Well i cannot believe what I am about to say...... It's time for my final blog!!!

I must admit, that for the last 3 days I have been trying to postpone my flight, so that I can come back to Arusha for an extra week after Mombassa, to my disappointment this could not be done and I have had to face the fact that I have to come home and sort myself out.

Work has been in casualty again this week, I really feel like this is were I excel the most, I love feeling part of a team and the consultant there is happy to hand things over to us and be there when we need him. This week we discovered that a 14year old girl was 7 months pregnant!! Shocking, I know this happens a lot in the UK but here there is no support for young mums, she will have to leave education and probably bring the child up alone. It is not like most countries, a man would never consider bringing up a child that was not their own. Another interesting case that came into casualty was a 21 year old girl that was so stressed and suffering with histeria her body had shut down, it was almost like she was in a coma, so surreal but like many others she woke up without any intervention. The story behind her sadness breaks my heart, her mother and father have died in the last month, she has been left to bring up her younger sister and younger brother, and she is being threatened with redundancy at work. She doesn't know how she is going to cope. I hate the fact that I get to walk away from all of this as if it doesn't matter and go back to my 'life' in the UK.

i have made some amazing friends from around the world here, i'm sure that we will stay in contact for a very long time. I had to say goodbye to Zu and Anthony at 4 this morning as they were going to Zanzibar, lets just say after living with the boys for 5 weeks i am going to miss them an immense amount. It is going to be so strange not having my life in music anymore, and I want to thank them for always telling me exactly how it is. I have made a great friend in Devis the tour guide, he is so knowledgeable about Africa and I have learned a great deal from him, we are going out tonight one last time, saying kwa heri (goodbye) is going to be very difficult.

My time time in Arusha has certainly not only changed me as a person, but completely changed my out look on life. Before I came here I thought I knew what I wanted and it turns out that was not the case. I have learned that no matter how scary it is, sometimes challenging yourself can pay off bigger than you could ever begin to imagine. I'm left with lots of questions, am i happy? do i want to do nursing? do I want to live somewhere other than England? Do I want to travel? Do i want to return to Arusha?? But when it comes down to it there really is only one question that matters, Do I have the balls to change it??

So after much deliberation about how I should end my blog, I have decided that really there could only be one sentence.

To be continued.....