We are sitting on the roof of the guesthouse watching vultures circling us and considering popping to the shop next door for some frozen meat for them. They are much smaller than I thought and look a lot like chickens. There isn’t much else to do here - we arrived in Cartagena and it’s packed full of pot bellied Americans in shorts from cruise ships. Hundreds of touts running down the roads after you with the usual crap too which I don’t remember from last ...

Having diced with death in a tiny propeller plane to Medellin, we are here. It wasn’t very comforting being in the front row right behind the pilot seeing out the windscreen, especially when everyone made the sign of the cross at take off, every bump on the way and landing. The pilot had sat nav which made me very nervous, FFS is that how you fly a plane? Medellin is chockablock with Venezuelan refugees selling Indian jewellery, juggling at traffic lights and ...

Not too sure what to write about this place - we are in a guesthouse, the only guests with hummingbirds everywhere and a private chef. We had a ‘ Tasting Menu’ last night which was 5 courses of normal portioned food rather than the usual snail soup in thimbles or some revolting pretentious yuk. The only slightly wierd thing was when Ween had a chicken breast course, I got a soya burger which was a bit challenging. There are definitely too many bugs here which...

We arrived at Villa de Leyva on 7th December which coincided with the Catholic festival of candles ( something to do with the Virgin Mary, who they’re pretty hot on). There were 25,000 people cramming into tiny cobbled streets and a main square with two men running around lighting fireworks off the back of a lorry. Lots of rainbow coloured candles in doorways and side streets full of fairy lights. We escaped one day to go off to another town, driving to a potte...

It worried me a little bit that the second Ween finished reading my first blog entry he said ‘I need you to email me a copy of the insurance in case something happens to you and you end up in a coma’. I think with my current hormones he thinks I’m going to get in a fight. Nobody to fight with here as far too many armed police and swat teams with full body armour on. One of them was tucking the dog at the chocolate kiosk into his blanket box for his mid morn...