ERIC AND URN

March 21st 2009

John has nearly ended himself recently.We have a spare mosquito net hanging over our open door to keep out the bugs (see photos).The trouble is, John either nearly hangs himself, trips over it or spills whatever beverage he has in his hands trying to negotiate it's voluminous folds, I will not repeat the profanities which issue forth at regular intervals!So, he comes home from shopping (bless!) full of smiles saying he has met with James, the school carpenter (who has no work at the moment, until the school board meet to approve his appointment), who would be only too pleased to quote for the purchase and fitting of a fly wire door in place of the mosquito net.

Great idea!! James turns up on Friday morning.The dogs, who have been waiting for their breakfast, immediately attack him and draw blood from his leg - not a propitious start!!We then get an urgent phone call to attend a meeting at the Education Offices in an hours time, so we leave the key with James so he can continue the good work, (bad move).We return from said meeting to find another person helping James to fit a device on the outside of the door, (which should be fitted inside), to ensure the door stays shut, but this way, it ensured the door stayed open - yippee says the bugs!!So, John puts them right and discovers that James has locked the door and it now cannot be opened!There ensues much head scratching, wise nodding and not much happening.James removes all the door frame.Still nothing happening.He suggests we remove all the louvre windows and push his child inside - to do what I wonder? I wait patiently, aware of all the work that has to be accomplished that day and getting panicky.On looking at the new fly wire door, I realise that in the ensuing debacle with the door lock, James has pushed his screw driver through the fly wire in two places - yippee say the mosquitos!! James has now meticulously patched up the offending holes, under John's teeth clenched supervision!Bodgit and Son are alive and well in PNG!

It's World Prayer Day to-day, when the whole world is allegedly praying for PNG.I trust you all participated?I have no idea how we came to deserve such attention.The school was closed of course.We have a school chaplain, who rails against the teachers for not attending the weekly Christian fellowship meeting held in the school every Wednesday night.Having been duly admonished, we learn on the Thursday morning that the fellowship has been cancelled because of rain.I suspect we have, like John and his attempts at golf, fair weather Christians, with fellowship attendance being dependant on weather conditions.

Now for Eric and Urn.Only the oldies amongst you will recognise the pun relating to Eric Morecamb and Ernie Wise, two comedians, one of whom is sadly deceased.Eric works in the Provincial Education Offices, I have no idea what he does, but he was asked to provide an urn for a Personal Development workshop that we ran last week.Upon arrival at the venue, we found no chairs, no lights and no urn.Eric was nowhere to be found, so we had to beg, borrow and steal two kettles from willing donors. The plug we tried to attach to these to didn't work, so we were introduced to a complicated system of wires, designed to trip any unwary passer-by, passing under doors, round corners and across corridors into an extension lead, which thankfully worked.Another dude who works in the education department, busy doing nothing most of the time I suspect, was found balanced precariously on a pile of chairs, bashing away at the lights and muttering under his breath - some incantation or other?Somehow he survived electrocution and any broken body parts and eventually all was illuminated. We had planned a power point presentation, but ditched the idea it in case there was a blackout and we got cut off in our prime. By this time, John and I were exhausted and we hadn't even begun the workshop! No explanation has been proffered by the said Eric, when we have met him since.Thankfully, the kettles were man for the job and all went well, no thanks to Eric and his missing urn.

Last week we turned up for a conference at a 'hotel' in town, having been told the time, date and venue by officers working in the provincial education department.Meeting to start at 8am.To set a good example, we turn up at 5 to 8.At 9.30 the Secondary Standards Officer turns up to tell us the venue has been changed and could he give us a lift to the new venue?Thank you very much.So the meeting then started at 10am.The presenter was a bloke from Aus Aid presenting to head teachers in the province.We got a very warm feeling when the presenter said he would like to take the VSO Simbu Education Team (us) into other provinces across PNG with him.To a man, the heads protested and said no way would they let VSO go, they wanted to keep us in their province and they gave us three claps (not a clue what that's all about but it's something they do to show approval - why three? Search me).We felt very wanted.

The day of our two-day conference for head teachers arrived after an enormous amount of work on our part.We arranged, well in advance, for the school truck with driver, to transport us to the venue, as we had boxes of folders, computer and projector to take with us.8am was the deadline - that arrived and no sign of the driver.John stomps off to find him, muttering under his breath, trousers rolled up to avoid mud splatters from the engulfing slime (not a pretty sight!). His house is down the side of a valley, which, after the torrential night time rain was like glass and I could just see John ending up on his backside.So, a neighbour, sensing our predicament, hollers down the valley repeatedly - no response.A student on his way to school is also hailed, and he hauls the driver (I suspect out of bed) to transport us.

