"There are doorways I haven't opened,
And windows I am yet to look through.
Going forward may not be the answer......
Maybe I should go back."

-- Hive

"I was in love once".
"Really? What was her name?".
"I don't remember".
"That's... not a good start. But please, continue".

-- Anchorman



When one travels, one undoubtedly lies. Everybody lies. Some do it more than others, some do it with more style and some just flat out do it better.

But everybody lies.

From the now-world-famous Three Point Fade Away to the ever popular "I do have a boyfriend but it's an open relationship" and right up to the "But of course, your Yak Intestine Stew was delightful - just the right amount of partially digested brown stuff", a traveller's life is fraught with untruths and deception. Very much like a modern marriage or a credit agreement.

One of the most common lies is the "Of course I'll come back" lie. This lie is particularly interesting because people often don't know they're lying at the time. I have heard it countless times in all the places I have stayed for any length of time. People get attached, people make friends, share good times and bad, and then convince even themselves that at the first opportunity they will be right back...

But then they get to the next place and the next set of good people and better times, and the whole thing gets forgotten. It's one of the reasons we do it - one of the only reasons I do it. It is a constant pleasure to be able to slowly forget about places I would happily live for many years, as the memories get replaced by new and different destinations.

I told my good friend Karim many years ago as he was agonising over a choice between the girl of his dreams and the trip of a lifetime that such a choice wasn't a chore - it was a privilege. And as it happened, he chose right.

But anyway. This time, as it turned out to everyone's surprise, I wasn't lying.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Melbourne, via a weekend in Hong Kong to visit my brother Dave. And I'm looking forward to it very much.

My work here is done, and it was about time I got to experience the pleasure of having leaving drinks again. In fact on Saturday my good friend Rob and I invented a whole new type of drunk, where not only do you have the sudden urge to recite the Talavera speech from Sharpe, but when you've finished someone says 'let's do that again'.

As it turned out, I didn't hate being back in Nottingham as much as I feared. In fact, I was pleasantly reminded of all the good people I know. The place is still a s***hole, don't get me wrong. In fact walking through the streets is akin, I imagine, to leafing through used toilet paper.

I think the main thing was that this time around I wasn't running a pub filled with idiots, and when I ventured into one it was a social thing. I was also able to spend time with people who have been in my life for years but, due to all sorts of hilarious reasons, I never made time for.

So it came as a pleasant surprise to realise that there are a lot of people here that I'm going to miss.

I'm still off though. I can't go into the details as they contravene at least one of the Holy Trinity of reasons not to write about something on Travelpod, but I'll be gone a while.

But Karim gets married next year, so I'll be back.

And I hope I'm not lying.