Banjour from PARIS!

The last three days have been so spectacular! Lani and I have had THE most amazing time exploring Paris, becoming fluent on the metro and knowing the BEST gelato locations by heart.

Our first day together we got up at 7 to walk to the Notre Dame. The day before we had checked the opening time as the church had a line at least 300 metres stemming from it! Paris at 7 am is vastly different from busy, rushing, noisy, exciting Paris we had experienced the day before. We could actually walk in a straight line down the street, not having to pass people with prams or dodge the people begging for change. The wasn't a constant HONKing of horns as cars get jammed all trying to go in the same place. There would seriously be NO point to having a car in Paris because it is just so hectic and you spend you whole time honking at people going willy nilly in the middle of the street! It was nice to see this side of Paris as we walked 20 minutes to Notre Dame.

Our plan to beat all the tourists who would surely be having their holiday sleep ins until ten had paid off. We were one of the first people to arrive and walked straight into the deserted Notre Dame, a rare sight to be seen compared with its usual tourist buzz! It was amaaaaaazing. We sneakily took photos of the amazing stain glass windows, pretending like we were searching for signal or just texting people from really high up haha. After soaking in the real ambience of Notre Dame (with NO tourists because clearly being up at seven means we are locals) and left to go and enjoy breakfast and one of the BILLIONS of cafes lining every street.

That day included LOTS of french foods including baguettes, duck fat roasted potatoes, fruit, cheese and my new favourite most amazing thing MACAROONS. Amazing in France.

With a night of possibility ahead Lani and I made the bold decision to attend an english comedy sketch show we saw advertised when we went to the famous Shakespeare and Co bookshop. We made our way skillfully by train to the stop, running slightly late for the 8.30 start. When we got out of the underground the head towards the 'Sortie' (exit) to find our way up to track down the location. When we got off there was an elevator that was crowded FULL of people. Lani and I laughed off the prospect of an elevator and accepted the challenge to hit the stairs. FIRST MISTAKE!!! Normally there will be no more than 3 of 4 flights of stairs but I promise you we had to go up TEN BILLION!!! They kept going and going and going. NEVER ENDING! We actually wanted to cry our legs were hurting so much from when at the beginning we opted to lightly jog up the steps. We had now been reduced to clinging to the side rails panting and keeled over! NEVER AGAIN!

When we finally reached our destination at the comedy sketch and paid TEN EURO we were happy to sit down... on two stools?! We went into basically a CAVE in the side of a wall with a tiny stage set up in it and makeshift chairs set up in the room. Two people were just sitting on a ledge on the wall! Now I really don't think I convey to ANY of you how god-AWFUL these sketches were. Honestly terrible!!! This man owes Lani and I an hour of our lives back and 500 flights of stairs. The sketches were based on these weird scenarios like sexual harassment, Allah, a woman being obsessed with a statue, and last and CERTAINLY least one where a man who used to be fat was going for an interview to be a beekeeper and the other person there was a transvestite in pornos then they got stung and had to give each other mouth to mouth and just thinking about it makes me want to CRY! And it went on and on and on!!!

We couldn't help but laugh about the whole thing when we were finally allowed to leave the dungeon of no humour. We were glad we had gone just to know that something so terrible could be produced. So we made our way to the nearest eatery to share an amazing pizza with the soccer on in the background.

After detouring past the Moulin Rouge to snap us underneath we expertly caught the pink line back to our hotel at Bastille. In the tram we made a nice friend from America who asked us if we had been out- to which I immediately responded Yes! while simultaneously Lani responded no, ruining the fake story I had going. He then asked if we lived in Paris and again I immediately went with it and responded with YES! while Lani again responded No.. But to this guy, we COULD have just been out and we maybe DO live in Paris! We can be whoever we want to be! From then on Lani and I embraced the power of being in a city where no one knows you and allowed people to presume that we lived here and had just been dropped off by our Prince fiancée.

When in PARIS!