me and Fiona meet for pre drinks in one of the bars Sama Sama, then go and meet some of her aussie mates, I end up bumping in to one of the crazy girls I met in Kuta there with the boy she was travelling with. She is insane but its good to see her. We all have a crazy night, Jess, Oli and Ben finally turn up and we hit the Full Moon party we have a lot of Vodka Joss, which is a powder that is basically red bull in a packet but really extra strong red bull. Its like Sherbet. You pour it in your mouth and then it starts fizzing up and you have a shot of vodka, swish it round your mouth and its soo nice!! but basically you get super drunk off it. So Fiona has her first one ever and then a few more we get some awesome photos of the occasion. Its a good night. I eventually get a bit bored of the party as its not amazing and Jess and Oli are kicking off at each other as theyre a bit pissed. Ben is trying to tell this scary aboriginal lady I'm his girlfriend as she is trying to beast him so I head off to look for Justine as Fiona has now also headed off home. I locate Justine in the irish bar flashing her bits to the world (like I said I love this girl) I meet a scouse girl Helen there - I swear every scouse related person in the world is drawn to me. She's screaming about losing her phone or it being stolen or something. I'm like 'eeeeee you're a scouser' we have a chat and it turns out she's moving to New Zealand in 2 days to Queenstown which is my sort of plan at the moment. We are buzzing to met each other now so we promise to keep in touch - drunken times that work out what a night.

We of course end up back at the dive pool as Justine has passed her rescue diver course so its party all round and we all go in the pool then me and Justine head back for our last night before I head back to Kuta the next day. We both fall unconcious instantly its lush haha.

The next day I leave booo! I love Gili T so much and I love the people I've met here I'm so sad to leave, its been a wicked part of my trip. I have breakfast with this handsome chap he tells me had ethanol poisoning off the local spirits here which you can die or go blind from - scary. Jess and Justine then turn up to wave me off which is so lovely bless them!! And then I see Helen who I met the night before and she's on my ferry wahey!! We sit on the deck watching dolphins all the way to the mainlain its lush!! We end up in Kuta and make real plans to meet in Queenstown exciting times!

That night Helen isnt playing out as she leaves super early, of course I am playing out and I head to Sky Garden with some french and english boys from my hostel and we party party party. Its awesome as last time I never made it there and its so good. it has like 7 rooms to party in I have the best night ever I love it. I also bump into some Swedish guys in my hostel who are like' we know you' and I'm all like 'What?' it turns out they met me and Ashley in Koh Chang when we were eating our hash brownie in Stone Free haha. So funny. Its so nice to see them guys bless them. As I mentioned previously my hostel is not finished being build so some of the toilets dont have toilet and some of the showers dont have locks and i'm in the shower and one of the swedish guys walks in on me full on starkers which is great of course. haha he is so embarrassed I think more than me as he doesnt speak to me ever again whoops! I may have traumatised him forever.

The next day Im heading at the beach and I'm hungover so I get myself a dominos to eat on the beach. So I sit down and there is something happening, it turns out its a Hindu funeral and they are burning a body on the beach I go to have a look, and I see an actual leg burning its a traumatic time for me and completely ruins my dominos moment to be honest. I feel violently ill. It's all a confusing time in my head of what happened when here as I made zero notes?!

My last day I spend at a nice pool for the day, as I think I deserve a nice day and the sand is sticky at the beach and my leg is horribly infected blurgh. I get more drugs when I visit the pharmacist in the proper shopping mall in Kuta she says its terrible and gives me penicilin which is nice sop hopefully that will do it as it is a very disgusting open wound in my leg.

That night I head to Hard Rock Cafe for dinner and cocktail to end my time in Indonesia. I have already had an email saying my flight is delayed due to technical problems but the good news is that its the dreamliner woo hoo super plane!! So excited and I'm sad to be leaving Asia but I'm happy to be getting back to Melbourne for the weekend to see Jim, Charl, Tommo and the guys! and I have plans to meet Liam which is cool as I havent seen him since I left Melbs in May!! So I sit at the airport for hours and finally get on the dreamliner I have a whole 4 seats to myself and I sleep pretty much the whole way there. Bliss!!! xxxxxxxx