We sail off, with me under a pile of boxes and bags in the cab with John hanging on for dear life, standing up in the back of the truck.I envisaged him being tipped into the road at every pothole!

We arrive at the venue in one piece (a catholic church hall) without mishap and the driver deposits us at the door.It is locked. We assail a passing woman who works at the church and ask if she could find the key.She visits the priest, the key has been taken by someone into town and someone else has been dispatched to try and locate it - things are now becoming decidedly tense!We wait, we fume, we mutter and curse!We then hear voices coming from inside the church hall.We investigate and discover a back door, which is open!We have tables, chairs and electricity - calm is restored.

Head teachers arrive.Every single school in the province was represented with their deputies and some even brought a board of governor member - this was remarkable.Most were on time.Of the few who weren't, one had left at 3am to walk and two others had walked for 6 hours, negotiated landslides and arrived covered from head to toe in mud - but they were there!!We had officers from the education department too and the conference went very well.I was finishing a session to coincide with what I thought was lunch time, when the ladies doing the lunch announced it would be 15 minutes late (the wood for the fire had been left out in the rain and wouldn't light), so I continued with the session, only to be told a few minutes later that actually, the lunch would now be delayed by 30 minutes which in actual fact was 45.Talk about flying by the seat of your pants.

The next day, Friday, was similarly unnerving.We arrived, with our wonderful power point presentation to find, just as we were setting up the computer, that the electricity was off.We madly produced some displays on butcher's paper and coped with that, as there was no electricity for the whole day.In addition, not only was it Friday 13th, but it was also 'pay Friday'.As a result, several head teachers disappeared during the day to collect their pay slips from town, but miraculously returned.Nevertheless, the evaluations were marvellous and the heads really enjoyed the active learning which we focused on, rather than what they were used to in school, which was copying information from a blackboard. They particularly liked the role play, which we used to illustrate the difference between an effective and ineffective school from the students' perspective. The evaluations showed that nearly every school wants us to perform it for the staff when we visit their schools. John plays the part of a 'Kevin' in a baseball cap who hates school - imagine!So we think we'll give up the day job and set up as strolling players!The officers from the education department said that they too had 'learnt a lot', so the next step is to provide in service sessions for them.Whew, there's such a lot to do.

Next week, we are following up the conference by going into six schools, supporting the leadership and management teams, observing lessons and running a workshop, then 6 more schools the following week.On Monday we leave at 6am and because of the rains, we may or may not get back, if we don't, we are likely to be sleeping on a classroom floor - joy! Cockroaches!!Then we are off to Karamui again in a couple of weeks.John is planning on taking a mattress this time, just in case!

A state of emergency has been declared again in Kundiawa, as there has been yet another landslide on the highway, cutting off the highlands from the coast.The Philippino in our team has been stockpiling rice, as that is his staple diet and it may become scarce, as the tankers can't get through. We haven't been offered evacuation yet and rumours are that although the slide is still moving, some vehicles are beginning to get through.The trouble is that the rain is still pouring down, which makes the land very unstable and the mud is revolting.Our clothes get filthy on a daily basis, so if it's not sweat, it's mud! A serious shoe emergency has arisen.Two pairs of my shoes have got holes in them, I suspect caused by too much sweat from the inside and water and mud on the outside.However, the temperature is wonderful for me - I'm no longer a constant puddle of sweat, as it's currently like a hot summer's day in UK, just lovely.

Despite everything, we are fine.Hoping to manage a break in about 3 weeks, which is the end of term.John is planning a diving excursion and a visit to the 'Pompeii' of PNG.An active volcano, which has covered a town, Rabaul, in ash, just like Pompeii. We need to check sea conditions though and the flight possibilities.

Hope spring is in the air, the flowers and trees are beginning to burst into life and there must be daffodils?Hey ho - the electricity has just gone off.Oh well, I needed an early night!

Love to you all

XX

PSWe were without internet or phone connection since before last week-end until last Tuesday, so hence the blog has been somewhat delayed.Will report on the Karamui trip on the next one - we leave on Monday and hope to return on Friday, if there's a plane!!