Okey dokey peeps, thought it was about time we filled you in on our first week. Managed about 6 hours sleep on the plane in between some of the worst food imaginable (grey chicken microwaved in some kind of orange jelly. Dear god i can still taste it!). Got a taxi from the airport to the Grand Hotel and got our first taste of Bangkok traffic. Jesus Christ. These people are off their trolleys. Imagine 5 lanes of traffic all driving like me. Weaving in and out of lanes, squeezing each other out. The only thing which stopped us being scared was that it was rush hour so a lot of it was spent bumper to bumper. Anyway, we got to the Hotel and ours was supposed to be next door, but obviously we couldn't find it and spent about half an hour sweating out of every orifice lugging our rucksacks. Turns out it was right next door but a bit too literally for us. Anyway, booked in had a cold shower (they're the only sort you need, trust me) and headed out for something to eat and to get twatted ready for the Sweden game. The food here is amazing and costs less than a Mcdonalds. Now this is Bangkok right? Home of the 24/7 party. Could we find a bar with more than 2 people in it? Coud we arse! So we decided to walk back exploring a few side streets on the way, just in case. We turn this quiet corner and Bang, suddenly we're right in the thick of it. Girls girls girls, banging music, neon all over. Scared the s*** out of me it made me jump so bad. And fellas, they are all gorgeous, I kid you not! Stunning is an over used word, but these girls really are. All of them. No fat ones with gammy legs (sorry Johnny). This is the 'infamous' Soi Cowboy (although we didn't know that at the time). We wondered up and down amongst the gorgeous girls and the fat middle aged western men and picked what we thought looked quite an ordinary bar and popped in for a quiet one. Wall to wall girls pole dancing in their pants. Fantastico! Well for me anyway. After a rather embarassed silence between the two of us, we sat at the bar and ordered a beer. we managed about two mouthfuls before we decided we'd better move a bit further back from the action and went and sat at the back, where Mandy got a kiss from one of the girls, we had another two mouthfuls and after another long silence spent trying not to look too uncomfortable we went back ouside to watch whatever game was on. Bear in mind this is like our second drink and we've had virtually no sleep for about 4 days. This is where we find out that all the bars in Bangkok close at 1. After that it's nightclubs or casinos. The game doesn't start til 2. Not too firkin impressed was I at this point. Apparently, in order to deflect criticism, the King has decided to try at keast in theory to clean up Bangkok. Twat! Could've waited til after the World Cup. So we had a few more beers and headed back to the Hostel where they had a tv at least, and hoped that there might be a few people to watch it with. It was only about 12ish, and then it happened. The football thirst came upon us. Beer after beer after beer after beer. Steamboats by 1.30 when everybody else turned up to watch it. Don't remember too much of the game other than standing for the national anthem trying to remember the words (I've watched the highlights since and quite honestly I'm glad I don't remember it). Needless to say we ended up staying up all night with Jamie (an english guy), Nang (his Thai girlfriend), and Stefan (an Icelandic bloke) talking rubbish and planning the first bar we were going to hit when they opened. About 8.30 ish we went to the driving range next to our hotel (I think in some part due to my drunken bragging about Tiger Woods being a f*****) but fortunately it was closed so we went out for breakfast and ended up in Subway of all places. Then more beers and then home for some much needed slumber. Loving Bangkok to bits. That evening involved pretty much just drinking with Jamie and Nang, but then the bombshell came. Nang told us that Soi Cowboy is full of lady boys. Now having seen them and with a usually remarkably perceptive gaydar I am still not 100% convinced. Anyway, I guess I'll never get to find out cos Mand won't let me (stag do in Bangkok anybody?). Got to go now, I'll put in the rest of the week tomorrow probably. got to go rescue a damsel in distress! Neil & Mandy xxxxxxxxxxx