DAYLIGHT ROBBERY 2

19th Septemberr 2009

Jake invited us for lunch the other Sunday.He was leaving to go back to UK for his brother's wedding and obviously felt sorry for us being left behind.Lunch was duly booked at one of the two hotels boasted by Kundiawa.We were looking forward to it for, as you know, we don't get out much.Upon arrival, drinks were ordered but to no avail, as the bar wasn't open.John marched off to rouse the barman, who was still asleep, but eventually drinks were purchased and the menu arrived.We are puzzled as to why they bother with a menu.They could just as easily state, 'There's pork, chicken or fish and it's all cooked the same', or we could save ourselves the trouble altogether and tell them to bring whatever they've got.But we went along with the game and ordered, only to find half of what we had ordered was 'off', despite us being the only customers!Reordering then took place.I asked for barracuda (I am fish starved) and had a choice of pan fried or in the dreaded batter (thick, soggy and tasteless).I opted, in very firm and repetitive tones, for the PAN FRIED fish.

Nearly two hours later, we were told the food was ready, so we eagerly got to the table, pretty hungry and prepared to do battle with whatever was presented.Everyone was served with what they ordered, stone cold of course and I was served with chicken, in the dreaded batter.It was all too much and I thought if we always accept things when they're wrong, nothing will change, so I politely told the waiter that I had ordered PAN FRIED fish.Everyone tucked into their cold, battered food, confident in the knowledge that there was no likelihood of them burning their mouths.Half an hour later, when everyone had finished, my fish turned up, yes, you've guessed, in the dreaded batter!This was when I admitted defeat and gave in graciously!It tasted like a lump of soggy carpet.Luckily, we were able to laugh a lot and had a good time, despite it all.We avoided the likely disaster of coffee (they don't do puddings) and decided to go to the coffee shop for a decent cup, but even that wasn't up to it's usual standard.However, I enjoyed the poached egg on toast when we got home!!

The school is on holiday this week, as it's the Lutheran pastors' conference being held in our school.They are celebrating 75 years of Lutheranism since the first missionaries arrived.So the place has been inundated with pastors, their wives and various hangers-on from all over PNG, so it's quite a crowd, as every man and his dog is a pastor in these parts.The school has always had water problems - usually a lack of it and when it's available the pressure is very poor.So what a surprise to learn that there is no running water and the toilets are clogged up, so people are 'going' all over the place.Bear in mind too that there is currently a serious cholera outbreak in PNG, to say nothing of the potential for typhoid under such circumstances.

The conference began on Saturday, the problem identified on Sunday, so things are not boding well.Many of the teachers have erected food and buai stalls all over the school campus with always an eye for making a few kina.Our next door neighbour (Mr I) put an awning up just outside his house and in front of ours, under which his wife was selling those delectable flour balls which are made of flour, yeast and water rolled into a ball and deep fried - Yum!(At least they're not battered!!)

On Monday morning we left the house (no water from the tap) to go to a meeting, to find running water issuing from the ground just where the awning had been erected by our neighbours.Yes, you've doubtless guessed, in putting in the posts for the awning, they severed a water pipe!!We mentioned it to Mr I, who hadn't noticed anything amiss, who rallied his children, dug a hole and did a temporary repair (he was muttering something about elastic bands!) so goodness knows how long it will hold.

Sadly we're not on holiday this week as we are preparing for a head teachers' conference on Thursday and Friday.There's actually not a huge amount of work, as we've planned this one around as many nationals doing slots as possible, so when we leave they can arrange their own conferences - maybe!We're supposedly 'capacity building' ie teaching them to 'do it for themselves.'We get the feeling they would much rather have the 'white man' back to do it all for them - it takes less effort that way.

As a result of a relatively light workload during the early part of the week, Philip offered to support Alfred (primary volunteer) on Tuesday, as he was doing a presentation at a primary school, which involved carrying a laptop and projector.It involved a ride of 45 mins on a PMV followed by a 15 min walk.During this walk, they were attacked from behind by two raskals, one of which held a bush knife to Phil's throat, and they made off with the laptop and projector.Alfred had a damaged arm and Phil a slight scratch on his hand and they were both pretty shaken up.The school teachers, the police and the Provincial Education Officers were alerted and they rallied round to provide help. We discovered this morning that the goods had been recovered and one of the raskals captured.

We were relieved about this, as we needed the projector to deliver our conference on Thursday and Friday. Phil and Alfred needed to get out to the police station today to fill in statements etc so John and I offered to go in support.As several officers from the Provincial Education Department were involved, there wasn't enough transport for us all, so the Governor of Simbu lent us his vehicle, which John drove (governor of Simbu for the day!).We got to the police station and Phil and Alfred went inside to do the paperwork.A pig was grunting at the front of the station - apparently the police had put pressure on some of the local villagers to find the other raskal by pinching their prize pig and a coffee grinder - whether they'll get them back I have no idea.

John and I stayed outside the police station with the melee of villagers who'd caught the raskal, when some very unpleasant noises issued from inside the station and the villagers all crowded round the door.I asked one of them what was happening, 'Oh they're just torturing the prisoner to get him to confess,' he said, as though he was just discussing the weatherr!!It was horrendous, like something out of a medieval horror story! Anyway, When it was all over, we all stood outside in a circle, the station commander thanked the villagers, the Provincial Education Officers, his men and said sorry to VSO.The villagers thanked the police, the Provincial Education Officers and said sorry to VSO.The Provincial Education Officers thanked the police, said they were sorry to VSO and told the villagers that if the culprit wasn't found, the local school would be suspended until he was!VSO (ie John) thanked everyone and his dog and this went on for quite some time, round and round and round.Eventually we escaped and drove home in style, totally exhausted, to put the finishing touches to the conference programme.We're hosting a dinner for the head teachers tomorrow evening and have got a speaker, so more interminable speeches to come!!If these people could only 'do' for as long as they love to speak, things might get done around here.

Off to find my hand outs, board markers and butchers' paper, then we're all set for tomorrow's chaos - will they turn up on time?Will they turn up at all?Will the presenters put in an appearance?Oh well, couldn't be any worse than to-day, though I'm not betting on it!!

Next blog will be after hols - til then love to all from

'The Governor' and me