For those of you with any Ozzie roots you will know of The Magic Pudding. For those who are uninitiated in Australian children's books, this is a pudding that you can eat and eat but it never gets any emptier. I have my own Magic Pudding here in the form of The Magic Plughole. So far I have lost the soap twice, my contact lense case, a pair of knickers I was washing and my tweezers. Some have been rescued by tweezer and some by snapping my hair straighteners down there.

We are all feeling pretty ****** today but there is nothing like a bit of monkey power to revive your health. We have been to a sacred forest where there are sacred monkeys. About 20 monkeys with spectacles on came down for their banana treat, all squeeking and throwing banana skins on our heads. A lot of furry tummies to tickle. Then on to a waterfall with lots of multicoloured butterflies. No pics though as they had very itchy feet.

We have now just got back from some villages - lots of cataracts, huge worm filled bellies, umbilical hernia's and ringworm. We have been 50 km up the road, then 50 km back. 50 km up and 50 km back as Ali got a bit confused. Probably not as confused as the police blocks are. We eventually got to one village for a dance where a guy with an AC Milan shirt on shuffled about and sang an annoying song. The kids loved it though especially when he tried to balance a big stick on an upside down bowl. He ended up proposing marriage to Kaye because he liked her nose (Kaye's mum take note, she says all is not lost).

We are now staying the night in a brothel although at the right end of the corridor darlings. As long as they don't keep me awake, I don't give a damn. Tonight is a damson vodka with sprite night.