Days 544-556, 8-20 Dec 2016, Final Days Fethiye... An Odyssey to Remember. If at first you don't succeed... try, try again. Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Odysseus returning home 20 years after the Trojan War. What, if anything, do these things have in common? And what's it got to do with Maltese postage stamps? The Turkish Postal Service. That's what. Way, way back on 1 December we ordered Malta Passes to use for our forthcoming sightseeing extravaganza. Having had outstanding success getting an eBay delivery from the UK, a Fedex delivery from the USA and even some brochures posted from France we thought 'why not' - three weeks to allow for delivery from Malta. Yeah. Right. Anyway for 2 weeks straight we would stop at the Security/Management hut and say "Any mail for us today?" No... No... Sorry, nothing today (Smile. Shake of head.) After two weeks, when asking our ritual question, the manager said "But we only get mail delivered on Tuesdays". It was a Monday. So we trotted out on Tuesday... "No, no, nothing today. But I'm going to the post office tomorrow - can I check for you?" Ooooh - yes please! Then we happened to mention it to our expat neighbours. They had a good laugh and pointed to their beautiful mail box screwed into the side of their villa. Nine years ago they bought it since the villa seemed to be missing a mailbox. Not realising that "Turkish Postal Service" is the biggest oxymoron since "Military Intelligence". They directed us to the local sub-sub-post office in Yaniklar village. Warned us to keep our expectations lower than a snake's belly and to be prepared to hunt through piles of mail ourselves. OK. So on Friday (and yes, we fly out on Monday), it was time to launch in action. We walked to Yaniklar village which was 2 kms away. The post office is based in a mini-market and despite a good search (under the till, in the mail racks, round the back), no small package for us... We asked "Is there any chance it's gone to the main post office in Fethiye?" Maybe (cue the smile and nod). Right. Not to be deterred we jumped on a Dolmus (that's one of the little minibuses - nothing to do with rice wrapped in vine leaves). Into town and to the big post office. Just us, 15 odd people and one person serving. To be fair, they used to shut the post offices for 2 hours at lunch time. Now they just send everyone off to lunch and leave a token person behind. Looked positive initially - he whipped out a techo bit of kit and (I thought) punched in my name. Nope. More so "phone a friend who speaks English". A security guard popped out and said we might want to try the Parcel Services post office at the Otogar/Bus Station. We set off again thanking our stars that Fethiye is essentially flat walking. Nice day for a walk luckily. How far? Another 2 kms. Made it to the Parcel Service Post Office - In goes the passport... Out comes... nothing. "No, no nothing for you. How big is it?" So I demonstrated a small package - about the size of a small guidebook. Ahhhh... maybe in the Letters Service section... Out the door, round the corner, up the un-signposted stairs that look like they go somewhere private. Ended up following an older lady who looked like she was on a mission. Once more with the passport and the request... we were literally in the Last Chance Saloon of the postal service. No counter, lots of racks of mail and packages. First gent was doing the turning the passport upside down thing. But then, the king of the postal service grabbed in and headed to a pigeon hole (presumably the "Foreigners Mail We're Never Planning to Deliver" section) and there it was! Hugs all round, much gratitude and we jubilantly headed downstairs. Victory! Success! We will overcome! Then we jumped on a dolmus and headed home. It has since occurred to us that realistically all that occurred is that we ordered something online, and received it, no big deal. But it really, really was. With our hard-earned Malta Passes in hand, the bags packed, online check-in done and the cab ordered we are now 100% ready for our next adventure - Malta, we're on our way.